Drs. Astro and Danielle Teller know better than most that finding the right partner in life doesn't always happen the first time around. Through their own divorces they learned how widely held cultural assumptions and misinformation that nobody thinks to question - what they refer to as "sacred cows" - create unnecessary heartache for people who are already suffering through a terrible time. Do you think, for example, that the divorce rate in the United States is rising? Or that children are harmed by divorce? Most people do, but it turns out that neither of these notions is supported by the data.
Combining the rigor that has established them as leaders in their respective fields along with a dose of good-natured humor, the Tellers ask listeners to take a fresh look at seven common sacred cows: the Holy Cow, the Expert Cow, the Selfish Cow, the Defective Cow, the Innocent Victim Cow, the One True Cow, and the Other Cow. This is not an audiobook that is "for" marriage or "for" divorce, but "for" the freedom to decide how to live most honestly and happily either as part of a couple or a single person.
In the same way that Esther Perel's best-selling Mating in Captivity gave couples a fresh perspective on their married life, so Sacred Cows invites listeners to question assumptions and conventional wisdom. It offers a smart, insightful, and sympathetic view for those in a marital crisis, marriage counsellors, or anyone looking to gain a fresh perspective on one of our most cherished and misunderstood institutions.
©2014 Danielle and Astro Teller (P)2014 Audible Inc.
I heard about this book via a Tim Ferriss podcast with the authors, and it came at just the right time!
I've been in an unsatisfying marriage for a while now and this audio book helped shed some light and perspective on the kind of feedback and reflection I've been receiving from family and friends, as well as the approach of our marriage counsellor and self-help books...
This book states from the start that it's not a self-help book and not designed to help you make decisions about ones marriage, but I sound it helpful in illuminating the issues and also recontextualising the relationship so that I see it's really not that bad, but that something is indeed missing...
Is it bad enough to end the marriage? For now no, I'm happy enough with how things are but hope for improvements...
As for chapter 9... Listen to the book and find out for yourself... Have I met the woman in the coffee shop?
"Wow, great insight!"
To the point
Sometimes it comes across a bit sarcastic but excellent analysis of social understanding or misunderstanding of the marriage and divorce.
"What should be common sense, cutely packaged"
The big take away from this book, in my view, is that no self-help volume filled with generalities or studies involving statistics can possibly be all that useful to individual cases of marriages on the rocks. Everybody has completely unique circumstances, even though some themes may be common. I believe the authors would agree with me, if I summed it up by saying "here is a list of things NOT to think about when considering a divorce." If you find yourself at that point in your life, this quick read may very well help clear your mind.
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