Lori Gottlieb's controversial best seller argues that women often approach love with unreasonably long checklists when they should approach it with an open heart. Mia Barron captures Gottlieb's witty and smart tone. Listening to Barron is like gossiping with a friend; it's hard to stop even when you know you should! With funny anecdotes and revealing personal stories, Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough, may not paint every girl's fairy tale. Still, it imparts a healthy dose of real-world wisdom for listeners ready to be luckier in love. Besides, Gottlieb's humor makes sure this medicine goes down easy.
You have a fulfilling job, a great group of friends, the perfect apartment, and no shortage of dates. So what if you haven't found The One just yet? Surely he'll come along, right? But what if he doesn't? Or even worse, what if he already has, but you just didn't realize it?
Suddenly finding herself 40 and single, Lori Gottlieb said the unthinkable in her March 2008 article in The Atlantic: Maybe she, and single women everywhere, needed to stop chasing the elusive Prince Charming and instead go for Mr. Good Enough. Looking at her friends' happy marriages to good enough guys who happen to be excellent husbands and fathers, Gottlieb declared it time to reevaluate what we really need in a partner.
Her ideas created a firestorm of controversy from outlets like the Today show to The Washington Post, which wrote, "Given the perennial shortage of perfect men, Gottlieb's probably got a point," to Newsweek and NPR, which declared, "Lori Gottlieb didn't want to take her mother's advice to be less picky, but now that she's turned 40, she wonders if her mother is right."
Women all over the world were talking. But while many people agreed that they should have more realistic expectations, what did that actually mean out in the real world, where Gottlieb and women like her were inexorably drawn to their "type"? That's where Marry Him comes in. By looking at everything from culture to biology, Gottlieb frankly explores the dilemma that so many women today seem to face-how to reconcile the strong desire for a husband and family with a list of must-haves so long and complicated that many great guys get rejected out of the gate.
Here Gottlieb shares her own journey in the quest for romantic fulfillment, and in the process gets wise guidance and surprising insights from marital researchers, matchmakers, dating coaches, behavioral economists, neuropsychologists, sociologists, couples therapists, divorce lawyers, and clergy-as well as single and married men and women, ranging in age from their 20s to their 60s. Marry Him is an eye-opening, often funny, sometimes painful, and always truthful in-depth examination of the modern dating landscape - and ultimately, a provocative wake-up call about getting real about Mr. Right.
©2010 Lori Gottlieb (P)2010 HarperCollins Publishers
"I wish I could round up every single woman I know and assign this book for discussion. Gottlieb helps women see how our cultural or private fantasies build up so many expectations that they destroy the possibility of real love and, eventually, marriage. Marry Him is a big fat lesson in how not to get in your own way. Any woman who wants to find true love and hasn't been able to should read this book." (Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., relationship expert at Perfectmatch.com)
Interesting, intelligent, well written and funny book on an important and misunderstood subject. At the very least it will make you think, even if you end up disagreeing with it. Recommended listen to all young people and single people of all ages.
If you ever had a friend that has settled for Mr. Good Enough, you must listen to this book. I laughed the entire time!
I enjoyed this book. My daughter is reading it. I purchased so we could share our thoughts. I have been married for nearly 38 years. I really feel for women at this time because it is tough, for both genders. This author takes the time to go through so many areas. It is very informative. Narration good. Thanks
Must read if you are dating or want to date in the real world.
I love this book and have bought copies for my friends, sister, and counselor. It's a sobering comment on how women so quickly lose out in the finding Mr. Right sweepstakes and should focus, and probably far more successfully, on finding Mr. Good Enough. Her insights on how to approach online dating are a must for anyone who's thinking about it or getting ready to try again. Young women especially should read this book, but it's an eye opener at any age. I highly recommend it.
"couldn't stop listening!"
it was insightful, educational, with numerous ah ha! moments.... almost made me sad... and for a second feeling hopeless, but in the end inspired! thank you for sharing your reality. I truly related on quite a few levels,. It's time to accept how it is, and change what I have the power to do differently 👍
very useful, straight forward, and thought provoking. practical stories that encourage self reflection. worth the easy read!
"This is an important book!"
I loved this book. As a 40-year old single woman and as a psychotherapist and coach.
It's the best relationship/dating book I've read since reading Attached four years ago. That's say a lot, especially since I've recommended Attached to hundreds of people.
I highly highly recommend this book to any women who are single, dating, married, in a relationship, etc. - it is definitely geared towards heterosexual women, but I imagine some of it could apply to lesbian women, too.
"Reality at its best!"
A sixty-five year old, sophisticated woman introduced me to this book and at first I was skeptical. Her words keep haunting me. She kept repeating:"You don't need a ten to get married, an eight is great!" I was curious as to what made her get married again at such a matured age? Here I was, 37 and I could't even get a date!
I met a guy but treated him like a friend as I worked abroad and did not see him as a potential someone. To my ignorance, he was falling in love with me and my standoffish attitude made him want me more.
While listening to this audio book, I realized that what I thought was not my type, might just be my type!
I listened to the book twice just to make sure.
Happy to say, I am now in a committed relationship with a man who adores me. He showers me with love and attention. He is loving and caring. And to think I almost made a mistake of letting him pass just because I had a higher opinion of myself and what I deserved, I thought he is too quiet and I thought he was too scrawny!
I now say:"Bring it on!" He turned out to be the love of my life.
I would never have been able to find love had I not changed my opinion about dating. This book states the reality of how we see love. I would definitely recommend this book!!! It changed my life!
"Wow......Super Helpful for Resolving Perpetual Relationship Ambivalence"
So much research in here from a true variety of sources. The book is highly repetitive, which is exactly what is needed to drill sense into our heads and get singles AND marrieds to stop repeating our relationship mistakes! This sermon on ridding ourselves of destructive societally normative expectations of perfection is truly humane and so needed in today's throwaway society.....:.
I liked her overall theme and intention in the book, but found that it was quite repetitive. It did make me look at dating differently.
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