Regular price: £27.69

Membership details Membership details
  • A 30-day trial plus your first audiobook, free
  • 1 credit/month after trial – choose any book, any price
  • Easy exchanges – swap any book you don’t love
  • Keep your audiobooks, even if you cancel
  • Free, unlimited access to Audio Shows
  • After your trial, Audible is just £7.99/month
OR
In Basket

Editor reviews

Lori Gottlieb's controversial best seller argues that women often approach love with unreasonably long checklists when they should approach it with an open heart. Mia Barron captures Gottlieb's witty and smart tone. Listening to Barron is like gossiping with a friend; it's hard to stop even when you know you should! With funny anecdotes and revealing personal stories, Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough, may not paint every girl's fairy tale. Still, it imparts a healthy dose of real-world wisdom for listeners ready to be luckier in love. Besides, Gottlieb's humor makes sure this medicine goes down easy.

Summary

You have a fulfilling job, a great group of friends, the perfect apartment, and no shortage of dates. So what if you haven’t found The One just yet? Surely he’ll come along, right? But what if he doesn’t? Or even worse, what if he already has, but you just didn’t realize it?

Suddenly finding herself 40 and single, Lori Gottlieb said the unthinkable in her March 2008 article in The Atlantic: Maybe she, and single women everywhere, needed to stop chasing the elusive Prince Charming and instead go for Mr. Good Enough. Looking at her friends’ happy marriages to good enough guys who happen to be excellent husbands and fathers, Gottlieb declared it time to reevaluate what we really need in a partner.

Her ideas created a firestorm of controversy from outlets like the Today show to The Washington Post, which wrote, “Given the perennial shortage of perfect men, Gottlieb’s probably got a point,” to Newsweek and NPR, which declared, “Lori Gottlieb didn’t want to take her mother’s advice to be less picky, but now that she’s turned 40, she wonders if her mother is right.”

Women all over the world were talking. But while many people agreed that they should have more realistic expectations, what did that actually mean out in the real world, where Gottlieb and women like her were inexorably drawn to their “type”? That’s where Marry Him comes in. By looking at everything from culture to biology, Gottlieb frankly explores the dilemma that so many women today seem to face—how to reconcile the strong desire for a husband and family with a list of must-haves so long and complicated that many great guys get rejected out of the gate.

Here Gottlieb shares her own journey in the quest for romantic fulfillment, and in the process gets wise guidance and surprising insights from marital researchers, matchmakers, dating coaches, behavioral economists, neuropsychologists, sociologists, couples therapists, divorce lawyers, and clergy—as well as single and married men and women, ranging in age from their 20s to their 60s. Marry Him is an eye-opening, often funny, sometimes painful, and always truthful in-depth examination of the modern dating landscape - and ultimately, a provocative wake-up call about getting real about Mr. Right.

©2010 Lori Gottlieb (P)2010 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic reviews

"I wish I could round up every single woman I know and assign this book for discussion. Gottlieb helps women see how our cultural or private fantasies build up so many expectations that they destroy the possibility of real love and, eventually, marriage. Marry Him is a big fat lesson in how not to get in your own way. Any woman who wants to find true love and hasn’t been able to should read this book." (Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., relationship expert at Perfectmatch.com)

More from the same

What members say

Average customer ratings

Overall

  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    4
  • 4 Stars
    2
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    1

Performance

  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    4
  • 4 Stars
    1
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    1

Story

  • 3.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    1
  • 4 Stars
    2
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    1
Sort by:
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Educational

This was my first audible book and enjoyed it, recommended by a friend. loved it

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Excellent!

Interesting, intelligent, well written and funny book on an important and misunderstood subject. At the very least it will make you think, even if you end up disagreeing with it. Recommended listen to all young people and single people of all ages.

Sort by:
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Sylvia
  • Sylvia
  • 19-05-10

Must Listen

If you ever had a friend that has settled for Mr. Good Enough, you must listen to this book. I laughed the entire time!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Lajuan
  • Lajuan
  • 13-03-10

Good Book

I enjoyed this book. My daughter is reading it. I purchased so we could share our thoughts. I have been married for nearly 38 years. I really feel for women at this time because it is tough, for both genders. This author takes the time to go through so many areas. It is very informative. Narration good. Thanks

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Julie M.
  • Julie M.
  • 02-03-10

great book!

Must read if you are dating or want to date in the real world.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Marcheta
  • Marcheta
  • 09-02-10

A Revelation

I love this book and have bought copies for my friends, sister, and counselor. It's a sobering comment on how women so quickly lose out in the finding Mr. Right sweepstakes and should focus, and probably far more successfully, on finding Mr. Good Enough. Her insights on how to approach online dating are a must for anyone who's thinking about it or getting ready to try again. Young women especially should read this book, but it's an eye opener at any age. I highly recommend it.

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Utilisateur anonyme
  • Utilisateur anonyme
  • 07-02-18

hilarious book

Loved it. I know so many women like the ones described in this book. Passing along information.

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for JTizzle
  • JTizzle
  • 13-08-17

Hypergamy explained at its finest!

This book is about hypergamy and the grass is always greener approach. This book is not so much on settling as it is towards picking the right traits that matter for a long-term relationship.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Dr Fuzzy
  • Dr Fuzzy
  • 11-06-17

Saved my marriage

My unrealistic expectations didn't stop at the wedding. Listening to this book taught me how to celebrate the amazing things in our marriage I was overlooking while judging our relationship based on messages I was getting from the media

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Yesenia
  • Yesenia
  • 12-02-17

couldn't stop listening!

it was insightful, educational, with numerous ah ha! moments.... almost made me sad... and for a second feeling hopeless, but in the end inspired! thank you for sharing your reality. I truly related on quite a few levels,. It's time to accept how it is, and change what I have the power to do differently 👍

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Stephanie
  • Stephanie
  • 26-08-16

very useful!

very useful, straight forward, and thought provoking. practical stories that encourage self reflection. worth the easy read!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for KindLeigh
  • KindLeigh
  • 17-02-16

This is an important book!

I loved this book. As a 40-year old single woman and as a psychotherapist and coach.

It's the best relationship/dating book I've read since reading Attached four years ago. That's say a lot, especially since I've recommended Attached to hundreds of people.

I highly highly recommend this book to any women who are single, dating, married, in a relationship, etc. - it is definitely geared towards heterosexual women, but I imagine some of it could apply to lesbian women, too.