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Here Be Sexist Vampires cover art

Here Be Sexist Vampires

By: Suzanne Wright
Narrated by: Justine Eyre,P.J. Ochlan
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Summary

Sam Parker is a vampire with a gift so strong and substantial that she is invited to partake in a test for a place in the Grand High Master Vampire's private army. She finds that not only has the army never included a woman, but it has never included a Svente vampire; a breed that is regarded by the super strong Pagori breed and the hypnotically beautiful Keja breed to be too tame and human-like.

Most refuse to take her seriously, especially a Pagori commander named Jared who she craves in spite of herself. The Grand High Master, however, sees her potential and offers her the position of Jared's co-commander to help train the newest squad in time for the impending attack on his home. Sam has to demonstrate to Jared and the squad of chauvinists why it is incredibly foolish to underestimate a wilful, temperamental, borderline-homicidal Svente female.

©2012 Suzanne Wright (P)2018 Tantor

What listeners say about Here Be Sexist Vampires

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Downfalls of multiple narrators

So disappointed with the narration. Justine Eyre uses BBC English but pronounces several words using American pronunciation. Also when Sam the heroine is being read by Justine Eyre she has a BBC English accent most of the time with occasional cockney , when P.J Ochlan is narrating Sam has a cockney accent. I think I will just read the hard copy.

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12 people found this helpful

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The Irony Isn't Lost On Me

I was expecting to go into this book and read from an annoyingly POP/ girlboss "feminist" perspective. I enjoy reading books written by people who think differently to me. I was shocked to read this book that contains the most misogynistic female main character, which is supposed to play this feminist icon. Sam says things like "I have more balls than you," and "you're dating a twig who doesn't even make up for it with boobs." Sam only befriends guys, while alienating and dismissing any female. Befriending men and only men is not an issue, for I only really have male friends. The issue is the way she looks at other females and does not engage with them in civil conversation; she always insults (directly or indirectly)

Also, the author uses the protagonist's sexual abuse story as a way to gain pity and glorify the abusive relationship she is about to enter into. The author uses rape as a plot driver, which is fundamentally wrong on many levels. One of them being that it glamorizes rape. Girls will read this and subconsciously think to themselves that rape or sexual abuse is the only way to progress socially in life.

In addition, the love interest is extremely misogynistic. Not misogynistic by modern standards--this would make even a Shakespearian audience wince. At the beginning of the book, he thinks that Sam will not pass the trials because she's the only female in history and because she is one of the weaker races of vampires. Although the view is bigoted, it's understandable. Competitive sports are usually separated by gender because males tend to have higher scores due to their larger muscle mass. Also, being of a weaker race puts Sam in a double disadvantage. Throughout the trials, the love interest belittles Sam and treats her as well as the dirt beneath his feet. At the end of the competition, Sam clearly shows that she is more than capable of the position offering (the trials are a test and whoever wins gets a job offering). The love interest ignores this completely, admits that he would have given her the position were she male. I understand this book is supposed to show character development of the love interest, but people can only change so much. I doubt that by the end of these book series he would have improved much, judging by the writing style. Another thing I forgot to mention above is that the love interest also views women as his own toy. He views them purely as sexual objects, which he may have gotten away with, were it not for his insufferable misogynistic attitude.

I also despised the portrayal of gay people in this book. We're introduced to a gay guy a couple of chapters in and he is a walking, talking stereotype. It's one thing making a gay guy feminine, a whole other thing making him into a cookie-cutter character. He is immediately shown as promiscuous and 'flamboyant.' This may just piss me off because I'm bi and sick of LGBT people being presented as these sex-crazed toys straight people use. You can also see that as soon as Sam sees him, she wants him to be her GBF, although, to the author's credit, does not say in those precise words. The concept behind a GBF is a form of mild homophobia because it portrays gay people as these fun toys to play with when you're bored of your straight friends.

A small pet peeve of mine also popped up in this book: inaccurate portrayal of English people. This was actually funny because English culture was so stereotyped and exaggerated; it was comical. All my English folk will understand what I mean!

