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Summary

In the classic best-seller His Needs, Her Needs, Willard F. Harley, Jr., identifies the ten most vital needs of men and women and shows husbands and wives how to satisfy those needs in their spouses. He provides guidance for becoming irresistible to your spouse and for loving more creatively and sensitively, thereby eliminating the problems that often lead to extramarital affairs.This revised and expanded edition has been updated throughout and includes new writing that highlights the special significance of intimate emotional needs in marriage.

©2013 eChristian (P)2013 eChristian

What members say

Average customer ratings

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

good love guide book

helping to understand both side of your love ones good basic love guide book

  • Overall
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    5 out of 5 stars

Superb!

I finally found the time to get through this family life classic! ...frank, practical and enlightening.

0 of 1 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Great stuff

This books breaks down all the pitfalls couples are most likely to expect in their marriage and how to survive the issue knowing exactly what really going wrong. Great book to read with your other half and it will be an interesting journey for the both of you.

0 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Ange
  • 22-11-13

Very practical and helpful

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Recommended for those seeking practical advice for maintaining a loving and respectful heterosexual relationship. There are strong beliefs about traditional gender roles.

What did you like best about this story?

There's practical advice backed up by examples of conflicts and reconciliation. I appreciated that the language was NOT too academic (i.e. boring) like how some psychology and self-development books can be.

What about Willard F. Harley’s performance did you like?

Good. Very engaging and easy to listen to.

What did you learn from His Needs, Her Needs that you would use in your daily life?

Always keep working on my relationship.

Any additional comments?

I believe that author is Christian but he does not saturate the book with Scripture references or religious references that would prevent non-Christians from understanding the principles and advice of the book. I also appreciated that the author uses simple language and everyday examples.

7 of 7 people found this review helpful

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  • Pat in Ohio
  • 15-09-15

Not currently married.

I was married for 42 years and now widowed for 2 years. I have gone through many emotions since my husbands death. The realizations that while we loved each other my emotional needs weren't being met hardly ever. I now have a better understanding of where the lack was. This book helped me clarify for myself what I need. If I ever remarry this book will help me to determine whether the man I have an interest in can really fill these needs of mine. Excellent book. If I had this book while married we would have been more able to fill each other's needs better and found more joy and happiness together.

13 of 14 people found this review helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
  • Me
  • 24-02-15

Good

I believe this was a good book with relational concepts valuable to all, but the book seemed geared for younger couples are or just post marriage. A good deal of content seems like common sense, but that's just me. Reader seems a bit condescending.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • Laura
  • 16-11-15

Meh.

Although the basic message is there and helpful, I think the examples he uses are dated and unrealistic. There are parts of it where it sounds almost like he is victim shaming. I'm really sorry, needs not being met in a marriage usually goes both ways and are by no means an excuse for an affair. If gives the cheating spouse a by saying "it only happened because you weren't meeting my needs". I would only recommend to friends responsible enough to see through that.

6 of 8 people found this review helpful

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    2 out of 5 stars
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  • Tracy
  • 15-09-16

Disappointed

What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

First, what I am frustrated by is the lack of understanding. He talks about women "needing to wear makeup" to be beautiful, and "needing to lose weight" to be beautiful. This is societal shaming and it needs to stop.

Women are not innately unattractive because they don't wear make up, or because they are fat. There are some gorgeous women who are fat, and there are some stunning women who choose not to wear makeup.

For example, Alicia Keys hasn't been wearing makeup, but she is still a stunning human being. If a man only finds a woman attractive when she wears makeup, he is not finding her attractive at all. He is finding attractive what society has told him to. Men are attracted to women biologically. That means that before women ever wore makeup, we were making babies. If you look at past art, men used to find fat women attractive. That means it has nothing to do with changing your appearance to fit someone's ideals, but finding someone who loves you from the start. If we perpetuate this idea that "most women have changed themselves" for guys when they are dating, and then get into marriage and "let themselves go" then we need to change how dating happens, and not our level of comfort and vulnerability in a marriage.

He uses an example to excuse himself, saying that if a man goes into a marriage expecting a thin woman, and his wife gets fat, then that should excuse him. The thing is, though, if you go into a marriage not knowing that your wife used to be fat, and struggles with eating, then you are going to struggle with more than superficial issues. Second, a woman cannot be expected to constantly look "put together" when the same expectation placed on men is that they "brush their teeth" and "take a shower".

You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

I appreciated some of his advice, but the more I got into it, the more I found myself talking to my fiance about what he really wanted from me, and not about what some guy says he needs. In the end, it comes down to whether or not you are honest with your spouse before your marriage about who you truly are. If you have lied about who you are, then you are going to have a lot more trouble than if you have just been an open book to start with.

12 of 17 people found this review helpful

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  • solo20
  • 14-07-17

A must read!!

I learned a lot and will apply. The author is very straight forward and doesn't mince words or topics... a little hard to listen to sometimes because just the thought of my marriage going thru infidelity gets me upset!!!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • ngozi okafor
  • 24-12-15

So awesome

Insight I would have loved from my mother or sisters. Rang so true for me. Saved me from making some life altering mistakes. Thank you!

3 of 4 people found this review helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 19-05-18

Loved it! Great info if put into place.

Loved it! We had been working on the wrong things and frustrated that they weren't helping. This helped identify the real issues and helped us work on the source of the problem.

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  • NycKingDavid
  • 17-05-18

Great Read and must read for a Marriages

Im going to recommend to all that are married or dating. learn and grow together.

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  • Daniel J. Taveras
  • 15-05-18

intriguing, an eye opener!

love the steady pace of this book, found the examples honest and factual life accounts that happen in every day at a blink of an eye.

I learned things that seem obvious but as daily life takes hold can make these small efforts take a back seat and neglects the ones we love.

I read the painful threads in forums that could have had great use out of this book, and nip these potential affair in the bud in rhe very beginning.

I'll be passing and recommending this book to my wife, and love ones.