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Unconditional Parenting Audiobook

Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason

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Publisher's Summary

One basic need all children have, educator Alfie Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including "time outs"), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful and largely unknown research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send.

More than just another book about discipline, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from "doing to" to "working with" parenting - including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people.

©2005 Alfie Kohn (P)2016 Tantor

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.7 (13 )
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4.6 (12 )
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Performance
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  •  
    pepperstree 22/02/2017
    pepperstree 22/02/2017 Member Since 2017
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "must read"

    In the multitude of trends and advice on disciplining practices this book is a breath of fresh air, concentrating on principles of education. When you love your child this way is a no brainier as it does not require that you be mean or manipulative. The only but is that it is really hard work as it requires sooo much patience and often time.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
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  • Heather
    PLEASANT GROVE, UT, United States
    18/08/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Best parenting book I've read!"

    Funny, practical, filled with anecdotes and puns between research and a lot of reality checks. It just makes scary sense. I wish the whole world could get this as a required course for having kids and getting into a relationship. The world would be a better place. No scripts for when child said A you say B, but an entire paradigm shift about what you really want your child to become and whether your immediate B will even get you there. This is a total wakeup call, even if you think you're on the right track. We parents can always learn a little more and do a little better so our kids end up stronger, more empathetic as well as independent and healthy.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Sid Horadagoda
    28/02/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Eye opening, great audio."

    Really enjoyed this book. Lots of studies quoted. A must read for those of us living in the west

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • nycgirl
    22/11/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Pretty solid stuff here"

    I enjoyed it. I already had an idea as to what works for my 7 year old, but this confirms it even more. Writer isn't boring with his voice and really gives you some Ah Ha moments. Love that.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Richard M.
    29/03/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Good"
    What did you learn from Unconditional Parenting that you would use in your daily life?

    Well the author illustrates new ways to look at parenting especially to those who detest violence and coercion.


    Any additional comments?

    Good book sometimes I would have a loss of focus - ultimately though satisfied with purchase

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Amazon Customer
    06/10/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Amazing book!"

    I have read tons of parenting books and this is the only one that really seems to have the best interest of the child in mind. I am more of an authoritarian parent and it has really opened up my eyes on how punishments and rewards are perceived by my children. This book has finally explained to me in a way that I can understand why not every wrong doing should have a consequence. My children are happier and so am I.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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