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Summary

A revised and updated edition of the best-selling guide to understanding borderline personality disorder.

After more than two decades as the essential guide to borderline personality disorder (BPD), this new edition now reflects the most up- to-date research that has opened doors to the neurobiological, genetic, and developmental roots of the disorder as well as connections between BPD and substance abuse, sexual abuse, post-traumatic stress syndrome, ADHD, and eating disorders.

Both pharmacological and psychotherapeutic advancements point to real hope for success in the treatment and understanding of BPD.

This expanded and revised edition remains as accessible and useful as its predecessor and will reestablish this audiobook as the go-to source for those diagnosed with BPD, their family, friends, and colleagues, as well as professionals and students in the field.

©2019 Jerold J. Kreisman and Hal Straus (P)2019 Penguin Audio

Critic reviews

"A book that may save you a lot of time and wasted, misguided pain in dealing with a loved one (with Borderline Personality Disorder)." (SystemsThinker.com)

"A good resource for professionals and families, because it provides therapists with concrete ideas to incorporate both instruction and hope into their practice by providing patients and their families suggestions in simple, non-condescending language. It is by far the best book on the market on BPD." (Anita Biase, StrugglingTeens.com)

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What listeners say about I Hate You - Don't Leave Me

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Dreadful

Absolutely horrible- pretty much blames BPD on women. whether it be leaving the home to become (gasp!), something other than wives and mothers, or having greater freedom to leave abusive marriages leading to single parent households, this joke of a book makes it clear that were women to "know their place" and stay in the home, BPD cases would be a fraction of what they are now.

Also they describe individuals with BPD as selfish and manipulative, not to be trusted, histrionic, nasty, and all around terrible people. They also advocate manipulation tactics and deception in order to "deal" with those with BPD.

There was a nice slab of racism that they threw into the mix as well, so that really was the rotten cherry on top of this particularly nasty cake.

17 people found this helpful

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Informative

Loved it, very insightful and lots of info, expecially if you've been experiencing or know someone suffering.

2 people found this helpful

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Somewhat outdated and biased. Insightful still.

Love the alternation between he and she. Really organic. The book is somewhat outdated and a bit biased in some cases. Still the book is really insightful and contains a lot of valuable examples and tips.

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Profile Image for Anastasia Lankford
  • Anastasia Lankford
  • 25-08-20

If you have BPD do not read this

This book made me feel so much worse about myself and gave me barely anything to better myself with.

18 people found this helpful

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  • ElisabethHawkins
  • 18-04-21

Outdated, Inaccurate, and Often Harmful Depiction

I work in mental health and thought this might be a helpful read for those unfamiliar with BPD. At first I thought some content might be helpful but language was dated but the writing just continually uses phrases like "The Boarderline" (which is fairly dehumanizing for individuals with BPD) and content like self-harm is more often associated with "boredom" than emotional pain. Additionally, aspects of LGBTQ+ are considered diagnostic criteria in addition to the section "The Disintegrating Culture" in which contemporary culture is compared to victorian times it says "WOMAN'S SHIFTING ROLE PATTERNS (CAREER VERSUS HOMEMAKER, FOR EXAMPLE) TEND TO AGGRIVATE IDENTITY PROBLEMS. INDEED, SOME RESEARCHERS ATTRIBUTE THE PROMINENCE OF BPD AMONG WOMEN TO THIS SOCIAL TIME CONFLICT."

There are parts that are beneficial but this anachronistic book is harmful and inaccurate overall. I suggest looking into videos or writing by Marsha Linehan. She developed Dialectical Behavioral Therapy specifically for BPD as she has BPD. She's a great start to a compassionate, professional, and personal experience.

8 people found this helpful

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  • Heidi Marissa Hageman
  • 30-04-20

ugh.

very negative. biased and annoying to listen to. I'd like to know more about the "characters". not just the negative traits. guess I'm not in the mood for self evaluation or self critique. I'm getting a fiction book ugh. LOL

8 people found this helpful

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  • Matthew Barton
  • 25-11-19

Borderline Personality Disorder, understanding.

a bit technical but definitely worth reading especially if your living in a BPD's world.

6 people found this helpful

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  • Julio Valdes
  • 05-03-20

Fantasy book

So far the best book I found to understand Borderline personality disorder. Hands down recommended.

5 people found this helpful

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  • Nadine Reeves
  • 05-03-20

Real Case Studies

The information in this book is really helpful, in particularly the real case studies. There are suggestions that can be applied to relationships now as well as in depth research shared in an easy to understand way.

4 people found this helpful

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  • Matthew Bringhurst
  • 20-01-20

Hindsight 20/20

Sure could have used this a year or so ago before getting into my last relationship!

4 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 23-02-20

very insightful on the topic of BPD very good

I really enjoyed this read 10 out of 10 would read again ha ha ha

2 people found this helpful

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  • Rose
  • 30-01-20

Eye opening

Parts of this book was like living with a love one w/ BPD. Many good techniques to use.

2 people found this helpful

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Profile Image for Clinton Young
  • Clinton Young
  • 22-10-20

Understanding a loved one

I first purchased a paper back copy of this book and given my lack of understanding with much of the medical terminology used in this text, I found this version extremely helpful not only in getting through the book in a timely manor but it helped me to better focus on the message this book is relating.

My ex fiancé is a person unlike anyone else in this world, or so I thought until finding this text. Until finding this book I could never understand why she did or said they things she did or how anyone could be so irrational, emotional or disagreeable and think that they were justified In doing so until I read this book. It has truly opened my eyes and my heart towards those that suffer with and from BPD. The author does an amazing job and explaining the ins and outs of BDP, the causes and treatments for and (what was most important to me) how to effectively communicate with someone suffering from BPD.

I would like to thank the author for all the hard work put into this book, and for truly helping me to better understand someone i still care deeply for, it will forever have changed my life for the better.

1 person found this helpful