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Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou Audiobook

Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou: The Tome of Bill Series: Books 1-4

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Publisher's Summary

There are reasons we fear the dark. Bill Ryder...isn't one of them. Gamer, geek, and legendary vampire - The Tome of Bill is the tale of an unlikely hero trying to survive in a world of undead horrors. Despite awesome supernatural powers, loyal allies, and an attitude the size of Brooklyn, the odds are still stacked heavily against him. Bill Ryder must fulfill his destiny and save the world from the ancient terrors that threaten it - all while trying to work up the nerve to ask out the girl of his dreams.

©2013 Rick Gualtieri (P)2015 Rick Gualtieri

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.5 (113 )
5 star
 (70)
4 star
 (31)
3 star
 (8)
2 star
 (2)
1 star
 (2)
Overall
4.4 (107 )
5 star
 (65)
4 star
 (30)
3 star
 (8)
2 star
 (3)
1 star
 (1)
Story
4.5 (107 )
5 star
 (64)
4 star
 (33)
3 star
 (8)
2 star
 (1)
1 star
 (1)
Performance
Sort by:
  •  
    Peter Sweeney Durham 23/05/2016
    Peter Sweeney Durham 23/05/2016 Member Since 2015
    HELPFUL VOTES
    7
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    10
    5
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
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    Story
    "Bill rules!"

    Not only is this four books for the price of one, but it's more importantly four superb books!

    The characters are really likeable, the humour is great and the story lines are surprising and well thought out! Can't recommend it enough and can't wait to get the next book either!

    If I could find any negatives, the recap bits explaining what has happened in previous books is a tad annoying at times (maybe because I listened to them one after another) but also because why would you read/listen to book two, three or four without reading the previous!

    4 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Helen Ingall England 17/04/2016
    Helen Ingall England 17/04/2016 Member Since 2014
    HELPFUL VOTES
    15
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    28
    21
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    3
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "bill series"

    Loved it a great listen to and easy to follow with twists and turns all the way. cannot wait hear the next episode.

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Peter 28/09/2016
    Peter 28/09/2016 Member Since 2016
    HELPFUL VOTES
    10
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    8
    4
    FOLLOWERS
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    0
    0
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    Story
    "fantastic and fun."

    I enjoyed every minute of every book. Some great nerd culture references and well sustained humour as well as some kick ass fight scenes. These characters have become, as all the great ones do, good friends of mine. looking forwards to the next on the list.

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kristian Koivisto-Kokko 15/01/2018 Member Since 2016
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    57
    2
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Might have a story, but doesn’t have class"

    I only got 4-5 hours in before feeling I’ve had enough of the writing. The story feels like it could go somewhere, but I can’t keep listening to this childish geek bro writing, thinking with your genitals and calling women whores and bitches constantly.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Steve Leyden 11/01/2018
    Steve Leyden 11/01/2018 Member Since 2016
    HELPFUL VOTES
    7
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    166
    28
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
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    Performance
    Story
    "The tome of Bill"

    Great concept and storyline, very funny in places, and well developed characters. I loved this book and am about to start listening to the second in the series, my only complaint is that the narration is much too fast, it's like the publishers have said to the narrator that they are paying by the hour so don't waste time breathing.
    I highly recommend this book, I just wish the narrator would slow down a bit.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    simon norwich norfolk uk 20/12/2017
    simon norwich norfolk uk 20/12/2017 Member Since 2018
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    6
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Excellent read"
    Where does Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

    New author to me but I have found him very entertaining. A light heart dark story which flows very well


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    andy c 31/08/2017
    andy c 31/08/2017 Member Since 2014
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    9
    9
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "brilliant witty and funny"

    great book funny witty and brilliant. well worth it such an enjoyable book with likeable characters.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jeff united kingdom 24/07/2017
    Jeff united kingdom 24/07/2017 Member Since 2018
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    22
    20
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "totally awesome "
    What made the experience of listening to Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou the most enjoyable?

    the writing of the book is just well class it is funny, nerdy, childish and entertaining all at the same time


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    sally is a awesome bitch


    What about Christopher John Fetherolf’s performance did you like?

    just down right narrated like omg


    If you made a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

    nerd meets the darkness


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Shoghun South Yorkshire 05/07/2017
    Shoghun South Yorkshire 05/07/2017 Member Since 2014
    HELPFUL VOTES
    2
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    14
    7
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Hilarious and Annoying at the same time!"

