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  • Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare

  • How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself
  • By: Shahida Arabi
  • Narrated by: Julie McKay
  • Length: 19 hrs and 53 mins
  • 4.0 out of 5 stars (127 ratings)
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Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare cover art

Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare

By: Shahida Arabi
Narrated by: Julie McKay
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Summary

Although clinical research has been conducted on narcissism as a disorder, less is known about its effects on victims who are in toxic relationships with partners with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Individuals with this disorder engage in chronic devaluation and manipulation of their partners, a psychological and emotional phenomenon known as "narcissistic abuse". Unfortunately, the full extent of what narcissistic abuse entails is not taught in any psychology class or diagnostic manual. Since pathological narcissists are unlikely to seek treatment for their disorder, it is difficult to pinpoint what exactly makes a narcissistic abuser tick and the manipulative tactics they use, which are likely to differ from those of other types of abusers as they are more covert and underhanded. What is even more baffling is the addiction we form with our narcissistic abusers, created by biochemical bonds and trauma bonds that are also unlike any other relationship we experience.

Using the latest scientific research as well as thousands of survivor accounts, this book will explore how the emotional manipulation tactics of narcissistic and antisocial partners affect those around them, particularly with regards to its cumulative socioemotional and psychological effects on the victim. It will also address questions such as: What successful techniques, tools, and healing modalities (both traditional and alternative) are available to survivors who have been ridiculed, manipulated, verbally abused, and subject to psychological warfare? What can survivors do to better engage in self-love and self-care? How can they forge the path to healthier relationships, especially if they've been a victim of narcissistic abuse by multiple people or raised by a narcissist? Most importantly, how can they use their experiences of narcissistic abuse to empower themselves towards personal development? What can their interactions with a narcissistic abuser teach them about themselves, their relationship patterns, and the wounds that still need to be healed in order to move forward into the happy relationships and victorious lives they do deserve?

Cover art by Penoaks Publishing at www.penoaks.com.

©2016 Shahida Arabi (P)2016 Audible, Inc.

What listeners say about Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Just what I needed.

But no matter what the book says or how well it identifies with your situation its ultimately up to you to look inside you, find your worth, find your power and desire for peace and use it as your shield. Its up to you to decide who, what and when you allow anyone to penetrate that. If you take this book and its teachings seriously, you will truly become a narcissists nightmare.

I've started to be short, distant and quite blunt with my boyfriend. Treating him as I've allowed him to treat me. I've turned the tables and now, I hold the cards and guess what..... Now I don't care to be in control. I dont care to have him around. I know if I allow him back the cycle will only continue but its up to me and I'm over it! I'm walking away with my pride and my dignity.

This book is worth the read! Buy it!

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36 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Saved me from my abusive husband!

I was listening to this while with my narcissistic husband and I can honestly say this booked saved me! It helped me understand exactly what was going on and how to protect myself from him and any future predators. Thank you Shahida for this book, you're a superhero

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29 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

A podcast stretched to fill a book

If I did a keyword search on this book I think I would see a small number of word appearing hundreds of times, 'gaslighting', 'supply', 'mask' etc. Apparently its divided into chapters but all chapters are the same, there is no discernable difference in the content. It's clear that the author understands the issue but it reads like she is using this book as part of her therapy. There is not enough content to fill a book and the rambling structure does not help.

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23 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Excellent, most helpful book I have read.

Loved it, most valuable perspective on toxic relationships, toxic people and how to not do it again.

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22 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

The best book you will ever read.

This book is absolutely the best book I have ever read on this subject. It restored my mental health, self esteem and gave me my sanity back. The author completely understands the mental fog, the lack of support from those around you and the full impact of this abuse. She is thorough and is a voice of compassion I desperately needed.

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18 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

fantastic book! one of the best in this field!

fantastic book. anyone who has suffered an abusive relationship, any counsellor, a therapist anyone who works with people should read this book.

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14 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Felt like therapy for the author

Whilst clearly well researched, it quickly becomes apparent that a book written by a victim of abuse is going to be biased. That may be understandable but it felt like it descended into quite a judgemental rant in places and I gave up about three hours in.

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13 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Life changing

Please read this book if are/have suffered abuse or supporting someone suffering abuse. After, reading this I can finally contextualise and verbalise my experience of abuse. also I can now see my abuser for who he really is and the 6 year relationship for what it was.
This book had so much information I would never have considered a possibility before, such as trauma bonding and triangulation which helped me realise I wasn't insane and why I reacted now I did.
This book has untangled the mental confusion I was in, helped me to forgive myself for not leaving the relationship sooner and has set me on my journey to recovery.
I have ultimate respect and gratitude for Shahida Arabi for the knowledge and empowerment she has provided.

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9 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

This is necessary

Just all I needed to read - hear to understand how empaths and narcissists can be so deeply linked

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8 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

more over use of Narcissism etc than anything

If there are more ways to drop narcissism/narcissistic/narcissist into a sentence this book hasn't heard.

The narrator was grinding on me a bit, very annoying.

doesn't teach you anything. I didn't learn a thing about it's more about the authors bitter memories. According to her everything that is ever done or said in a relationship is narcissism. I cannot see anything new and informative brought to the fore.

it's a good concept, badly executed

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7 people found this helpful