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  • How to Be a Vigilante: A Diary

  • By: Luke Smitherd
  • Narrated by: Luke Smitherd
  • Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
  • 4.4 out of 5 stars (950 ratings)
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How to Be a Vigilante: A Diary cover art

How to Be a Vigilante: A Diary

By: Luke Smitherd
Narrated by: Luke Smitherd
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Summary

From the author of the international best-seller The Stone Man, shortlisted for Audible UK's Book of the Year Award 2015.

In the late 1990s, a laptop was found in a service station just outside of Manchester. It contained a digital journal entitled 'TO THE FINDER: OPEN NOW TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE!' Now, for the first time, that infamous diary is being published in its entirety.

It's 1998. The Internet age is still in its infancy. Google has just been founded. Eighteen-year-old supermarket shelf-stacker Nigel Carmelite has decided that he's going to become a vigilante.

There are a few problems: how is he going to even find crime to fight on the streets of Derbyshire? How will he create a superhero costume - and an arsenal of crime-fighting weaponry - on a shoestring budget? And will his history of blackouts and crippling social inadequacy affect his chances? This is Nigel's account of his journey; part diary, part deluded self-help manual, tragically comic and slowly descending into what is arguably Luke Smitherd's darkest and most violent novel.

What do you believe in? And more importantly, should you?

©2016 Luke Smitherd (P)2016 Luke Smitherd

What listeners say about How to Be a Vigilante: A Diary

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

We're Only Making Fans For Nigel

Well here we go it’s that bloody Smitherd bloke . . . AGAIN! Ridiculous premise, dopey sounding plot, run of the mill title and when you put them all into a story you somehow get something exceptional. Adrian Mole meets Walter Mitty on acid and chaos ensues! The lead, named Nigel living in the hell of 1990’s Derby is barely adequate, fairly unlikeable and yet reaches for the stars. I loved him.

Smitherd is not an author you can settle down and get comfortable with. As soon as you think that you’ve got his number up comes the next book and does a “And now for something completely different” act on you. It is a real talent and here we’ve departed from the supernatural / paranormal influences and yet find ourselves in a dark yet humorous misadventure. It does cut up rough with violence and swearing but it’s quality plotting and writing all the same.

Once again I can’t give Sir Luke a bad review even though I did once again come to this book to bury him rather than praise him. I did not receive a free copy, which is obviously because he hates me, so I was not obliged in any way to give an honest review. I did anyway just to spite him.

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47 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Slow going to begin, but excellent

I don't know why I enjoyed this as much as I did, I only occasionally felt sympathy for a character that I found to be a complete tool. But his gradual progress kept me going. However when things started getting (very) dark, and the story began to go completely off the path I was expecting it to go, I couldn't stop listening. Often clapping a hand to my eyes or mouth at some new revelation.

Thanks for another great listen.

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13 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • jc
  • 16-04-17

brilliant again!!!!

I have signed up to audible and pay subscription fees just to be able to get smitherds books. this month's 7.99 was not wasted. I just hope when he is signed up by the big publisher he keeps reading them too. I've covered countless miles in my hgv listening to his books. everyone is great and vigilante was a journey.

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9 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Just read it, you won't regret it.

Brilliant characterisation, a protagonist who is equal parts Patrick Bateman, David Brent and Bruce Wayne. Rooted for him, pitied him, hated him in a rolling cycle throughout the story.
Builds up character over the first third, but be prepared to listen to the majority in one go, just ten more minutes rapidly became two hours. Really well read too, I've never found 'manic glee', rage or delusion as easy to picture. Awesome.

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9 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Bloody brilliant

starts off jovial then comes the turn... effing brilliant book the first book to make me actually say "no....no way" 10/10 would recommend

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9 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Not at all what you would expect! Excellent book

What made the experience of listening to How to Be a Vigilante: A Diary the most enjoyable?

This book was funny and at the same time so tragically sad. I loved it, but It also made me wanted to stop listing at times as I didn’t want thing to get any worse for the main character. I don’t want to give the game away but what at first seems to be a light hearted tail turn very very dark.Excellent book, excellent narration.

What was one of the most memorable moments of How to Be a Vigilante: A Diary?

Not going to say I dont want to give the game away

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8 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Thought Provoking

The 3rd book I've read by Luke Smithered and I was engrossed. This book had me experiencing a range of emotions from happy to sad. I thoroughly enjoyed it just as I have the other novels by this author. It is in my opinion so refreshing to read fiction that isn't a whodunit murder mystery. This is a story of something that could actually happen to someone and so well written with an easy to follow straight forward plot. I have been listening to audiobooks for 5 years now every day and Luke Smithered is the best author I've read.

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7 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

very funny, then VERY dark. loved it.

already a Luke Smitherd fan having read most of his previous stuff. this doesn't disappoint.

great story, very funny but gets super dark, super quickly.

another excellent LS short epic!

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6 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

You too can be a crime fighting vigilante

What does Luke Smitherd bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you had only read the book?

Having read an advanced readers copy of the book I was also given the opportunity to listen to the audible version & being an avid audio book fan leaped at the chance. I'll admit I'm biased, being a Brit it's always nice to listen to a fellow Brit reading the story instead of the normal round of Americans.. I enjoyed Luke putting passion into his superhero voice & the apparent ease of his drunken rambling.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

Without adding spoilers, the part of the book where we moved from the early humour into the darkness & horror of tragedy was really well done for me.

Any additional comments?

Keep up the great work Luke (& keep narrating your own books)

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6 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Funny, Sad, Dark and Compelling

In his self confessed review begging afterword, the author is very modest about his performance. But really he reads the story perfectly. I can't imagine Nigel's voice being realised any better than this. The book begins in a light, humorous vein but soon spins to a darkly violent world as the central character is sucked into a story of his own innocent creation.
I shan't spoil it for you but I do recommend it to you. I consumed it in just a few days, once drawn in I couldn't let go.

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5 people found this helpful