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Summary

You hear and read a lot about ways to improve your relationship. But if you've tried these without much success, you're not alone. Many highly reactive couples - pairs that are quick to argue, anger, and blame - need more than just the run-of-the-mill relationship advice to solve their problems in love. When destructive emotions are at the heart of problems in your relationship, no amount of effective communication or intimacy building will fix what ails it. If you're part of a high-conflict couple, you need to get control of your emotions first, to stop making things worse, and only then work on building a better relationship.

The High-Conflict Couple adapts the powerful techniques of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) into skills you can use to tame out-of-control emotions that flare up in your relationship. Using mindfulness and distress tolerance techniques, you'll learn how to deescalate angry situations before they have a chance to explode into destructive fights. You'll discover ways to manage problems with negotiation, not conflict, and to find true acceptance and closeness with the person you love the most.

©2006 Alan E. Fruzzetti (P)2016 Tantor

Critic reviews

"Fruzzetti's focused use of the specialized dialectical behavior therapy makes his book unique in the couples-therapy field and recommends it for larger public libraries." ( Library Journal)

What members say

Average customer ratings

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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An insightful approach

I enjoyed this book and found it insightful and useful. my only reservation and the reason it didn't get 5 stars is the fact that it doesn't make it really clear that if a couple are trying to find solutions to habitual conflict they should only ever this program if both are committed to the same outcome and both follow the program.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Jessica Saunders
  • 19-10-17

Notations Should be Left in the Written Version

It is very hard to listen to a behavior therapy book and follow the train of thought when every other sentence has notations and references listed regarding where the data came from. Important information,I know. You have to credit your sources, and reference appropriate studies and papers, however, in the middle of an audio book is not the place for that. It breaks up the whole flow of the message and makes it very hard to listen to or care about. I am 30 minutes into a 6 hour book and am already annoyed. I will attempt to continue and change the overall and story ratings when done, but performance will stay at 1 star.

7 of 7 people found this review helpful

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  • Elena
  • 11-02-17

Loved it

Recommended to anyone not just couples with problems. I'll listen to it again. Great purchase!

5 of 6 people found this review helpful

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  • Dan Carter
  • 24-09-17

practical new patterns<br />

tangible practices offered to break away from old patterns. listen through to get the full concepts.


1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • jill ballard
  • 07-06-18

A Audiobook to listen to many times over

Every Morning I listen to this audiobook while getting ready for work. I have been in couples therapy for 1.5 years with a man that is bipolar and has a personality disorder. This book has been perfect in getting my own self esteem back on track.
It teaches you how to stay present remembering that your partner is the one you love, no mater what. I do recommend this book to couples that spend time, energy, blaming, returning to past events letting go and seeing the big picture

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  • Yanina Sarquis Adamson
  • 24-05-18

Some parts are good, but expected better

I expected better for someone that worked so close to Marsha Lineham herself. In my opinion the exercises and examples were not very useful and the narrator made everything a million times worse. I would suggest listening to a sample before buying and figuring out if you will be able to tolerate Vanessa's reading were she ENUNCIATES every SENTENCE as if it were CRUCIAL. Every-single-sentence. Some advice was useful though, like how important validation is, and the "practice in your head how you are going to respond to conflict with validation before you actually do it in real life" and the "acccept what you cannot change by changing its meaning". If you are an avid reader, you might not lose to much by buying it and maybe gain some, but if this is the only book you are going to read about couples, I suggest looking for another book.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 22-02-18

great

great examples which will help with everyday conflicts. i believe i will listen to it again to get everything

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  • R. Dettlaff
  • 09-09-17

Great Book with Exercises and Directions!

This was a great book based on research with practical applications you could practice in interactions.