At some point every one of us embarks on a journey to find love. We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with the hope of finding someone with whom we share a deep connection. This seems standard now, but it's wildly different from what people did even just decades ago. Single people today have more romantic options than at any point in human history. With technology, our abilities to connect with and sort through these options are staggering. So why are so many people frustrated?
Some of our problems are unique to our time."Why did this guy just text me an emoji of a pizza?" "Should I go out with this girl even though she listed Combos as one of her favorite snack foods? Combos?!" "My girlfriend just got a message from some dude named Nathan. Who's Nathan? Did he just send her a photo of his penis? Should I check just to be sure?"
But the transformation of our romantic lives can't be explained by technology alone. In a short period of time, the whole culture of finding love has changed dramatically. A few decades ago, people would find a decent person who lived in their neighbourhood. Their families would meet and, after deciding neither party seemed like a murderer, they would get married and soon have a kid, all by the time they were 24. Today people marry later than ever and spend years of their lives on a quest to find the perfect person, a soul mate.
For years Aziz Ansari has been aiming his comic insight at modern romance, but for Modern Romance the book, he decided he needed to take things to another level. He teamed up with NYU sociologist Eric Klinenberg and designed a massive research project, including hundreds of interviews and focus groups conducted everywhere from Tokyo to Buenos Aires to Wichita. They analysed behavioural data and surveys and created their own online research forum on Reddit, which drew thousands of messages. They enlisted the world's leading social scientists, including Eli Finkel, Helen Fisher, Sheena Iyengar, Barry Schwartz, Sherry Turkle, and Robb Willer. The result is unlike any social science or humour book we've seen before.
In Modern Romance, Ansari combines his irreverent humour with cutting-edge social science to give us an unforgettable tour of our new romantic world.
©2015 Aziz Ansari (P)2015 Penguin Books Limited
Not sure what I was expecting from this book but I didn't really learn much apart from a whole bunch of obvious stuff that you would have known already if you're watching how people of different ages behave around this topic. Younger generations treat each other with less respect, technology devalues individual interactions, online dating increasing choice but also at the expense of quality, etc. It's all pretty predictable stuff. Probably the most interesting chapter was about non-monogamous relationship types, but this didn't go into a whole lot of depth. In fact in a six hour long book, there wasn't really much time to go into depth on any of these topic. It feels like a quick surface survey rather than a full investigation.
It's amusing in places and well performed, but afterwards I didn't really feel I'd got my money's worth.
A fascinating insight into the social media filled world of why it is so much harder to find love when there is so much choice. A Surprisingly feel good listen.
An overall good book, although not as enlightening for the younger reader. As a 22 year old I found a significant portion of it to be stuff I already knew.
The humour, although occasionally hit and miss is generally good, especially if you're an existing fan of Aziz Ansari.
The reading of the book is fairly good, although he has a habit of reading quickly, and can sound a little monotonous at times. I didn't notice this often enough to disrupt my enjoyment of the book however.
I didn't know of the author or any of his stand up work before purchasing this book. I just needed a break from thrillers, end of world Sci-fi stories, "chosen one" fantasy epics and unorthodox but unparalleled detectives.
I bought this book purely based on the volume of 4 and 5 star reviews and the change or genre. I have to say I found it very refreshing. I laughed out loud in places and found a lot of the research and anecdotes to be fascinating.
I highly recommend it as light entertainment with an educational/informative slant.
I didn't want this to end. Going into this exploration I didn't know what I was in for. I was presently surprised, I learnt a lot and had a lot of personal fears calmed at a time when I needed it.
The performance from Aziz was entertaining, informative and at times I laughed out loud. The level of in depth research was both refreshing and satisfying. I hope he creates further works.
Review: I so enjoyed this book, it is such fun! I listened to this book on audiobook and I actually listened to it with my other half. It was so interesting and thought provoking that it took us ages to listen to because we had to keep stopping it to talk about the observation that had just been made! I think the whole concept of the book is something that should be explored nowadays, the way we date and the way we meet people in general is so different now, so reliant on technology that it is something really interesting to sit down and actually think about. One of the observations towards the end of the book is to do with the fact that we wouldn't speak to someone in real life the way we speak to them on a dating app.
Ansari obviously adds his own humour into this book and that's what really tipped it from a four star into a five star read for me. I was laughing the whole way through. Obviously you can have some Hilarius stories stemming from any kind of dating scenario but particularly online dating and so the subject is funny anyway. When you add Ansari's brand of dry quick witt into there, you've got a match made in heaven! Some of the things he was saying were a little risque and definitely not for the most sensitive of souls, but his brutal honesty was what made it for me really.
I really liked the way the book was structured as well, It is always difficult knowing what to expect with a non-fiction title and this book just had it all for me. I liked the fact that we dealt with one subject matter after another. There were scientific studies, comments from anthropologist, results from surveys and observations from people who are actually living in this age of modern romance from online and in real life interviews. I thought it was a really good way to bring the whole subject together. Of course, because i listened to this on audiobook, I got to hear it read by Aziz Ansari and that added another level to the whole thing but I think I would still like to own a hard copy of the book so that I can see the charts and graphs and studies that lie within.
This was such a fun read but also though-provoking and definitely something that it needed in today's society. Add it to you TBR now!
First off, Aziz is an excellent narrator. He has the kind of voice and delivery that makes you want to listen for just a little longer than you intended. As for the book itself, I found it very informative, interesting and funny. It was enjoyable to hear about all the research and people's stories, some of which many of us including myself will be able to relate to due to the overwhelming amount of ways to meet, talk to and date people.
"Interesting ideas and research."
The author narrates the book which makes it a whole lot funnier. Considering he's a stand up comedian. He also adds a few jokes here and there as an extra.
The ideas and research presented in this book are quite interesting. Like, he talks about relationships and marriage in specific periods, like the 30s, 60s, 80s, 90s. Gives a lot of contrasts compared to modern life. He also talks about dating culture indifferent countries, like Japan and Argentina and the different attitudes of people there. Makes you think about different perspectives and points of view.
I laughed a lot by the author's jokes, and the facts presented here did give me some serious forethought.
I'd highly recommend this as something funny and interesting. If the topic is something that you want to know more about, then definitely give this Audiobook a listen. It really makes you think about modern dating.
"Great reading by Aziz, but expected deeper content"
Yes, love Aziz reading, so much fun.
They did a research to write the book, great job, so much interesting facts, especially the first chapter.
The least interesting is too much time describing how romance are built today, as we didn't know the dynamics. So it gets a bit boring in this way. Expected more of the first chapter rich content.
Loved it. I caught myself laughing out loud many times. Buy it! Interesting topic with hilarious stories and examples.
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