    This is a great value collection that's a must for fans of fantasy and comedy. The story of a geek being turned into a vampire is original and very funny albeit frustrating at times. I often found myself angry at Bill's stupidity but I guess that just shows the author's skill at drawing you in and believing the character created.

    As an Englishman, I find listening to an American narrator a little difficult and can believe that the same is true for listeners across the pond listening to a British accented narrator. I'm not saying that it wasn't performed well, it was but I found the American accent difficult to listen to and a little unemotional at times.

    Overall it was very enjoyable and I found myself laughing out loud a number of times. An entertaining buy and one I would recommend.

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    BJXRN 18/06/2017
    BJXRN 18/06/2017
    HELPFUL VOTES
    15
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    12
    6
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    1
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    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Story OK but humor unsophisticated and crude"
    Is there anything you would change about this book?

    Less crude underpanties-humor. For that reason stopped listening early.


    Would you be willing to try another book from Rick Gualtieri? Why or why not?

    No. Authors tend to be consistent in their language and humor.


    Could you see Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou being made into a movie or a TV series? Who would the stars be?

    The percentage of people who can identify with the hero is small. Single gamers mainly.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
Sort by:
  • Bill Bucket
    18/11/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "How the books are divided inside:"
    Any additional comments?

    If, like me you listened to the first and/or second book before seeing or wanting this omnibus edition here is how the books are divided, so you can skip to the new material:

    Book 1 - Starts on Chapter 01
    Book 2 - Starts on Chapter 28
    Book 3 - Starts on Chapter 54
    Book 4 - Starts on Chapter 95

    Should save some skipping around and accidentally getting any spoilers. Very funny books, I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

    47 of 47 people found this review helpful
  • Tom
    25/05/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Stay away"

    1 part was ok then the 2 was a grind 3 I didn't finish The character had plenty of time to grow up and develop book 2 book and 3 a nightmare I had to force myself to listen to it worst vampire book ever that I came across the first book gave a lot of hope and the rest is just not worth even mentioning

    4 of 5 people found this review helpful
  • Cris
    23/06/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Thanks for killing the Edward Image!!!"
    What made the experience of listening to Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou the most enjoyable?

    A flawed 'Hero' Love Bill and Sally team!! Not for the easily offended, delicate female sensibilities. Tired of seeing women bag on this book. I only read books with strong female characters and this has it!! Bill is a pawn in play and the toughest women are running the show.


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    Sally!! People that complains about the way women are viewed fails to embrace the fact that the character with the most brains and balls in this book is one. If you don't like the strong kick a** female who embraces he inner b**ch go back to waiting for your big strong Edward to save you and being tied up with gray things, eye roll.


    What does Christopher John Fetherolf bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    Brings out the goof in Bill perfect.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    Visit from my second favorite kick a** female Gan. What would Bill be without those frisky she vamps in his afterlife?


    Any additional comments?

    What a refreshing escape from the offended by every little thing world and media. This book is thankfully not politically correct thank goodness.

    4 of 5 people found this review helpful
  • Bartleby the Scrivener
    Indanapolis, IN United States
    21/10/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Problems with the narrator"
    Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?

    I would recommend this to friends, while advising them of pronunciation issues.


    What didn’t you like about Christopher John Fetherolf’s performance?

