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The Half-Assed Wizard Audiobook

The Half-Assed Wizard: Volume 1

Regular Price:£14.49
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Publisher's Summary

A couple of jerks wake me up at the crack of noon. Seems my klepto uncle stole an ancient deck of Tarot cards from a high-powered wizard, and too many losers want to ruin my day to get them back.

The cards are cool, so I check them out, but my magic-happy cousin, Sabrina, tells me I'm not supposed to touch them. Oops. Too late. Now the damn cards are tuned to me, and if someone else wants to use them, I have to die. Why couldn't she have led with that information?

Magic was never my scene, but my dad is one of the most powerful wizards in the world, so I've got unrealized potential if I ever bother to apply myself. I'd rather power nap, but with wizards, gunslingers, and cannibalistic shark dudes coming at me, that's not gonna happen.

They say I'm a half-assed wizard, but if I don't play my cards right, I'm gonna get my whole ass killed.

©2017 Gary Jonas (P)2017 Gary Jonas

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

3.7 (3 )
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3.7 (3 )
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4.0 (3 )
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Performance
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  •  
    C. Rowlands 18/10/2017
    C. Rowlands 18/10/2017
    HELPFUL VOTES
    11
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    29
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    "Fun and interesting start to a new series"

    The lead character Brett, is somewhat of a slacker, the third child of a powerful wizarding family and is fond of requesting explanations to anything to be in six words or less, so here's the six word version of my review:

    Fun book, good narration, enjoyable starting-point.

    While I enjoyed this book from the start and indeed went through it very quickly as it is not overly long either, I did think that the author may have laid it on a bit thick about just how lazy the main character was when that would obviously be changing by the end of the book.

    However, this minor issue did not detract from my overall enjoyment of the book and I will be looking out for subsequent books in the series.

    I had previously listened to a book with this narrator and like that one I found his performance to nicely enhance my opinion of the book, so another good job from him.

    I would recommend this book to fans of urban fantasy, particularly those who prefer their protagonist to have a bit of snark to them.


    [Note - I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.]

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    I. Fenton 24/09/2017
    I. Fenton 24/09/2017 Member Since 2017
    HELPFUL VOTES
    5
    ratings
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    262
    18
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    "Four and a half hours of fun."

    Both author and narrator are new to me but they certainly kept me entertained for four and a half hours with this wonderful Urban Fantasy. The main character was not one that I would normally enjoy at all, but somehow I found myself wanting him to succeed and beat the bad guys. I think that both the writer and the narrator were instumental in making me feel this way, and I'm not sure if I would have enjoyed the book half as much as I did, without Joe Hempel bringing Gary Jonas' words to life. I highly recommend both narrator and author to anyone looking for an entertaining, whimsical, and intense Urban Fantasy read.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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  • TU
    17/10/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Short but great beginning to a new series"

    I was given this free review copy audio book at my request and have voluntarily left this review.

    The Half-Assed Wizard was tremendously entertaining. I loved that the slacker of a main character is not given any, well, slack from his friends for being a likable, if lazy friend. I did feel it was too short, but it certainly left me wanting more. Joe Hempel is an awesome narrator and did not disappoint.

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  • Troublemer
    27/09/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Funny Funny!!"

    Wow! This was one funny book. It was full of surprises, action and humor. I could not stop laughing. Gary Jonas is a fantastic writer and Joe Hempel is fantastic with the narration. These two together are a "match made in heaven." I received this book free for an honest opinion. I did get it free but it would be worth a credit or the money you pay for it. I look forward to the next one. Keep up the good work.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Lomeraniel
    Spain
    24/09/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Fresh urban fantasy"

    Brett’s father is one of the most powerful wizards in the word, but Brett is just not interested in magic. He likes the easy life that comes with family money, and his expectations in life are none beyond playing with his band. One day Brett receives a mysterious package that will get him of of his comfort zone and in great danger. He will either have to change his ways or die.

    As a fan of Jonathan Shade’s adventures, I was looking forward to this book. Among all the epic fantasy books, finding gems like this urban fantasy book is simply refreshing. It is not that I don’t like epic fantasy, I love it, but sometimes characters and situations we can easily relate too are welcome. Gary Jonas writes very vivid and down to earth characters and great dialogs. His books have that fresh humor so difficult to find in fantasy books, and this is what makes them amazing and original.

    Brett is not an especially likable character, and that means that he will have to undergo an evolution, apart from using his cheecky techniques, to be able to save his bacon. This will make Brett an interesting character.

    The ending is somehow predictable, but I still enjoyed the ride. I was a funny and light listen, ideal for a lazy day. I wish the next book was already available.

    I really enjoyed Joe Hempel’s narration. He has wonderful character interpretation skills, inflicting the right amount of emotion, irony, and sarcasm. Hempel has a decent voice range and knows how to use in a subtle way, something important when narrating audiobooks. The best part is that he makes you forget that you are listening to a book, to the point that you feel part of the story.

