You are a mind reader, born with an extraordinary ability to understand what others think, feel, believe, want, and know. It's a sixth sense you use every day, in every personal and professional relationship you have. At its best, this ability allows you to achieve the most important goal in almost any life: connecting, deeply and intimately and honestly, to other human beings. At its worst, it is a source of misunderstanding and unnecessary conflict, leading to damaged relationships and broken dreams.
How good are you at knowing the minds of others? How well can you guess what others think of you, know who really likes you, or tell when someone is lying? How well do you really understand the minds of those closest to you, from your spouse to your kids to your best friends? Do you really know what your coworkers, employees, competitors, or clients want?
In this illuminating exploration of one of the great mysteries of the human mind, University of Chicago psychologist Nicholas Epley introduces us to what scientists have learned about our ability to understand the most complicated puzzle on the planet - other people - and the surprising mistakes we so routinely make. Why are we sometimes blind to the minds of others, treating them like objects or animals? Why do we sometimes talk to our cars, or the stars, as if there is a mind that can hear us? Why do we so routinely believe that others think, feel, and want what we do when, in fact, they do not? And why do we believe we understand our spouses, family, and friends so much better than we actually do? Mindwise will not turn other people into open books, but it will give you the wisdom to revolutionize how you think about them - and yourself.
©2014 Nicholas Epley (P)2013 Brilliance Audio, all rights reserved.
Judith Corstjens Author of: Xtensity, Why 5% of Dieters Succeed; Storewars: The Battle for Mindspace and Shelfspace; Strategic Advertising
This is just the sort of book I like - looking into our minds and perception and teasing out the reasons why our mental processes go wrong and mislead us. Why only four stars? Because sometimes I felt it made errors. For example, early on Mr Epley annihilates the idea that people can tell you why they have made a decision or behave in a certain way (the old problem of post-rationalisation). Then in subsequent chapters he uses survey data (without any apologies) to show, for example, how people think that their reasons for choosing or liking their job are different to those of their employees. So do we trust this self-reporting or not? More egregious, Epley tries to claim that it is our stereotyped images of growing old that lead us to grow old (and not physiological ageing). This is clearly wrong because I have aged in ways I didn’t even imagine or know about (don’t ask). His ‘evidence’ for this theory is that people with good images of growing old age better than those with more negative images of ageing. He doesn’t even bother to discuss the possibility that experience of old people and genetic propensity to age badly might be correlated. I could go on. Oh all right, just one more. He claims to have experimental evidence to show that people would be happier if they systematically talked to fellow travellers on commuter trains. Commuters don’t anticipate that chatting would make them happier, so they don’t try it, and miss out on this great opportunity for joyful social interaction. Maybe these were pre-audio-book commuters :)
I don’t want to discourage you from auditing this book because it is thought provoking and fun - just be aware that in some parts the data seems to be being fit to a theory rather than the other (correct) way round.
Narration: I had to set my ipod reader to ‘slow’ - instead of the normal speed. Nicholas reads his own book, but clearly wanted to whisk through as quickly as possible. Given the thoughtful nature of the content, this listener needed time to ingest the ideas, so slowing the flow was essential for me.
I wanted to read a non fiction science book. What I got was tedious and irrelevant American politics. I haven't finished yet I am tempted to just delete it.
He can read aloud.
All the tedious vomit-inducing sick-making times Epley displays his 'good', 'virtuous' and 'righteous' biases. Its kinda funny that Epley appears to infer that President Obama has empathy superpowers - hahahahaha!
Avoid this book if you have high blood pressure and are politically anywhere to the right of Pol Pot. Just avoid it if you cannot stand authors who want to ram their politics down your throat.
"Finally gave up - no real point"
To have some type of overall vision or concept of what the main goal of book is. The content is REALLY out there. I apply this type of concept every day but saw nothing really revealing and, in some areas, felt the points being made were completely subjective and not based on much experience
The constant rattling off of statistics with no real basis or conclusions that were helpful
It was fairly bland..... it didn't help the statistics become any more interesting... Obviously written from the VERY annalytical perspective with zero consideration for versitility to add any different views for non-analytical readers.
To be honest, it never grabbed me at all and I just stopped about 1/4 of the way through.. I tried to give it a chance but just didn't see anything relevent to the title.
The publisher's summary definitely should be a bit more "real" in terms of the discription, which actually got me to buy it. If there was a way to return this one, I definitely would.
"Great insight into our social mind..."
Dr. Epley provides great insight into our ability to understand and misunderstand those around us and even ourselves. Through easy to understand real life examples and practical explanations of research that refutes and verifies "common sense" psychology you will come away better informed. The practical implications at the end of the book are profound at both personal and societal levels. Highly recommended. - LJ Burr, MD
"Fresh, entertaining and very informative"
Nick Epley does a wonderful narration of his book. At times I felt I was in his class -- he cites research after research study -- you'd think it would be boring, but not the way he tells it. If you're interested in human behavior, you'll get a lot out of this. Another plus: Professor Epley's passion for this body of knowledge and his warm heart come right through his voice.
Loved it. A great book to really bend your mind and get you thinking clear
"Understand your not a mind reader"
There were a few thinking points. But for me there was nothing new, inspiring, nor did I feel the urge to change anything.
My take away was that you don't understand people even those close to you as well as you think. You should ask directly rather than assume what others are thinking . So being mind wise is to realize the gaps in communication and the other persons understanding of that information.
"A book challenge your comfortable zone"
A great book to refresh your perspective of the world. Hate it at the beginning, but love and will review it at the end. Really like a bitter sweet relationship.
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