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  • Self-Compassion Step by Step

  • The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself
  • By: Kristin Neff
  • Narrated by: Kristin Neff PhD
  • Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
  • 4.4 out of 5 stars (227 ratings)
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Self-Compassion Step by Step cover art

Self-Compassion Step by Step

By: Kristin Neff
Narrated by: Kristin Neff PhD
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Summary

A six-session training course for transforming your relationship with yourself.

Why does it feel so natural to be compassionate and kind to those we care about - yet so hard to treat ourselves the same way? "Our culture teaches us to use self-criticism for motivation and to build self-esteem by constantly measuring ourselves against everyone else," says Dr. Kristin Neff. "We need to re-learn the essential skill of being genuinely nurturing and supportive toward ourselves." With Self-Compassion Step by Step, this groundbreaking researcher reveals the clinically proven power of self-kindness, with practical training for cultivating an enduring and unshakable sense of your fundamental human worthiness.

Over the past decade, an overwhelming body of research has shown self-compassion to be a master key to good psychological and physical health. Whether you wish to reduce stress, develop healthy habits for exercise or diet, unlock your creativity, or even deal with serious conditions such as depression or addiction, a strong sense of self-compassion is an essential ingredient for success. Best of all, self-compassion is a skill that can be learned. Through six sessions of teaching, Dr. Neff offers guided meditations, experiential practices, and on-the-spot techniques to help you build a strong foundation of self-compassion in your daily life.

"We often become our own worst critic because we believe it's necessary to keep ourselves motivated," says Dr. Neff, "but in fact the research shows that healthy self-compassion increases our inner drive, our resilience to setbacks, and our ability to excel at work and in every aspect of life."

With Self-Compassion Step by Step, she presents a powerful training course that is both accessible and profoundly transformative - a practical approach for creating a life of greater happiness, fulfillment, and love.

©2013 Kristin Neff (P)2013 Kristin Neff

What listeners say about Self-Compassion Step by Step

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Transformed the way I see myself and the others.

Where does Self-Compassion Step by Step rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

I read a lot of self-help books and as a result, I've heard many times, we see in others what we have in ourselves. In other words "you've spot it, you've got it", both for positive and negative traits. But if we reverse the statement, we cannot see what's we don't have and we cannot give it to the others either.

I was programmed to achieve success, with no time or place for excuses - "if you want to count on somebody, count on yourself" motto used to lead my life. I always though I am compassionate, whenever watching tragic news on TV or hearing my friend's misfortune news I felt sad.

This book however opened my eyes and made me understand why my relationship with people feel distant and seem to lack affection, as well as why I feel this longing for understanding nobody can give me.

While listening to the book and doing the exercises I allowed myself to cry and it took a couple of weeks. It felt like my whole sadness surfaced and flooded me like a see. I was drowning. When I finally stopped crying, I had a very good look at myself, my life, the way I approached it, the way I coped with it and I realised how lonely I was all this time, holding to the unshared pain. I understood, all these years I was too pre-occupied searching for ways to fill my emotional hole to be truly concerned by the others.

Today, thanks to the book and Kristin's research, I understand myself so much better, and with self understanding came self love and self respect. I stopped running and had a look at what is happening around me and decided to do for the others, what I did for myself - to reach out, listen, cheer up, share, appreciate, respect and love.

I have a feeling that since working with the topic of self-compassion everyone changed around me, but obviously I know better, it was me who changed and the others only mirror my inner world.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Self-Compassion Step by Step?

The exercises, where for the first time I imagined myself, not as 4-5 years old, but as a new born, who resting on mother's chest, innocent, unaware, unprepared and completely dependant on other's people help, had to learn by trial and error, how to cope with all the demands and expectations the society has towards us and also how to deal with every failure.

Have you listened to any of Kristin Neff’s other performances? How does this one compare?

I listed to the presentation on you tube. I like the fact the author reads out her own book, it gives it an extra value. Although Kristin's voice could be described as whiny at times.

If you made a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

If you want to deeply fall in love - go and meet your true self.

Any additional comments?

It is 'a must read' for those who work on the self-development and changing their life patterns.

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51 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Absolutely Brilliant

Would you listen to Self-Compassion Step by Step again? Why?

