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The Course of Love cover art

The Course of Love

By: Alain de Botton
Narrated by: Julian Rhind-Tutt
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Summary

So many romances are focused on how two people come together and the hurdles they overcome, but what happens after you ride off into the sunset?

Penguin presents, the unabridged, downloadable audiobook edition of The Course of Love by Alain de Botton, read by Julian Rhind-Tutt.

Twenty years after his best-selling debut, Essays in Love, internationally acclaimed author Alain de Botton returns to fiction with a brilliant new novel about modern relationships.

What does it mean to live happily ever after?

At dinner parties and over coffee, Rabih and Kirsten's friends always ask them the same question: how did you meet? The answer comes easily - it's a happy story, one they both love to tell. But there is a second part to this story, the answer to a question their friends never ask: what happened next?

Rabih and Kirsten find each other, fall in love, get married. Society tells us this is the end of the story. In fact it is only the beginning. From the first thrill of lust to the joys and fears of real commitment to the deep problems that surface slowly over two shared lifetimes, this is the story of a marriage. It is the story of modern relationships and how to survive them.

Playful, wise and profoundly moving, The Course of Love is a delightful return to the novel by Alain de Botton, 20 years after his debut, Essays in Love.

©2016 Alain de Botton (P)2016 Penguin Audio

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The Course of 'A Marriage' - not Love

A male friend recommended this - said it was one of the best and most honest books he'd ever read on relationships and would be right up my street, so I gave it a bash. To be fair, I enjoyed it quite a lot. And was able to finish it. However, I was rather surprised by some of the choices Botton made in the narrative.

Spoilers below - ye have been warned.

First of all, perhaps Botton only wrote the book at the time as far as his own marriage had seen, but I felt that the story cut off a little early, and on an almost cynical note: Rabih is suddenly aware that This Is His Life, Kirsten and the kids and the job he never progressed as far as he wanted to in. Fair enough if that is what happens, but I wanted to know also, or at least get some heavy hints about what might happen as they got even older, at least up until the kids had left home and it was just them at home again. That would have been a real test. As it happens even as Bottom tries to save things at the end by saying Rabih finally thought of himself as lucky, I was reflecting just how much of the book had been written predominantly from Rabih's perspective, with his 'love', his wife Kirsten as a kind of sidekick who pops up a lot, as opposed to writing about two lovers.

Also, I'm afraid that I lost a lot of my sympathy for Rabih. Not because he had a one night stand, so much as he took the coward's way out and never told his wife. I assumed while I was reading of the infidelity - at which point I still sympathised with his character - that the next part of the book was going to entail the trials, negotiations and aggro that comes with a family recovering from unfaithfulness. That would have been a very worthwhile chapter or two for a work with this particular title. To my amazement, he explains to his fling that he was wrong and can't commit to anything long term, of course, but then that is the last we hear of the fact he's cheated on Kirsten, mother to his kids. I kept waiting for her to find out and for that to be addressed, but was disappointed it wasn't. As a Femme, I daren't wonder if that is because most men would simply do the deed and then copy Rabih's example as a matter of course, in which they never own up to their spouse, but it honestly did put me off a lot of the rest of their relationship, because it was based on dishonesty, cowardliness and lies. So I'm afraid I got less out of it than I might have done if Rabih'd admitted his transgression and he and she had worked on patching up their marriage and love following that.

Lastly, as per the two issues above, I didn't really see this as a study on the course of love, but rather of the first ten-fifteen years of a relationship. Which would have been fine. 'How To Be Married' or something along those lines, would have served better. I'm sure Botton is of the school of 'love is little, trivial things as well', and he's not wrong, but I thought it was still too strong a word for the title. No, I wasn't expecting a romantic love story; just something, perhaps, that gave me a little more faith in humanity given how much we treasure the word Love.

Honestly, though, I enjoyed a lot of it. However, I will also readily admit that I'm not rushing out to get any more Botton work just at the moment...

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Sublime

A beautiful, gentle, deeply insightful telling of love and its complications which left me feeling hopeful about relationships and the possibilities of understanding (and forgiving) ourselves and others. A must to all who want to have eyes open when committing to another.

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Brilliant

As a man, 38, who has experienced some mid marriage frustrations and awakenings, this may well be the best book I've ever read. If not the best it could be the most important.
As usual, de botton de bunks and makes accessible lots of philosophical and pyschological theory and lays it out in a very listenable, fun and enjoyable story format resembling mostly attenborough's trials of life.
It is possibly a little leant towards the male protagonist, but I would assume this book would be an eye opener for females and males alike.
The reader never appears pompous and delivers the text with at times the mearest wry smile.

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Great lessons

Great story. Only bad point is that some parts are whispered really soft followed by loud narrative

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Not for me

The story is sparse and the narrator is the main voice - rather like a social education teacher with a class of twelve-year-olds (apart from the frequent sexual violent language).
The main message of the book seems to be that women should accept the flaws in their partner with saint - like patience whilst accepting adultery as normal and not be hurt by it.
The performance will be fine if you aren't actually Scottish or been to Scotland. The pronunciation of place names is sometimes awkward and simply wrong at other times

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You wont regret reading this!

Any additional comments?
I found this book beautifully written and narrated. Eloquent, poetic, light hearted and also enlightening! One of the most interesting things I took away from this book was reminder that each of us have deep rooted behaviours and ideals that we may not know we have, and may not have thought about where they came from but of which can start as reasons we love/like/are drawn to a person, and then also turn into reasons we feel disconnected from that same person. Our behaviours and ideals may be very different from that of others', even those closest to us (who understand us the most). The book reminded me to show compassion at time when I understand others' behaviour the least.

I have sent copied of this book to a number of good friends. A wonderful entertaining and thought provoking read!

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Should be compulsory reading for anyone in a relationship!

I absolutely loved this book. Botton has a skill for stating things that we all struggle to put into words. I felt like I learned so much from this book, I loved the characters, but even more I loved the helpful passages about relationships and the parts that nobody seems to talk about. Brilliant book!

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A sublime little book.

This book can in my mind, be considered as a bright light in the darkness.

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Invigorating and grounding all at once

I'm extremely grateful for this humbling narrative, I feel educated, inspired and hopeful. A comedically astute text.

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Everyone should listen to this book

This book is wonderfully written and a real insight to the highs and lows of relationships. so much information presented in a heartwarming story made even better by the narrators beautiful voice

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