An examination of childhood trauma and its surreptitious, debilitating effects by one of the world's leading psychoanalysts.
Never before has world-renowned psychoanalyst Alice Miller examined so persuasively the long-range consequences of childhood abuse on the body. Using the experiences of her patients along with the biographical stories of literary giants such as Virginia Woolf, Franz Kafka, and Marcel Proust, Miller shows how a child's humiliation, impotence, and bottled rage will manifest itself as adult illness - be it cancer, stroke, or other debilitating diseases. Never one to shy away from controversy, Miller urges society as a whole to jettison its belief in the Fourth Commandment and not to extend forgiveness to parents whose tyrannical childrearing methods have resulted in unhappy, and often ruined, adult lives. In this empowering work, writes Rutgers professor Philip Greven, "[listeners] will learn how to confront the overt and covert traumas of their own childhoods with the enlightened guidance of Alice Miller."
©2005 Alice Miller (P)2013 Audible, Inc.
I love this book. Alice Miller is a clear, profound and insightful woman and her book reflect that.
The only thing I would complaint about its that maybe the narrator was a bit to fast in his reading.
As a part of a series of books about how we are wired to operate, it makes good sense and explains in an emotional way, how we are connected as minds to our body, if only by the end results of our lives. This book only lacks two things, in my opinion: better connection to the mechanisms and reactions of our body to our experiences, and what exactly is the term "cruel parenting" with a fair understanding of how "the perpetrators" are doing their wrong and when exactly. It is a complementary book to others such as "stumbling onto happiness" and "welcome to your child's brain", in order to get the idea. I liked a lot the fictional diary in the book which explains in an experiential way what the writer wanted to say but was "missing the nail". Overall worth the money and time. A piece of the puzzle for further self development or even for a professional to include in their sphere of view.
"Insight into the way parenting impacts children"
The way Alice Miller uncompromisingly looks at abuse, neglect, and mistreatment of children from the child's point of view is truly an eye opener. She exposes the beliefs and emotions that adults experience as a result of harmful, even cruel parenting. She liberates the reader from having to retain a helpless dependency on their parents out of guilt, obligation, or an insistence on forgiving and honoring one's parents. She gives many examples of famous and ordinary people whose bodies never lied, although many remained unconscious of their own biography and suffered. Fascinating book, great storytelling, and such a beacon of hope for treating our children much much better.
"A healing experience"
It's great that 'honour thy mother and thy father' is questioned in this book. There are some parents who should not be honoured.
Don't know about moments but the whole book questions the way abused children are told to 'forgive' and 'honour' those who abused them when our bodies are telling us that our truth is so important.
A caring genuine sounding approach I suppose.
It gives you the freedom to accept how you feel, to be understanding of yourself instead of being understanding of the abuser.
Very insightful book on the negative effects of religious moral code on victims of abuse.
This was the first time I have ever heard a self help book about abuse not ask me to forgive. It was such a relief. I feel clarity in my journey after hearing it's ok for me to be angry and not to forgive. I still have a relationship with my parents. I have no intention on stopping it. Today I have a new approach, be angry when you need to be, it's acceptable, there's no need to rush forgiveness.
"Fraud knew this in the 1890s but he had to..,"
recant his story due to his peers pressure.
This was a good read and there is a lot of truth to what the author tells us.
This book is a rambling exercise in speculation. The first third just speculates about the lives of dead authors and historical figures, but presents this unsupported speculation as fact without proof. It then bleats pseudo-testimonials (that seem to just be posts from users in some sort of depression forum) about how great the author's theory is without ever discussing the actual mechanism of recovery or citing any supporting sources other than the narrative the author creates in her head. The book is a rambling advertisement for itself. The narrator frequently mispronounces words. I made it halfway through before I gave up and decided it was never going to say anything that wasn't either complete conjecture (sometimes edging on delusion) or common sense. There were only two sentences in the entire first half that had any substance. Save your money.
"Why did I not get this sooner?"
Sometime authors who write on the same theme are repetitive....this is NOT the case for this book or its famous predecessor (Drama of the Gifted Child).
I really liked the kind, conversational tone of the narrator, as well.
"Every therapist should read"
Great book. A little slow during the first quarter but definitely a must read for therapists.
"Dark but very insightful"
I was recommended to read this book for the understanding by a professional. I started out thinking that it was way too dark.
However after I got into it I realized that the author was really on to something. She has a clear view of the effects of parenting and of course she does not blame as much as she explains. I was a bit concerned that she was heading into feminist nonsense, but then realized that was not doing that at all. I highly recommend this author's book(s)
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