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  • Modern Romance

  • An Investigation
  • By: Aziz Ansari
  • Narrated by: Aziz Ansari
  • Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
  • 4.4 out of 5 stars (835 ratings)
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Modern Romance cover art

Modern Romance

By: Aziz Ansari
Narrated by: Aziz Ansari
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Summary

At some point every one of us embarks on a journey to find love. We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with the hope of finding someone with whom we share a deep connection. This seems standard now, but it's wildly different from what people did even just decades ago. Single people today have more romantic options than at any point in human history. With technology, our abilities to connect with and sort through these options are staggering. So why are so many people frustrated?

Some of our problems are unique to our time."Why did this guy just text me an emoji of a pizza?" "Should I go out with this girl even though she listed Combos as one of her favorite snack foods? Combos?!" "My girlfriend just got a message from some dude named Nathan. Who's Nathan? Did he just send her a photo of his penis? Should I check just to be sure?"

But the transformation of our romantic lives can't be explained by technology alone. In a short period of time, the whole culture of finding love has changed dramatically. A few decades ago, people would find a decent person who lived in their neighbourhood. Their families would meet and, after deciding neither party seemed like a murderer, they would get married and soon have a kid, all by the time they were 24. Today people marry later than ever and spend years of their lives on a quest to find the perfect person, a soul mate.

For years Aziz Ansari has been aiming his comic insight at modern romance, but for Modern Romance the book, he decided he needed to take things to another level. He teamed up with NYU sociologist Eric Klinenberg and designed a massive research project, including hundreds of interviews and focus groups conducted everywhere from Tokyo to Buenos Aires to Wichita. They analysed behavioural data and surveys and created their own online research forum on Reddit, which drew thousands of messages. They enlisted the world's leading social scientists, including Eli Finkel, Helen Fisher, Sheena Iyengar, Barry Schwartz, Sherry Turkle, and Robb Willer. The result is unlike any social science or humour book we've seen before.

In Modern Romance, Ansari combines his irreverent humour with cutting-edge social science to give us an unforgettable tour of our new romantic world.

©2015 Aziz Ansari (P)2015 Penguin Audio

What listeners say about Modern Romance

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  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Funny performance of a rather unenlightening book

Not sure what I was expecting from this book but I didn't really learn much apart from a whole bunch of obvious stuff that you would have known already if you're watching how people of different ages behave around this topic. Younger generations treat each other with less respect, technology devalues individual interactions, online dating increasing choice but also at the expense of quality, etc. It's all pretty predictable stuff. Probably the most interesting chapter was about non-monogamous relationship types, but this didn't go into a whole lot of depth. In fact in a six hour long book, there wasn't really much time to go into depth on any of these topic. It feels like a quick surface survey rather than a full investigation.

It's amusing in places and well performed, but afterwards I didn't really feel I'd got my money's worth.

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3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Include figures in a pdf file.

Jesus. Instead of berating people that they bought an audiobook instead of a book, why don’t you just add a separate pdf with whatever you want to show as? It’s that easy, and many books do it...

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

A lighthearted take on the romantic modern scene

An overall good book, although not as enlightening for the younger reader. As a 22 year old I found a significant portion of it to be stuff I already knew.
The humour, although occasionally hit and miss is generally good, especially if you're an existing fan of Aziz Ansari.
The reading of the book is fairly good, although he has a habit of reading quickly, and can sound a little monotonous at times. I didn't notice this often enough to disrupt my enjoyment of the book however.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Funny and informative

I was pleasantly surprised with the coherent information offered in this book. I didn't expect this from a comedian. I must admit you were funny at times.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Aziz charm and sarcasm gets you hooked

Aziz had really done his research and study for the book. Even if most of the information are obvious. it's the comedic magic of aziz that gets you hooked to this book

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Candid informative and fun

I’ve been a fan of Aziz for a while since Master of None (which also addresses the highs and lows of a modern romance) and after a recommendation from another author of similar subjects (Catherine Gray - The Unexpected Joy of Being Single) I figured I’d give it a go. Aziz starts by mocking us for being lazy and listening to the audiobook, but gets into some very personal experiences of being kept in ‘the waiting place’ and eventually ignored via text by the lady he likes. He then explores if he’s the only one that takes this scenario so personally and finds a load of research that shows that we’re all pretty much the same on the inside.
A very honest and well constructed argument on why today’s ways of ‘hooking up’ are the best the world has ever experienced, but also has its downsides.
A very enjoyable listen!

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

nice and funny

its an easy read. sometimes some of the jokes felt a bit too stretched out but it was an overall nice book

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
  • 4k
  • 11-11-20

Interesting and easy to ready,

It would be good to have a new edition updated for the developments up til 2020, incl. for example some research about dating during the pandemic.
Most of the examples in this book were about at 20-somethings, experiencing their young adulthood and then eventually settling down as a 30-something.
But what about this large bunch of people who are now close to or over 40 and are still searching? This is a growing group, some extra research would be nice.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

21st century dating from statistics, scenarios and silliness

Really enjoyed this take on modern day romance. I came here to learn and grow whilst being entertained and I feel it delivered. My key takeaways is that modern romance is not as bad as it seems, it’s about having a mindset to make the most out of your time and enjoy dating. Like aziz says it’s not dating it’s introductions. Thanks to aziz my new approach will be to be kind, be interesting and be honest. Cheers from the Uk ❤️❤️

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

One of my favourite books/listens.

If you love Aziz, you'll adore this. Like a non-fiction version of Master of None in some odd way. Super entertaining and insightful.

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