The idea that good and bad aspects of self have equal worth is a difficult concept to accept. Not so after Ford explains her point of view, using poignant images, a Cherokee story, examples for the worlds of celebrity and politics, and anecdotes from her own life and the lives of others. She goes on to describe shame and self-sabotage and explains how to change the "masks" we've all adopted to survive. Ford reads her own words with the confidence of a teacher who knows the depth of her material. Her voice expresses the neutrality and understanding of a counselor used to awkward subjects. She offers the compassion of friend who can comfort a wounded soul and suggests specific ways to transform internal negatives into hope.
In many ways, these sad stories have become a national obsession. Yet countless other acts of self-destruction and sabotage take place in our families, in our communities, in our circle of friends. Despite good intentions, "good people" do very bad things - often without understanding why.
New York Times best-selling author Debbie Ford guides us into the heart of the duality that unknowingly operates within each one of us: the force that compels us to live by our values, give and receive love, and be a contributing member of the community; and the force that holds us back, sabotages our efforts, and repeatedly steers us toward bad choices.
Ford begins with an examination of what she calls the Beach-Ball Effect - the way in which suppressed emotions eventually rise to the surface - revealing the origins of self-destructive behavior. By describing the never-ending battle between our light and dark sides and then identifying the signposts for potential disaster, Ford helps us understand how we end up damaging the lives we've worked so hard to create. She then breaks new ground by helping us recognize the masks we wear to protect ourselves, including the People Pleaser, the Victim, the Bully, Mister Cool, and the Jokester. Understanding these masks and what they cover up allows us to go beneath the surface, wake up from denial, and become the person we always intended to be.
With Why Good People Do Bad Things Ford has created her most enduring, expansive, and powerful work to date. Providing the tools to unlock the patterns of self-sabotage, Ford ultimately knocks down the faÃ§ade of the false self and shows us how to heal the split between light and dark and live the authentic life ...
©2008 Debbie Ford; (P)2008 HarperCollins Publishers
This book has changed me some how. I'm very pleased I came across it. I can now truely forgive myself and others. I've have finally found my inner peace. I'm very greatful!
Very interesting and balanced perspective as to why we do what we do and how our shadows (other side of our 'goodness') can come out sideways. It levels the playing field and shows how everyone of us is capable of thinking, feeling and acting out quite negatively when we get out of balance with our selves.
For the people-pleaser type it is a real eye opener finding out that you aren't quite as innocent as you think . . . more like a manipulator and victim with a hidden agenda to get people to like you.
Initially I had a difficult time listening to Ms. Ford's voice, which is rather monotone and nasally, but once I got accustomed to it I found it rather comforting.
"Examples but no help changing..."
This book is full of examples and gives you some ideas of the "masks" people hide behind and maybe even why someone hides behind it but there is no real information regarding identifying your mask or ways to make changes to your behavior.
The book basically repeats the idea that you will never be happy and satisfied while wearing your mask and stresses how important it is to take off your mask and be the real you. It falls short of any information for improving yourself.
Not worth it...
"The Shadow Knows"
This is a fascinating book! In college, I studied Jung's description of the shadow (the dark side) that is within all of us. But Debbie Ford makes this a contemporary and relevant listen. Each time I hear of another politician, athlete or celebrity who has self-imploded, I think "there's another one for Debbie's book!"
This was my first experience with Debbie Ford—and while I now realize she's got a whole host of material (which I am now digging into)—this was very enlightening. The insights I gained will help me make better choices for myself and have also helped me think more kindly about my own self-destructive behavior. My only criticism is that I wish Debbie had selected someone else to read it. She has a slight speech impediment that was distracting, particularly until I got used to it.
"Super annoying narration, okay book"
Here's the secret if you're listening to this book on an iPod, adjust the speed. Your iPod should let you adjust the narration and this book's narration was only barely tolerable after I increased it to 2x. Soooooooo annoying. And she just goes on and on narrating these ridiculously repetitive lists. Ugh. Anyway, aside from the narration, the content of the book is... okay. But i'm more of a factual, research-based person, and nothing the author had to say was research-based or seemed factual, just her perspective (although not necessarily presented as such) on the topic/s.
I liked the overall message of this book and found it very informative. I think she hit the nail on the head on why people do bad things. My only criticism is that this book was a bit repetitive and could have been edited down.
"Finally I understand why :)"
I can listen to it when working and everywhere I go.
She explains so clearly and brilliantly what other authors make it complicated to understand.
Help me to question my reaction over what other people express and act over. She make it easy for me to not take other people saying personal and use it wisely. Such a relief...
She is an angel, one of the sweetest I had the pleasure to listened to. Thank you Debbie :)
"Excellent, relevant and powerful"
I've read and listened to hundreds of books and this one created so much clarity about our duality and dark and light self.
A must read if you grew up with the "that is so wrong" or "they are a sinners paradigms.
Recommended to everyone looking for strength within and untouchable power to live life fully! Get it touch with love and compassion as this will change you life.
Good discription of personalities
made it easy to see myself better
the reason why good people do bad things
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