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Summary

Brought to you by Penguin.

Children take their lead from their friends: being 'cool' matters more than anything else. Shaping values, identity and codes of behaviour, peer groups are often far more influential than parents.

But this situation is far from natural, and it can be dangerous - it undermines family cohesion, interferes with healthy development and fosters a hostile and sexualised youth culture. Children end up becoming conformist, anxious and alienated.

In Hold on to Your Kids, acclaimed physician and best-selling author Gabor Maté joins forces with Gordon Neufeld, a psychologist with a reputation for penetrating to the heart of complex parenting. Together they pinpoint the causes of this breakdown and offer practical advice on how to 'reattach' to sons and daughters, establish the hierarchy at home, make children feel safe and understood, and earn back your children's loyalty and love. This updated edition also addresses the unprecedented parenting challenges posed by the rise of digital devices and social media.

By helping to reawaken our instincts, Maté and Neufeld empower parents to be what nature intended: a true source of contact, security and warmth for their children. 

©2020 Dr Gabor Maté (P)2020 Penguin Audio

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Every parent or guardian should read!

This book was so insightful and addresses not just how & why its important to hold onto ur kids but coveres some lager social economial issues that have created the problem. At times i disagreed, however as the book unraveled its view points, the logic and evidence backed up the opionions with a clarity on parenting I've never felt before. I decided to apply some advice and after only a couple of days the difference in my 9 & 6 years old's was apparenrt. Thankfully my children are young enough to easily re-engage with little effort. I've recommended this book to all my friends with children and all adults in my children's life (including their teachers).

3 people found this helpful

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Everyone needs to hear this

Whether or not you have children, the insights here will be profound, especially the postscript.

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interesting and valid, though not the font of all.

Good narrator, I found the writing a bit.....smug? I don't know, some very astute and important points mixed with out of date thinking and impossible or untrue statements. I will be applying much of.this to my parenting, with a pinch of salt.

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Eye-opening and life-changing

This is by far the best book on the parent-child relationship that I have ever read. I have only just begun to apply Gordon Neufeld’s ideas but have already been astonished by the reduction in anxiety in both my children and myself. Our relationship has become closer, less stressed, and conflicts are less frequent. I am deeply grateful to have found this book.

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All parents need to hear this!

This book put into words the knowing that I have as a parent. It has made me more confident to keep my child close.

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This book holds the key to effective parenting.

I found insight into my own childhood, and lessons to be learned as a grandmother. A valuable read well narrated.

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An eye opening book!

Highly recommended for parents of children of all age. An eye opening book about the peer cult and Influence on our children.

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Should be issued in every maternity ward.

Love Daniel Mate's voice, as always. This book is the answer to every parental concern about our children and how we may lose influence and connection with them. I've recommended this book to many of my clients (I'm a therapist working with families).

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a profound book, but ...

sadly, like much of modern teaching for children, proper discipline is despised. Under this method children never endure correction in the form of punishment. Punishment has been an important part of child rearing for centuries.

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What a great book!

what a great book! must read for parents! The approach to parenting based on attachement. The information is on attachment theory I have it also from other books, but this one opens my eyes into peer to peer issues.