Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies cover art

Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies

On Myths, Morons, Free Speech, Football, and Assorted Absurdities

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Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies

By: Chris Kluwe
Narrated by: Chris Kluwe
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About this listen

 Hi. In your hands, right now, you hold the culmination of thousands of years of human intelligence, ingenuity, and brilliance. Now put your goddamn phone down and pay attention to my book.

What is in my book, you ask? (I'm really glad you asked, by the way, because now I get to tell you.)

Time travel. Gay marriage. Sportsballing. Futuristic goggles that DO NOTHING.

Tiny brags from my publisher, stuff like: "This is an uproarious, uncensored take on empathy, personal responsibility, and what it means to be human."

Excessive brags about myself: "An extraordinarily clever, punishingly funny, sharp-tongued blogosphere star, NFL player, husband and father, one-time violin prodigy, voracious lifetime reader, obsessive gamer, and fearless champion of personal freedom."

Oh, and also an essay on the Pope's Twitter account. Honestly, if that doesn't draw you in, there's no hope left for humanity. I also give my own funeral eulogy, in case you were hoping I'd go away and die now!

So please, join me in the glorious art of windmill tilting by reading this "collection of rousing, uncensored personal essays, letters, and stories" (I have no idea why that's in quotes).

Join the herd of Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies.

(You know you want to.) Football (American) Comedy Marriage Funny Sports

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Critic reviews

"The most interesting man in the N.F.L." -- The New York Times
"In a league (and sports climate) which has become one, long, repetitive sound bite, a guy who will actually say something meaningful." -- BleacherReport.com
"Chris Kluwe is a glimmering sparklepony of candor (and not afraid to dive fearlessly into the marriage equality debate)." -- Mother Jones
All stars
Most relevant

Would you listen to Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies again? Why?

I will definitely listen to this book again. I cannot believe this guy is a sportsman and not a professional writer .. His book and his narration is mesmerising! He has my full attention 100% of the time, his topics are interesting, his delivery is precise and comical. I would totally recommend this book to anyone!

Who was your favorite character and why?

Chris Klewe. He's the only one in it.

Which scene did you most enjoy?

It's excellent all of the way through ..

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

And more

Any additional comments?

Yes! If anyone can suggest a better book about life/science/human behaviour it will be my next purchase from Audible. I have listened to a lot of audiobooks and the only 1 which comes close to this is The Psychopath test by John Ronson :-)

The best book I've listened to!

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Despite being written in 2013, I found it striking how much of this book could also be related to the America of today. Well written, funny and poignant, this made me want to stand up and act, to fight for the people being dismissed and deleted, for the rights that so many before us fought so hard to attain, those rights that are now being rescinded. It’s rare today to find someone who not only stands up for what they believe in, but to also walk the talk, to stand ten toes down on it and to refuse to conform. This is not a man who will go down without a fight, this is a man who is very secure in his knowledge of right and wrong and is not afraid to be vocal, regardless of the consequences. His words have the power to bring comfort, strength and inspiration to so many in the current state of uncertainty and I would urge everybody to listen/read them.

Relevant and inspirational

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