Kristen Neff gives you time to absorb the content and the exercises are done in a very very helpful way, and I like her voice.

What other book might you compare Self-Compassion Step by Step to, and why?

Compared to Caroline Myss Book for Healers which I tried the content is done in a more relaxed style with a open mind and very relaxing.

What does Kristin Neff bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you had only read the book?

The Content that was read was done in a relaxed style, if I had a paperback version I dont think it would have been twice as good.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

Everything. Kristen Neff moved me by what she has experienced with her own expertise.

Any additional comments?

I would recommend this book to anyone in the self compassion field. Do not bother with Caroline Myss's Books or the Book for Healers, you will be disappointed with the content.

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11 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Very good content but poor quality recording

It's an unusual and useful read - made me think about how I treat my self and others in a way that I'd never considered before. It left me feeling warm and looked after and I liked that. Some interesting research and ideas.
My only gripe is technically the recording is rather unprofessional. The back ground noises and swallowing sounds, during the mediations in particular, were distracting and for me a bit unpleasant to hear in my ears. I ended up playing gentle background music on another device to mask it.
Still, the information in the book was really helpful. It just needs to be recorded professionally to the usual Audible standard.

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7 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Bad Audio

Struggled to finish because of swallowing noises during narration. Very frustrating however content was good

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7 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Essential listening

If like me you are interested in the work of Tara Brach, Paul Gilbert and Rick Hanson this is essential listening. Even if you are new to the concept of self-compassion and wish to learn more this is a fantastic introduction. Kristin Neff narrates her own book warmly and compellingly. There are also self-compassion and mindfulness exercises throughout the book which I found to be excellent. Highly recommended.

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7 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Wonderful practice

This book has really helped me nurture more kindness and compassion to myself, I really like her practices. For someone who used to be highly critical of myself and others, I can highly recommend this audiobook.

I love this step by step guide, but it would be nice to have the actual book as an audio book read too. I have the book, but only read a little of it. But I would like to be able to listen to the actual book as well. Xx

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5 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Very helpful and real

Informed by Kristen's scientific research and her personal journey. A helpful combination of explanation, informal practices and meditations. Life changing.

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    2 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Just couldn't get into it

If this book wasn’t for you, who do you think might enjoy it more?

Was looking forward to this based on reviews but lasted about an hour.

I've listened/read a lot of books on mindset, self care, buddhism etc, but this was too slow. Authors tone is just not for me, far too slow and spiritual means you're dragging your heels and often miss the message in the pace.

Shame, but not for me

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4 people found this helpful

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    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Unprofessional audiobook by hippie mind in denial

First of all self compassion, loving kindness are not new concepts to me.
This audio is by far the worst I listened to.
It is a horrible audiobook. There are so much better resources out there.
In this audio you find a lot of meditations and you hear constantly during every of them swallowing sounds, heavy breathing, smacking which are very disturbing during exercises. I never came across so unprofessional recording for sale. Any meditation I have seen on YouTube was made better.
The author herself the way she talks seems emotionally unstable. You can feel through her often voice changes how her mood constantly goes up or down.
She talks about pain she still feels about something after 15 years practicing of self compassion (not a very good advertisement for compassion. I recommend her CBT, Feeling Good by Burns (book, no audio) if she wants to get rid of it ).
I was expecting more rational approach from a person with scientific background.
Instead I heard about shamans curing her autistic son (of course it did not work), about unhappiness of her previous husband whose she dumped and married other guy she met on her hippie journey in India.
It is very sad to see when she wants every positive happening connect to spirituality, compassion while they are so easily explained by science.
She really lives in denial and try to build kindergarten concepts, explanation
to support that.

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3 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Not for the journey to work

Would you try another book written by Kristin Neff or narrated by Kristin Neff?

If it was a proper narrated book that I could listen to in the car then I might give it another go, but on the basis of this one, no.

What three words best describe Kristin Neff’s voice?

The recording isn't very clear so it's hard to really describe it.

Any additional comments?

I admit I hadn't read the blurb fully but I was expecting a book that I could listen to while I was driving to work. Sadly so far this has mostly comprised of guided meditations and long silences.I am sure this is a great recording to be used as a guide for self work, but not in the car on the way to work.

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2 people found this helpful