Overall, I'd like to say that I do not think the author is sexist or homophobic but the way her characters behave can give that impression. I did not finish the book, so if anything in the review is wrong, forgive me, I just couldn't stand it. Finally, I apologize if I came across as ultra-POP/ girlboss "feminist" (corrupted meaning) it's just that this book was so undeniably sexist; I couldn't contain myself.

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9 people found this helpful

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I loved it.

Fun to listen while driving to summerhouse for holiday. 2 storytellers were good thing. Clear english even for foregner.

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5 people found this helpful

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Suzanne Wright has written another amazing series,

I have read almost every book that Suzanne Wright has written and as soon as is possible I have purchased her books in audiobook form. A mixture of her talented writing and well chosen voice actors who have a good range and pleasant voices have so far made me thoroughly enjoy every audiobook that I have.
Let’s talk characters. As with her other books, Here Be Sexist Vampires had a wealth of wonderful characters. We have our feisty, interesting, and beautiful leading lady, Sam and our stubborn, sexy but apparently sexist, leading man Jared. Then we have an absolute stellar cast of other personalities.

Sam is approached to leave her abusive sire and try out become a member of the Grand High Masters (vampire) army. Unusually Sam is a Sventé vampire, her type of vampire is generally considered to be the lowest on the totem pole and the type of breed that is tamest and appears more human, and of course she is a woman. Two things that are unheard of in the Grand High Masters army. Sam, along with a selection of other vamps try out to join the army. Unlike Sam the other vampires trying out are all male and either the Pagori breed that are regarded as super strong, or the hypnotically beautiful Keja breed.
Sam is mocked upon sight and as she makes it further and further through the trials the comments are nothing short of amazed that a female Sventé is triumphing as others fail. Despite her incredible talent and power Jared does not choose her to become a member of the army.

Luckily for Sam the Grand High Master sees her as having more potential that a soldier and makes her a Commander, tasked with working as a team with Jared to prepare the troops. Jared, predictably does not take this news well.

Sam is such a wonderfully feisty character who takes rubbish from no one and she regularly made me smile throughout the book. There are so many likeable, amusing, strong and interesting characters that I would be typing all day if I attempted to cover them all. The amazing thing is the the two voice actors that narrated this book were outstanding on all of those characters, managing to express so much personality and attitude. Justine Eyre, and P.J. Ochlan are the Female and Male voice actors narrating this book and they are incredibly skilled.

As soon as I finished this audiobook I came onto Audible and purchased the second audiobook in the Deep In Your Veins series and pre-ordered the third

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4 people found this helpful

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Loved it!

Can’t wait the next. Great story so much more in it than your usual vampire stories.

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    4 out of 5 stars

Love the book , narration not so good !

Ok so I love Suzanne Wright's books & usually score 5 stars such an awesome writer but the narration of the female character 'Sam' was awful. It almost put me off continuing to listen which would have been a shame as the story is great , the so called 'British Accent' was just so bad, like a mix of bad bbc English, messed up cockney & a twang of Australian / American. The male Narration was great no problem there, I'm going to buy book 2 in this series, i just hope to goodness the Narration is better. I've listened to more than a dozen of Wright's books this one was the only one I have had a problem with so far !

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3 people found this helpful

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Loved it!

I have enjoyed everything I've read by this author and the two narrators do a good job with it. The usual feisty, strong heroine as in all Suzanne's stories with a wit that makes me laugh out loud.

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Fabulous 😁

great from start to finish, funny, i laughed out loud alot. i would highly recommend it.

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    2 out of 5 stars

loved the book, hated the narration

I read this book a while ago, and thought I'd give the audio book a try, I've listened up to part of chapter 2, but have had to stop because my ears started to bleed, as the narration was terrible,

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Here be Sexist Vampires

This is a funny story with lots of attitude, about two Vamps fighting their attraction for each other. While battling a take over. Read brilliantly by Justine Eyre and P. J. Ochlan.

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