Am I Having Fun Now? cover art

Am I Having Fun Now?

Anxiety, Applause and Life's Big Questions, Answered

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About this listen

Winner of the Speakies award for the Best Self-Help Audiobook

Read by the author, Suzi Ruffell, this audiobook includes exclusive behind-the-scenes conversations between Suzi and special guests, including Romesh Ranganathan, Josh Widdecombe, Tom Allen, Maisie Adams, Rosie Jones, and her mum.

'A brilliant representation of anxiety made hilarious.' - Romesh Ranganathan

Does peaking in high school ruin you for life?
Was Miley Cyrus right, is it all about the climb (when it comes to building a career?)
And what - scientifically - is the best way to mend a broken heart?


Comedian Suzi Ruffell is considering life's big questions.

In this brutally honest, funny, and often moving memoir, Suzi winningly tells her life story, and asks a host of experts to answer the tricky questions it prompts along the way. Diamond life advice comes from the likes of Elizabeth Day, Dolly Alderton, Charlene Douglas, Laura Bates, Dr Kirren Schnack, and more.

From masking anxiety with musical theatre and struggling to find her groove at school, on stage, and in her love life, to (eventually) coming out, falling in love, and becoming a parent, Suzi lays her life bare with trademark wit, verve and style.

Am I Having Fun Now? is riveting, relatable and revealing. Studded with brilliant, cutting observations on feminism, being working class in the world of arts and comedy, LGBTQ+ equality and the up- and downsides of ambition, it's perfect reading for fans of books by Fern Brady, Elizabeth Day, Romesh Ranganathan, Sarah Pascoe and Tom Allen.

Anxiety Disorders Biographies & Memoirs Entertainment & Celebrities LGBTQIA+ Creators Mental Health Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Women Funny Heartfelt Witty Feel-Good Inspiring Thought-Provoking Comedy

Critic reviews

'An honest, thoughtful and superb accompaniment to our anxious times. This is not just a book by a very funny comedian. It also acts as a soothing balm to the mysterious symptoms of anxiety. A brave and vulnerable book by a very, very funny woman.' (Joe Lycett)
'Funny, compassionate and true. Ruffell’s wit and kindness on the page soothes the soul and makes you feel less alone.' (Elizabeth Day)
'People will love this book.' (James Acaster)
'A brilliant representation of anxiety made hilarious.' (Romesh Ranganathan)
'Only Suzi Ruffell can take anxiety & make it funny. Relatable, hilarious & educational to boot.' (Aisling Bea)
'Brilliantly honest, beautifully written and will help so many people.' (Josh Widdicombe)

'An excellent book, I want to give everyone I know - from my teenage niece to my sixty-year-old Dad.
So brilliant.'

(Masie Adam)
'A beautifully sensitive book from one of Britain's best comedians.' (Tom Allen)
'Honest, hilarious and totally relatable. Simply wonderful, I related so hard to every chapter. I LOVED IT.' (Rosie Jones)
A really funny and honest book. A work of such importance.' (Jon Richardson)
'Moving, funny, real, warm and beautiful. Fantastic.' (Giovanna Fletcher)
'Suzi has managed to write a memoir that acts as confidante, agony aunt and your best friend in one warm, honest and beautifully written book.' (Jen Brister)
'God, it made me laugh, at the same time think “oh yep-that’s like my little anxious brain box too” comfort and LOLs from one of the best in the biz.' (Ellie Taylor)
'A warm, witty and fantastically honest memoir.'
All stars
Most relevant
This is the first audio book I’ve listened to. I’m not a big reader and if I’m listening to anything it’s usually music so this is out of character for me but I’m so glad that this book is the one I chose to listen to (I won’t pretend I didn’t buy an audible subscription exclusively to listen to this book)
With each new chapter I felt like I was relating to something new. It’s so raw and honest and listening to someone breaking down feelings that I’ve felt so many times before is so enlightening.
This book is so well written. It’s so funny, emotional, gritty at times and so incredibly well researched. Each expert interview was something new for me to learn.
I’m really into comedy at the moment and hearing one of my favourite comedians speak with and directly quote so many of my other favourite comedians was a massive bonus for me.
I just knew I would love this book because I’ve loved Suzi Ruffell for a while now. I remember searching through YouTube for as many standup clips of her I could find and I finally got to see her live in 2023 and she’s just amazing. Got another show of hers booked for October so I’m absolutely buzzing.
Do yourself a huge favour and listen to this book!!!!!

Amazing.

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It’s like she took my thoughts and fears right from my head and put them on page. Love it

Understanding of life

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A great book. Will resonate with not only gay but also straight people who either feel anxiety or know someone who does. Heartwarming and heartbreaking, funny and moving. A great read.. a terrific listen too.

Absolutely Brilliant

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Suzi is likeable, engaging and relatable all whilst dissecting some big issues in her life and the wider world. Fascinating, thought provoking without being pious or preachy in a very easy listen. Nice one, Suzi.

Excellent listen

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Suzi writes and speaks in such a lovely manner that is relatable to all those just trying to get life. The book is funny, clever and a thoroughly good read (listen).

So relatable!

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