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Lesley Townsend

  • 38
  • reviews
  • 19
  • helpful votes
  • 59
  • ratings
  • The Great Poets: William McGonagall

  • By: William Topaz McGonagall
  • Narrated by: Gregor Fisher
  • Length: 58 mins
  • Abridged
  • Overall
    2.5 out of 5 stars 2
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars 2
  • Story
    2.5 out of 5 stars 2

The idiosyncratic Scottish poet William Topaz McGonagall has the unusual reputation as one of the worst poets in the English language with rhymes and rhythms that produce mirth rather than wonder. His masterpiece is The Tay Bridge Disaster. Scottish-born Gregor Fisher, who starred in Love Actually and other film and TV programs, reads the key poems and passages from the autobiography - and gets deep into character!

  • 1 out of 5 stars
  • Drivel

  • By Lesley Townsend on 21-01-19

Drivel

Overall
1 out of 5 stars
Performance
3 out of 5 stars
Story
1 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 21-01-19

I have to say I had long awaited a chance to hear McGonagall's poems... Bloody hell, he really was rubbish!! I cannot recommend this book. It's an hour of my time and £7 I'll never get back.

  • The Bloody Chamber

  • By: Angela Carter
  • Narrated by: Richard Armitage, Emilia Fox
  • Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars 179
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 160
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars 161

A collection of short stories, The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories was first published in 1979 and awarded the Cheltenham Festival Literary Prize. This Audible exclusive adaptation is narrated by legendary actors, Richard Armitage and Emilia Fox, who take on different chapters of the audiobook. Among these are 'The Bloody Chamber', 'The Courtship of Mr Lyon', 'The Tiger's Bride', 'Puss in Boots', 'The Erl-King', 'The Snow Child', 'The Lady of the House of Love', 'The Werewolf' and 'Wolf-Alice'.

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • Intriguing alternatives to well known tales

  • By Ms. L. M. Haynes on 10-07-18

Unnecessary swear words

Overall
3 out of 5 stars
Performance
3 out of 5 stars
Story
1 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 31-12-18

I love the narrators and they can both make a story enjoyable, especially Richard Armitage. However the use of the "C" word spoiled the stories. I'm no prude but I found the use of such a word unnecessary and inimaginitive. I can't recommend this and will avoid this author in future.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • The Murder of Princess Diana

  • Revealed: The Truth Behind the Assassination of the Century
  • By: Noel Botham
  • Narrated by: Simon Whistler
  • Length: 8 hrs and 32 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    3.5 out of 5 stars 33
  • Performance
    3.5 out of 5 stars 27
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars 26

The death of Princess Diana, Princess of Wales, sent shockwaves around the world. A nation was left in mourning, but soon feelings of suspicion surfaced: was her death all that the Establishment might wish us to believe? Now, after an exhaustive two-year probe, investigative writer and former journalist Noel Botham has dared to reveal what the people of Britain have always believed - that Diana's death was murder.

  • 1 out of 5 stars
  • Do not purchase this book this book does not tell you anything that you don't already know.

  • By Carmoon on 23-08-17

Very interesting

Overall
4 out of 5 stars
Performance
1 out of 5 stars
Story
3 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 28-12-18

Sadly the narration spoils this book. Very robotic voice, I persevered as I wanted to know the story. It was very interesting and confirmed to me that Diana was murdered as I had thought. If you enjoyed this, read The Rebel Prince and it should confirm any thoughts that Prince Charles is a horror of a human being and that wife of his has a lot to answer for. What a contemptible couple. Diana might not have been perfect but she did not deserve the treatment she endured. The Royal Family must surely be the most disfunctional family, and there is a little of the mafia about them.

  • Queen Camilla

  • By: Sue Townsend
  • Narrated by: Patricia Gallimore
  • Length: 12 hrs and 57 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars 73
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars 39
  • Story
    3.5 out of 5 stars 43

For the past 13 years, as England became an increasingly unhappy and fearful place, Prince Charles has been living quietly on a bleak council estate with his wife and love of his life, Camilla. He enjoys gardening and poultry keeping while Camilla spends her days doing as little as possible. But life is about to change.

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • Enjoyable

  • By Nicholas on 21-01-08

Rubbish

Overall
1 out of 5 stars
Performance
1 out of 5 stars
Story
1 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 21-12-18

Voices were over the top and irritating. I struggled with this book. Can't say I'd recommend it.

  • Shadows of a Princess

  • By: Patrick Jephson
  • Narrated by: Patrick Jephson
  • Length: 19 hrs and 36 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars 21
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 19
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars 18

Reissued for the 20th anniversary of Diana's death, this sensational best seller is an explosive account of her life, from the man who was by her side throughout its most turbulent period. In 1981 Lady Diana Spencer was seen by many as a lifeline for the outdated Windsor line. But Diana didn't follow the script. Instead she brought a revolution. Patrick Jephson was Diana's closest aide and adviser during her years of greatest public fame and deepest personal crisis.

  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • Story of a person who is like anyone else

  • By PavLove on 28-05-18

ABSOLUTE RUBBISH

Overall
1 out of 5 stars
Performance
1 out of 5 stars
Story
1 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 18-12-18

A boring story told in the most boring manner. This man has his head firmly stuck up somewhere it shouldn't be. He has the audacity to criticise other biographies of the Princess of Wales. I've read a few and frankly they were infinitely better written and better narrated than this rubbish. What a horrid little man Patrick Jephson is. I CATEGORICALLY DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS BOOK, IT'S UNBELIEVABLY BORING

  • Listening to the Animals

  • Becoming the Supervet
  • By: Professor Noel Fitzpatrick
  • Narrated by: Professor Noel Fitzpatrick
  • Length: 12 hrs and 58 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars 222
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars 202
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars 200

In this inspiring, uplifting and heartwarming memoir, world-renowned veterinary surgeon Professor Noel Fitzpatrick explores his journey to becoming The Supervet. Growing up on the family farm in Ballyfin, Ireland, Noel's childhood was spent tending to the cattle and sheep, the hay and silage, the tractors and land, his beloved sheepdog, Pirate, providing solace from the bullies that plagued him at school. It was this bond with Pirate, and a fateful night spent desperately trying to save a newborn lamb, that inspired Noel to enter the world of veterinary science.

