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Summary

"It had been hours since I ran at track practice that winter, but I hadn't bothered to shower, let alone change clothes. No, I didn't have time for that, because I had found the answer to my prayers.

"This has to be it.

"Eat all the fruit you want.

"Never get fat.

"Raw. Food. Diet."

Rachael Steil clocked in as an All-American collegiate runner; she became a girl clawing for a comeback on a 30-bananas-a-day diet. This year-long struggle with raw food ended when she realized she had to find her self-respect beyond her identity as a successful runner on a perfect diet.

Running in Silence opens the door on the secret world of eating disorders. It provides vital insights for those who don't suffer from this disease and an honest and harrowing personal story for those who do. Steil challenges the stigma of eating disorders, looks past appearance, and dives into the heart of obsession.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your Library section along with the audio.

©2016 Rachael Rose Steil (P)2017 Rachael Rose Steil

What members say

Average customer ratings

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

An okay story, not really sure of it's way

The descriptions of Rachel's descent in to disordered eating and orthorexia was interesting, but I felt like the author wasn't really sure what she was trying to say, and so the book itself meandered and didn't really have a clear structure. The chapters asked questions that I'm not convinced the author knows the answer to.

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  • Tabitha
  • 26-07-17

Heartfelt, engaging story dragged down by author narration

Author narration rarely works. I can always tell when the author is reading their own work by the emotionless, flat recitation. I know that people who have experienced the struggles themselves want to add the personal element of narration but it just doesn't work. That said, the story was interesting, sad, and heartfelt. A professional narrator or actor would have really done the story justice and portrayed the emotions and beautiful writing so well. I am happy to read a book that attacks these fad diets; fruitarianism, paleo, etc...I've seen them completely take over people's lives when people are under the impression they are doing something for their health and longevity and get completely fixated.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Allison
  • 10-06-18

So pure, so raw....so honest and inspirational!

Once I started I couldn't put it down. I felt every emotion and was moved and inspired by the courage and tenacity Rachael exuded! Must read!

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  • High Mileage ED
  • 19-03-18

Need more athlete ED books like this

Would you listen to Running in Silence again? Why?

I really enjoyed the book and I thought you delivered it perfectly. I prefer to listen to books read by the author, as it's more authentic and they read it with their own emotion, to which you did not disappoint. So, kudos for the effort. And I especially liked the reflection notes at the end of each chapter, I hope you do this for your next book (and I look forward to reading that one as well).

What was one of the most memorable moments of Running in Silence?

I am newly discovering of my eating disorder. While some of your experiences are different and honestly in some cases I thought to myself 'wow, that's a bit extreme...' However, you would certainly say the same to some of mine as I am very OCD and am a avid long distance cyclist and runner. I've done some incredible challenges over the years from running ultramarathons to solo double centuries on the bike. And through those beautiful and inspiring challenges, I've done some very stupid and damaging things to my body (and mind). I used to pride myself on "punishing myself" for the sake of perfection. I have experience with most of the diets you mentioned in your book vegan, raw, fruitarian, vegetarian, etc. I've done them all. And I found myself laughing to your comments while running that you felt had this "super power" becuase of your diet, becuase I often felt the same thing when I was active in those.

What about Rachael Rose Steil’s performance did you like?

Authentic, and one of a kind. Lots of info on ED but not on Orthorexia, especially from an athlete perspective.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

Within the last few months, I started intermittent fasting (IF) where I wouldn't eat on Monday & Wednesdays and would restrict calories, especially on days where I wanted to eat something I considered junk (a burger, slice of cake, pancakes). So others would see me eating chocolate chip pancakes and would say things like "He can eat that because he's going to ride 100 miles on his bike tomorrow." When honestly, I'm not putting in much miles anymore, but eating disorder can easy hide behind my reputation. Your book made me keenly aware of this actually. And the biggest concern is recently, I become so addicted to maintaining weight #'s, like it literally sets my mood for the day. But when I see photos of myself, I'm honestly am a bit embarrassed. Slave to the scale but not proud of what I am becoming. And with the IF, I find the starvation, calorie restriction, then high intense activity ends up causing binge eating on the weekends, where I become so upset about the weight gain on Monday morning, I start all over again. Many of your examples in your book, helped to open my eyes to this.

Any additional comments?

So now, my recovery begins. Can't thank you enough for sharing your story and helping me understand more of my condition. We are not alone.

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  • christy
  • 27-12-17

Why do authors narrate their own story?

I couldn’t finish due to the horrible narration. It sounded like a person just learning to read out loud was telling the story,
The story was focuses on fruit and how that’s all she eats . I might’ve been able to finish if the narration was better.
Boo!

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  • Sharon Hecker
  • 20-12-17

GREAT STORY, Listen on 1.5x speed

This is a powerful story! I listened to this book on 1.5x speed because the more I listened, the more I was sucked in by Rachael’s struggle and the faster I wanted to hear what she felt, attempted, or discovered next. At times I felt like I was hearing her thoughts as my own, and it gave me a real appreciation for the eating disorder that she had formed and her battle to conquer it. I highly recommend this book to runners, coaches, anyone who has struggled with food, and anyone who doesn’t know what it is like to struggle with food. The story is genuine and relatable because, even though it is a self-help book, it isn’t written like an instruction manual on how to fix yourself. It tells the story of Rachael’s struggle with food, things she tried, what masked the issue, and what steps actually moved her forward in the right direction. Highly recommend!

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  • Mary
  • 17-07-17

I'm not a runner, but...

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Yes! I already have, and she purchased it on her Kindle. This is a great story about diving into something that seems like a good idea (a diet) that slowly takes over and smothers your ability to live the life you want. Even though I am not a runner, I have struggled with my eating disorder and disordered eating habits for almost half my life. This book really touched on the fact that an eating disorder can come from many different places in life, but the struggle for perfection and control is something we almost all have in common.

Who was your favorite character and why?

Her coach was my favorite because he was supportive without be accusative, and he focused on her attitude as a person towards her teammates and herself, rather than her ability to run or her eating disorder. He encouraged and rewarded her for her spirit and personality instead of accomplishments and trophies.

Which character – as performed by Rachael Rose Steil – was your favorite?

She only really spoke as herself, but I enjoyed her voice.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

Both actually. I cried because I could hear parts of myself that I knew, and also parts of myself that I didn't want to admit I had. I laughed because (in a weird way), her eating disorder behaviors somewhat mimicked mine and I couldn't believe I was hearing someone else say it (let alone in a book).

Any additional comments?

Thank you so much for sharing your story! Even though the background and premise are different, eating disorders aren't frequently spoken about. And your incorporation of internet triggers and personal struggles and triumphs are refreshing.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 16-06-17

Interesting format. Well written & well read.

What made the experience of listening to Running in Silence the most enjoyable?

I love that the author was the narrator of the book. It held me interest & made me think.

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  • 1980sfan
  • 12-05-17

Thank you Ms Steil

What did you love best about Running in Silence?

An ingenious talented young woman who is so insightful. I play this audiobook over and over, and find it so comforting. Presents new insights and answers I have not heard before. The book also presents structured ideas (I know as a perfectionist I long for structure) to help the reader develop his or her own self care or writer's voice.

Have you listened to any of Rachael Rose Steil’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

Looking forward to future books from this wonderful author.