What makes stepmothering so hard? And why are we, as people and a culture, so hard on stepmothers? How can we make it easier?
Stepmonster is a truly unique and groundbreaking book for women with stepchildren, men with kids who repartner, adult stepchildren, and anyone who cares about them. It is a comprehensive, cross-cultural, research-based reconsideration of stepfamily dynamics - from the perspective of the stepmother. How does she think, act, and feel, and why? Part no-holds-barred memoir of stepmothering in the trenches, part analysis of why stepmothering is tough and steps women with stepkids can take to thrive, Stepmonster has been hailed as "the thinking woman's guide to stepmothering" and "life altering", igniting conversations, controversy, and changes in how we perceive and experience stepmothering.
©2009 Wednesday Martin (P)2015 Tantor
"[Martin's] well-researched work delves into the animal world, fairy tales, psychology, and sociobiology...." (Library Journal)
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"A must for stepmothers or those thinking about it."
A book of validation and understanding for the hard feelings you'll have as a stepmother.
"A must read"
Anyone who finds themselves single and even contemplating dating and anyone who is contemplating dating someone with children. There are more than 2 people who play a role in the success of such a relationship and knowing how to manage expectations in advance had got to help.
I only wish that I had this book years ago.
"Glad I am not alone"
It list pretty high. Mainly because it pertains to my own life and what I am dealing with.
That I learned that I am not alone in what I feel and what I deal with as a stepmother. I don't even like to be called stepmother. I am way more comfortable being called a step-parent.
Not sure this matters for this book.
That many woman feel the same way I do and that it is ok to not love or even like your stepchild(ren). You do have to be fair, responsible, and kind...which I am. I just don't have to feel bad that I don't have a bond or feelings for the child. Like the book says...you fell in love with the man. You did not fall in love with his children. Some get luck and can develop a bond and even love (maybe), but it is nice to know that it isn't as popular as society makes us think. Being a good parent is important. Having feelings for "said" child is not a requirement. It lifted a lot of pressure/guilt.
If you are a step-parent... especially a female and struggle with your feelings about your stepchildren....get this book. Good for men too who are in the same situation. If you can get your spouse to listen with you that is even better. It will help them understand better too.
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