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • Absolutely outstanding

  • By Bowbow on 13-12-18

Excellent

Overall
5 out of 5 stars
Performance
5 out of 5 stars
Story
5 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 16-12-18

Well written, well read, a little over acted and over emotional in parts. Noel Fitzpatrick is clearly a very committed and genuine human being. I enjoyed the book very much. Would definitely recommend.

  • The Boy in the Dress

  • By: David Walliams
  • Narrated by: David Walliams, Matt Lucas
  • Length: 2 hrs and 23 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4.5 out of 5 stars 419
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 305
  • Story
    4.5 out of 5 stars 301

Dennis was different. Why was he different, you ask? Well, a small clue might be in the title of this book... Charming, surprising and hilarious - David Walliams's beautiful first novel will touch the hearts (and funny bones) of children and adults alike. Now David teams up with Matt Lucas to produce an audiobook with a difference. Read by two of the brightest stars in sketch comedy, this lavish production brings the hilarious voices behind Little Britain to your nearest earphones.

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • Good

  • By Amazon Customer on 03-06-18

Brilliant!! For kids AND ADULTS!!

Overall
5 out of 5 stars
Performance
5 out of 5 stars
Story
5 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 10-12-18

Brilliant story, brilliantly told. Delightful escapism. This is in my opinion the best of his books with Mr Stink coming a close second. These books are primarily for kids but I'm a mature lady who has listened to all of David's books and found them fun and spirit lifting. You're never too old to enjoy books of any kind. This book is just a joy to listen to. Thoroughly recommend for ANY age.

  • Matt Lucas: And the Winner Is...

  • By: Matt Lucas
  • Narrated by: Matt Lucas
  • Length: 2 hrs and 41 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4.5 out of 5 stars 9
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 3
  • Story
    3.5 out of 5 stars 3

Matt Lucas hosts the newest and most prestigious awards ceremony of the year - the perfectly-title 'Lucases'. Including awards for the Lamest Excuse of All-Time, the Lucas for Most Pointless Member of the Royal Family and the Lucas for Greatest Song By A Musical Artist Who Is Otherwise Rubbish.

  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • Amusing except for........

  • By Lesley Townsend on 10-12-18

Amusing except for........

Overall
4 out of 5 stars
Performance
4 out of 5 stars
Story
1 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 10-12-18

Very amusing series except for the fact that the first episode had as one of the guests the thoroughly untalented, unfunny, unintelligent and unpleasant James Corden, what a waste of air that cretin is. All the other guests were suitably entertaining, especially Tom Baker. Lighthearted fun.

  • The Ice Monster

  • By: David Walliams
  • Narrated by: Jane Horrocks, Miriam Margolyes, Peter Serafinowicz, and others
  • Length: 5 hrs and 40 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4.5 out of 5 stars 200
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 151
  • Story
    4.5 out of 5 stars 149

When Elsie, an orphan on the streets of Victorian London, hears about the mysterious Ice Monster - a woolly mammoth found at the North Pole - she’s determined to discover more.... A chance encounter brings Elsie face to face with the creature and sparks the adventure of a lifetime - from London to the heart of the Arctic! Heroes come in all different shapes and sizes in David Walliams’ biggest and most epic adventure yet!  

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • funny imaginative kept you wanting to listen more

  • By kelly riggans on 12-12-18

Not his best

Overall
1 out of 5 stars
Performance
2 out of 5 stars
Story
1 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 10-12-18

As a grown woman David Walliams's books have been a guilty pleasure. I've listened to all of his books. Some good, some bad. Delightful escapism. I have to say this isn't the best. I found it boring in comparison to other books. I skipped chapters as it dragged on. That said, in my opinion, his best works are still The Boy in the Dress, Mr Stink, Grandpa's Great Escape and Gangsta Granny. The Ice Monster doesn't come close sadly. I also think that the appearance of Raj in his books adds funny and heartwarming continuity. I like David Walliams very much and wish him continued success with his books. This one simply didn't do it for me.

3 of 4 people found this review helpful

  • The Queen and I

  • By: Sue Townsend
  • Narrated by: Angela Thorne
  • Length: 7 hrs and 23 mins
  • Unabridged
  • Overall
    4.5 out of 5 stars 118
  • Performance
    4.5 out of 5 stars 103
  • Story
    4.5 out of 5 stars 104

When a Republican party wins the general election, they strip the royal family of everything and send them to live on a housing estate in the Midlands. Exchanging caviar for boiled eggs, servants for a social worker named Trish, the queen and her family learn what it means to be poor among the great unwashed. Is their breeding sufficient to allow them to rise above their changed circumstance, or deep down are they really just like everyone else?

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • so funny

  • By susan smith on 12-08-16

A little disappointing

Overall
3 out of 5 stars
Performance
2 out of 5 stars
Story
2 out of 5 stars

Reviewed: 07-12-18

Having loved the Adrian Mole books I was looking forward to this. The feeble plot was simply a disappointing dream sequence. Angela Thorne did her best to cover all the characters voices and accents but failed miserably with most. It was in parts excruciating to listen to. All things considered I couldn't in all honesty recommend this book.