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Football Crumpets

The Laugh-Out-Loud Queer Comedy Script

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Football Crumpets

By: Lucie Isle
Narrated by: Lucie Isle, Len Pennie, Lewis Hancox, Albert Desymons Azis-Clauson, Rose Clark, Freddie Main, Charlie Craggs
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Summary

Welcome to Funcliffe park. It’s a crusty old caravan park that's falling into the sea, the neighbours are all weird, but forget about that! Have a cuppa and a crumpet instead. It’s 1999 and Nanna wants to keep her football-mad grandson Nobby out of trouble, but everything’s going wrong. Nobby’s having a terrible birthday, Nanna's whacked the local MP with a marigold glove and worst of all, she’s just stewed the tea. Will Nanna and Nobby triumph? Or is it full time for Funcliffe?

©2025 Lucie Isle (P)2025 Lucie Isle Literature & Fiction Satire
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Listener received this title free

This book ability to make you fall in love with smallest moments. It’s funny charming and heartwarming in all the right ways whilst also having incredibly important overarching themes. A book about a “boring” old caravan parked made me tear up twice - a truly special listen !!!

Beauty in mundanity

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Listener received this title free

This isn't just another comedy; it's a rollicking, laugh-out-loud journey packed with so many unexpected twists, you'll feel like you're on a narrative rollercoaster. The humor is sharp, original, and perfectly delivered by a fantastic voice cast, ensuring you'll be chuckling along.
But beneath the brilliant comedic timing and ingenious plot contortions lies a genuinely inspiring core. What begins as a seemingly absurd premise gradually unfolds into a surprisingly poignant story about gender. The characters, initially presented as caricatures, evolve into wonderfully relatable individuals whose triumphs and tribulations will genuinely resonate. You'll find yourself rooting for them, even as the plot throws another hilarious curveball their way.
Perfect for a long commute or just escaping into a world of witty chaos, "Football Crumpets" is a refreshing listen that proves comedy can be both deeply entertaining and profoundly uplifting. Highly recommended for anyone in need of a good laugh and a healthy dose of inspiration!

Prepare to have your expectations delightfully subverted with "Football Crumpets"!

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This is an excellent and heartwarming story that kept me laughing from the brilliant voice acting, unusual characters, and hilarious sound effects (Nobby’s little pitter patter cracks me up every time!) As an American, I’m not familiar with the football crumpets phenomenon over the pond, but the universal message came across nicely without being preachy, especially during this day and age. Without giving away too much, this is a story that illustrates that despite our differences, listening to other people’s stories can lead to acceptance and admiration. I liked this story so much, I gave it a second listen shortly after the first. I’m looking forward to more stories from this author!

Heartwarming story with twists and laughs!

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Listener received this title free

Football Crumpets is genuinely brilliant; a story within a story, wherein themes of trans identity, classism, and discrimination are visited in a way that evokes emotion across the spectrum. The cast are amazing, and Lucie has written a hell of a script. It's wry, compelling, surprising, incredibly funny, and it just feels so concise and well-made. I listened to the darn thing a second time after my first listen on the same day because it's just that good (plus there is some serious re-listen value in this)! This absolutely slaps.

A Hilarious and Touching Story of Identity

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Brilliant. A must-listen!! So funny, full of references that will please football nerds and the loveliest, sweariest Nanna. So many little Easter eggs in the dialogue that made me smile, and I’m sure I probably didn’t catch half of them on first listen. Also absolutely in awe of Lucie voicing so many characters!! I felt teary at times listening to it, but it didn’t feel like a deliberate tear jerker or overly sentimental at all, it’s because the cast of characters and the story are written with such love. Can’t wait to re-listen and I might even treat myself to the script!

A joyful listen featuring the best sweary Nanna!!

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