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Summary

Life has a way of provoking us with traffic jams and computer malfunctions, with emotionally distant partners and crying children - and before we know it, we're upset. We feel terrible, and then we end up saying and doing things that only make matters worse. But it doesn't have to be that way, says Pema Chödrön. It is possible to relate constructively to the inevitable shocks, losses, and frustrations of life so that we can find true happiness. The key, Pema explains, is not biting the "hook" of our habitual responses. In this recorded weekend retreat, Pema draws on Buddhist teachings from The Way of the Bodhisattva to reveal how we can:

  • Stay centered in the midst of difficulty
  • Improve stressful relationships
  • Step out of the downward spiral of self-hatred
  • Awaken compassion for ourselves and others

©2018 Pema Chödrön (P)2018 Random House Audio

What listeners say about Don't Bite the Hook

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So happy to have it in my library!

I'm in awe with Pema Chodron's ease of explaining concepts and her humour. I have a feeling it's one of those multi-layer books that you get back to over and over always with new understanding of what was mentioned.

6 people found this helpful

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wow... excellent

I really needed this and it covered all the bases. definitely a must listen to again. pema as always in her great style delivers the message

6 people found this helpful

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Excellent life guidance.

We all need help with managing our reactions to everyday situations. This shows that by working with the small stuff we can train in our ability to be resilient when the big stuff happens.

5 people found this helpful

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Helpful

Insightful and great explanation to Shantideva's teachings. Wonderful guidance on how to work with anger and other negative emotions

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Excellent book

I loved this book. Pema Chodrun has a lovely voice. She is calm, practical and makes Buddhism easy
to apply. My favourite is her ‘ two minute ‘ recommendation!!

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Amazing, truly wonderful listen. so wise, so funny

This is a great production of Pena Chodron take on Anger and suffering. Funny Wise

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A calming effect.

This should be a teaching for all adolescents and early adulthood. Many people go through life not knowing how to handle, deal with Anger and resentment. And sometimes we learn this destructive pattern later on. It's the old teaching of love your enemy, turn the other cheek. Makes
great sense but hard to practice. It takes concious effort.
I shall refer back to this everytime my buttons are being pressed. And as painful as it is to accept. I always have a choice, ignoring is Not enough, but forgiving. Serious, and lightly humoured.


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Very confusing

More hindering than helping? Did not have a clue what they were going on about!

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Hooked

Love Pema. Very inspiring . Looking forward to being less hooked. Reduce crowd volume

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  • Eduard Georgiev
  • 01-06-20

Useful and practical, but extreme and illogical

There are a lot of good things said in the book about managing anger and a lot of useful tips, insights and perspectives. At many times it was eye opening. The deductions made in this book, no matter how warped, contain a good deal of life lessons.

Nevertheless, the book tends to be extreme in it's advice and illogical in it's reasoning. The author suggests to stay calm even in extreme situations, like someone spitting in your face. The reasoning being that you won't get angry at the wind blowing something in your face, then that somehow means that it's indicated to get angry at the person, which is a huge logical fallacy. Getting angry at the wind will change nothing. Getting angry at the person can help you defend yourself, show that person that his behavior is not acceptable and stand up for yourself, stand up against violence, etc. True, there are better tools than anger, and nothing is worse than you becoming the aggressor, but it's just as bad to just sit there and take it, as it encourages the behavior of the person doing this to you.

Another point raised by the book is that we suffer because of our bad karma, inherited from previous lives. Not only does this reasoning rely on an ideology to which few subscribe to, but it's putting unnecessary blame on you and makes you feel like you have something to make up for (and thus you should take your punishment). Not only that but in some people to will cause them to think that all suffering they are subjected to - they deserve. This is very backwards thinking, the truth is that if you're suffering - you and only you are responsible for that and you can stop it so take action now.

As far as empathy goes - being empathetic for someone who's angry at you will rarely work, simply because that person has already rejected you and connecting with such a person is a mammoth task, although it depends on many things. It's always worth a try to diffuse a situation, but know your limits and don't let others walk on you or disrespect you, since you are only human that can be very very damaging.

19 people found this helpful

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  • Barbara J
  • 09-12-18

always inspiring

In a world filled with so many things that can "hook" us, Pema Chodron teaches us how NOT to bite the hook. Very liberating!

8 people found this helpful

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  • michael demangone
  • 13-02-20

Vintage Pema!👍🙏

This was quite a treat. As Pema herself led the narrative in a conference style! Where she dissected some Buddhist teachings that I never would’ve understood without her interpretations! She breaks things down too simple and understandable and relatable instruction! Vintage Pema! She has the ability to explain things in such a humanistic and practical way. And she interjects such great humor at the same time! I just love her!

6 people found this helpful

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  • Frederick Stewart
  • 13-02-20

It is a nice long Dharma talk

It was a very informative, enlightening Dharma talk. Not an audiobook but still very good.

6 people found this helpful

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  • Tawanda
  • 22-04-18

Owner's manual for being human

Reading this book was like finding my Owner's manual for being human. It reminds us all how alike we are and how we can ease our own suffering as well as that of others.

6 people found this helpful

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  • Edie Pier
  • 10-04-19

Reads well, enlightening, and informative

Reads like a lecture so it is very easy listening. I enjoyed most the question and answer session at the end of the audio. This book provides real answers and real tools that are changing my life.

5 people found this helpful

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  • Sue Gambill-Read
  • 25-08-18

Pema is my valium

She keeps me from being dark, morose and combative in my life. I can dip into any of her talks and get recentered.

17 people found this helpful

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  • Kimm Harris
  • 23-05-18

Always learning from Pema

No matter how many times I listen to this book, I learn. Thanks to Pema for making these teachings so much more available to me.

I like that Pema reads her work.

11 people found this helpful

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  • Sequoya
  • 18-11-19

Masterful!

Pema is a supreme educator that takes us into a powerful journey...hate and anger are “unmasked” and the need to run away from “them” will vanish. This is 3 hours of pure wisdom for all ages! Prepare yourself to listen to this course hundreds of times.

4 people found this helpful

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  • Melissa
  • 11-07-18

Short but packed with wisdom

I checked this out from the library a few years ago and was happy to find it on audible. I do not have a background in Buddhist thought and that was not a hindrance. I enjoyed Pema Chodron's delivery and her sense of humor shines through.

4 people found this helpful