    I received a copy of this book in audio format from the narrator in exchange for an honest review.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Rabid Reader
    18/09/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Entertaining and humorous"

    This is an quick, entertaining and amusing story. Brett is the third son of a powerful wizard, but he resents his families expectations and has sailed through life as a lazy, rich kid who would rather sleep, party and play music, than have anything to do with magic or work. His easy life is turned upside down when he opens a package his uncle sent and chaos ensues from then on. Generally Brett is an indolent, smartass who is only concerned with himself, but somehow you can not help but like him as he is reluctantly dragged into the wizarding business. Magic, ancient tarot cards, shark people and a meat eating rug, combined with lots of action and dry, sarcastic humour make the story both entertaining and fun. The narrator captures the characters well and he is a master at sarcasm. He easily pulls you into the fast paced action and humour of the story and brings it all to life. I enjoyed this engaging audiobook and will look forward to seeing how Brett and his magic progress in the next book.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Yvonne
    Southfield, mi, United States
    15/09/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Applaud Gary Jones has done it again!"

    Brett is a spoil little rich boy with daddy issues. He is the third child in a family of magicians. The birth order of being the third child was mentioned but not explained. He is the only family member who uses technology instead of magic. You must use an amount of your blood to activate your magic. His cousin bites inside of her cheek to use fire on her finger. Brett comes back with a Bic lighter. It offers more lights with no blood sacrifice.

    His is a band member who can only play three chords. He has a magical guitar pic that in imbue with magical properties. His laziness, is illustrates by not investing the time to learn how to play a guitar.

    Situations arise and Brett must meet the challenge or take a nap; yep he does choose to nap. Despite Brett’s views on magic, there is plenty of magical action. He is a character faced with an opportunity to grow up or shut up in the following books.

    There is a unique set of paranormal creatures called Mako Clansman. They are men who can swim, they are birthed from the water, and have shark’s teeth. There are vampires; his friend Michael is one. Micheal is so cool with his dark glasses and getting women hooked on him. His father is the most powerful wizard in the world and they cannot stand to be in the same room together.

    I got this book on Kindle free. I went to Audible to see if Gary Jonas had anything new when I noticed this on audio. I literally had the Kindle version open in my lap and ordered the audio to finish the story. I am currently reading the next on in the series on Kindle.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Deedra
    United States
    22/11/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Haf Assed wizard"

    Brett could be a powerful wizard,but he is too lazy.His dad has actually paid him to steer clear of family functions he seems to hate him so much for his choices.After dad ends his free loading days,Brett finds out how he has been manipulated by everyone.With the stolen Tarot cards still in his possesion,will he make a good or bad decision.Family will kill you.Joe Hempel was the perfect narrator.“I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator, or publisher.”

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • DabOfDarkness
    Ojo Caliente, NM, United States
    13/11/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Entertaining for light, silly read"

    This was a fast-paced, fun, and snarky wizarding tale. Brett Masters is way more interested in sleeping, attempting to make music with his band, and drinking than he is in family wizarding politics. He comes from a rich and powerful family and has never had to work for his keep. Things are about to be upended!

    I could totally picture Brett. I’ve known a few people like him stuck in that place of not contributing to anything so it was easy to get a feel for this main character right away. The entire story, I was rooting for him, hoping he’d get his feet under him and finally save the day.

    His cousin, Sabrina, showed a polar opposite to Brett. She hails from the same rich and powerful family, is an accomplished wizard herself, and is a motivational power, constantly pushing Brett to do something… anything, really. While she’s not our only female character, she is the main one. More than once she has to be rescued but she also spends a third of the time kicking butt.

    The shark men! Ack! These guys were a bit creepy. No one wants to tango with shark men… unless you’re a half-assed wizard that is pretty drunk and out of good options (like running away and hiding for half a century).

    There’s also Brett’s band. Michael was the one that stood out the most to me. He has dreamy vampire eyes that can melt the panties off of almost anyone. Unfortunately, his charm doesn’t work on powerful wizards like Brett’s dad or his main adversary. Michael does give Brett some much needed advice about living in the real world, but I think Brett was too drunk to take much of it in.

    There’s plenty of rock and roll references. I only caught some of them. I’m sure others will recognize songs, musicians, and the like. The enchanted guitar pick was a fun little tidbit.

    Overall, this tale is enjoyable. There’s not much character depth and the plot is pretty straight forward but the characters make it excellent brain candy. I look forward to the sequel! 4/5 stars.

    I received a free copy of this book.

    The Narration: Joe Hempel makes an excellent slacker Brett Masters. He has this perfect don’t give a flip attitude for this character. I also really liked his drunk Brett voice. His female voices were sometimes feminine and sometimes needed a little boost to sound like a woman. All his character voices were distinct. 4.5/5 stars.

    Audible 20 Review Sweepstakes Entry

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Michelle Titherington VanDaley
    06/11/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Funny & Captivating Read"

    This story was such an enjoyable listen. The sarcastic and somewhat immature thinking and actions of the male lead had me laughing out loud at points. The story was not all silly antics, at its core it was a story of finding and accepting yourself. The narrator's distinct charactor voices truly brought the story to life and I look forward to more in this series.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Sairaika
    South Africa
    24/10/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "A fun read!"

    They say I'm a half-assed wizard, but if I don't play my cards right, I'm gonna get my whole ass killed...

    Such a fun read that kept me entertained from start to finish. Loved the story. It was a perfect blend of humour of plot twists.

    Full of magic, wizards, humour and fun.

    Perfect narration for this entertaining read.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Heather North
    Indiana
    22/10/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Very funny"

    Wonderful listen. Brett is a smartass who never shuts up and it makes for some very funny listening. Excellent performance from the narrator! Really enjoyed listening to this and I look forward to the next book. I received a free review copy of this audiobook at my request and I have voluntarily left this review.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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