Featured on NBC's Today, The Disease to Please explodes the dangerous myth that "people pleasing" is a benign problem. Best-selling author and frequent Oprah guest Dr. Harriet Braiker offers clear, positive, practical, and easily do-able steps toward recovery.
Begin with a simple but revealing quiz to discover what type of people-pleaser you are. Then learn how making even small changes to any single portion of the Disease to Please Triangle, involving your thoughts, feelings, and behavior, will cause a dramatic, positive, and long-lasting change to the overall syndrome.
As a recovered people pleaser, you will finally see that a balanced way of living that takes others into consideration but puts the emphasis first on pleasing yourself and gaining your own approval is the clearest path to health and happiness.
©2001 Harriet B. Braiker, Ph.D.; (P)2004 AMI
If you are a people pleaser you need to listen to this audio book. It will open your eyes to the reality that, if you have been living your life putting other people first ALL THE TIME, you have been deceiving yourself. It's important to love other people, but not at the point where you put your own dreams and desires on hold. I hope you enjoy listening to it.
"Not overly religious"
I've read the paperback version of this book and it was painful to get through. This may be, because I just don't like reading books.
From the very beginning of the book, it pulls no punches. It explains that you can really screw up your life by letting others walk over you. It also tells you that you can cause relationships with others to fail because of your "give all" reactions to everything.
While I didn't cry, the book gave me strong emotional reactions because it was like looking in a mirror. It has definitely helped me alter my life in a positive directoin.
"Maybe all the people need this"
Although this is a self help book it contains valuable and acessible information. Harriet Braiker is very very good in explaining the problem and remedies. She is not rosy, she is not tragic. Bernadette Dunne has a crystal clear pleasant voice. Maybe you think you don't need it. I dare say you are wrong.
"Focused on sexual abuse"
This book is only about 4 hours long and she spend quite a lot of time on sexual abuse...which was disappointing because not all people who want to please others have that problem. And the example story she gives out is quite gruesome and disturbing, which I could not relate to at all.
I wish she wrote less about the sexual side of it and focused more on interpersonal skills in general so that the broad audience can relate to it. Talking about sexual abuse is fine, but that's not what the title represents. I was looking for general interpersonal skills based on guilt, insecurities, etc.
no one thing will apply exactly to everyone but about 90% this applied to me. very insightful.
I'd recommend this book to anyone who goes out of their way for someone and then finds that often people will turn on you. I though, " I have noting but good to her, and she turns around and slaps me in the face."
"Extremely useful, and pertinent for my awareness."
This book explained not only what I do, but why. I am grateful for this awareness so I can change it.
"We always have a choice"
I would listen to this again because it is a great book and I am guilty of pleasing other people. The more I listen to this book, the more confident I become.
Her repetitiveness - because it is very difficult to change something about yourself that is almost innate.
I have not.
I am going to try to make a conscious decision to listen to my intuition. If I feel at all negative about saying yes...I AM CHOOSING TO SAY NO!
Thank you! a must read!
"Good book. I would definitely recommend it. "
I would definitely recommend it for anyone struggling in this area. it will help you to become a better, happier and more balanced person.
i didn't realize how codependent and people pleasing I was till I read this book. I feel no longer cursed to stay that way, as I realize this is something I do, not something I am. I recommend this book to those who may doubt they people please because we all do in one way or another.
i really benefited from chapter 11 and the fear of conflict. its so true.
"Everything I needed to learn"
This book was very insightful. It gave me the tools and understanding of how I was sabotaging my self-esteem and many of my relationships without having the slightest clue. I recommend it for everyone who is struggling with conflict management, self-esteem and exhaustion from trying to please everyone. Great thanks to the author.
"No clear strategy for fixing the problem"
The book focuses on the disease to please and what it is but gives very few tips and not a very clear plan for how to change it or fix it - which is what I was looking for
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