    The narrator's performance is great in terms of cadence, inflection, and keeping the story moving, but he's sorely lacking in areas of pronunciation. For example, 'voila' is pronounced 'voi-la', not 'vio-la' (like the musical instrument), 'Tatooine' (Luke Skywalker's home planet) is pronounced, 'Tattoo-een', not 'Tattoo-knee.' 'Caste' (the word referring to the methods of formal social stratification in some countries and groups) rhymes with 'cast' and not 'cased.'

    If you're going to narrate professionally, get a copy of the NBC Handbook, Fowler's Modern English Usage, or The Big Book of Beastly Mispronunciations first.


    Any additional comments?

    Overall, it's a very good story, but the narrator's mispronunciation turns it from a nice five star experience to a high three or low four star experience.

    23 of 32 people found this review helpful
  • TU
    10/04/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "I very much enjoyed this book"
    Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

    In short, yes. I already recommended this audiobook to a couple of friends who have similar taste in books.


    What did you like best about this story?

    I loved the irreverent nature of the book and enjoyed the combination of the main character's internal monologue and story.


    Which character – as performed by Christopher John Fetherolf – was your favorite?

    Obviously, Bill would be a favorite. After all, he's the Free Will, and the main character. I really enjoyed several characters, though, as the narrator did a great job of bringing the characters to life.


    Who was the most memorable character of Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou and why?

    I loved the friends that Bill surrounds himself with. The love/hate relationship with Sally, the stoic, borderline sociopath Eric, the annoying moron, Tom... loved them all.


    Any additional comments?

    I really enjoyed this series and will definitely pick the rest of them up, even though they aren't in a boxed set.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • ROBERT A. DALUZ
    22/03/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Love, love these books!!"
    What made the experience of listening to Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou the most enjoyable?

    They are laugh out loud funny! From the first few sentences I was hooked! I had to buy the whole series. I love the narrator he sounds just like what I imagine Bill would be like.


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    Of course it's Bill. I enjoy his smart aleck quips and come backs.


    What does Christopher John Fetherolf bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    He brings the book and Bill to life! He is great! How he reads this book was one reason I bought the whole series.


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    Not only the book but the whole series! I have a long stressful commute to work and back and listening to this series helps a lot to get away from it all. I probably look like a crazy person sitting in my car alone in traffic laughing.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • erobbins33
    14/10/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Epic!"
    If you could sum up Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou in three words, what would they be?

    Holy freaking awesome!


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou?

    The Feet! And omg, TURD! Ahahahah!


    Which character – as performed by Christopher John Fetherolf – was your favorite?

    See above, Turd. So effing funny! Loved Bill ad Sally, too.


    Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    LOTS of laughs in this series!


    Any additional comments?

    Gamers will LOVE this series!

    3 of 4 people found this review helpful
  • JENNIFER BACKUS
    Manitowoc, Wisconsin United States
    04/08/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Can't do it!"

    I downloaded this book because it was 30 some hours for one credit and I like to get my money's worth... And now I want my money back.
    Everyone is entitled to their opinion and here's mine.
    The story was boring, the characters were cardboard, the narrator made me want to scratch my ears off.
    I can handle sarcasm but not unfunny useless sarcasm constantly thrown around. And how many times can a guy call a woman "bitch" and think it's funny?
    I listened about three hours then realized I had just scratched the surface and had no interest in seeing what came next (probably not too much). Will be returning this book in the morning.

    7 of 10 people found this review helpful
  • HE who SMILES
    08/05/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Immature garbage"

    The title should have given it away, but I got suckered in by good reviews. Wasted credit. And OH GOD I rather listen to Steven King then this VA!

    4 of 6 people found this review helpful
  • DonDiva
    Phoenix, AZ
    30/10/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "more more more"

    vampire Bill is my fave. keep brining him back but make him smart enough to have some kind of weapon this time...lol kidding bring him back anyway you want but bring him back...Bravo to the author and the voice of Bill well done

    4 of 6 people found this review helpful

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