You would do anything for anyone. You are the loyal friend, the one who goes all in. And somehow people keep walking away, and you cannot see why.

Nick Davis sits down with Justin Williams, who grew up on a mission compound in the Philippines and spent decades in relationships that moved fast and ended hard. Justin calls himself an emotional porcupine: loyal, big-hearted, and quick to hurt anyone who touches the wrong spot. He talks about the belief that drove him, "If it's from God, I need to move quickly or the devil will steal it," what he and Nick worked through together, and what he can see now that he could not see then. Nick also walks through the published symptoms of borderline personality disorder, which Justin recognized in himself. That is Justin's own recognition, not a diagnosis. Nick does not diagnose anyone.

In this episode:

- What an "emotional porcupine" is, and why people may keep their distance from one
- How the belief "I need to move quickly" shaped Justin's relationships
- How someone who loves to help can end up managing another person's emotions
- How a deep fear of rejection and abandonment can drive an "I love you, I hate you" cycle
- What Nick means by "positive trauma," a term he came up with
- Why it can be so hard to see your own part in a pattern
- How to bring this up with someone you love, and what not to say
- Why Justin asks you to listen when a trusted friend says the hard thing

Justin's story is his own experience, not a promise of results, and nothing here is medical advice. Nick does not diagnose or treat any condition. Please do not stop or change any medication without talking to your doctor. If you are thinking about harming yourself, in the US you can call or text 988 at any time.

If this reminds you of someone you love, listen to the end first. How you bring it up matters. To reach Nick or Justin, start at anxietywise.com.

Anxiety Wise helps people overcome trauma and build healthier, more peaceful lives, with particular care for veterans, first responders, and the families who carry it with them.

https://anxietywise.com

If you can Feel it we can Heal it!