We are currently making improvements to the Audible site. In an effort to enhance the accessibility experience for our customers, we have created a page to more easily navigate the new experience, available at the web address www.audible.co.uk/access.
The Amateurs Audiobook

The Amateurs

Regular Price:£21.99
  • Membership Details:
    • First book free with 30-day trial
    • £7.99/month thereafter for your choice of 1 new book each month
    • Cancel easily anytime
    • Exchange books you don't like
    • All selected books are yours to keep, even if you cancel
  • - or -

Publisher's Summary

Gary is a sweet and decent man. Only two things would improve his life - having children with his gorgeous wife, Pauline, and a lower golf handicap. Both are unlikely.

Pauline is wondering how she ended up living in an ugly little house, driving a second-hand car and making a living dressing up as Tinker Bell. She's planning to leave Gary for a self-made carpet millionaire.

Findlay, the Carpet King of Scotland, wants to trade in his obese wife for a younger model. But if he goes for a divorce, she'll take him to the cleaners. If only there was some way she could be made to disappear....

Lee, Gary's luckless brother, has botched one too many drug deals. Local crime overlord Ranta Campbell gives him one more job - one last chance to get it right. Lee's done some bad things - but murder?

When Gary gets smashed on the head by a golf ball and miraculously develops an absolutely perfect swing, everyone finds their fates rest on the final day of the Open Championship....

©2015 John Niven (P)2015 Random House AudioBooks

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.7 (32 )
5 star
 (25)
4 star
 (5)
3 star
 (1)
2 star
 (0)
1 star
 (1)
Overall
4.5 (30 )
5 star
 (20)
4 star
 (7)
3 star
 (2)
2 star
 (0)
1 star
 (1)
Story
4.8 (30 )
5 star
 (27)
4 star
 (2)
3 star
 (0)
2 star
 (0)
1 star
 (1)
Performance
Sort by:
  •  
    Greg Otford, United Kingdom 11/12/2015
    Greg Otford, United Kingdom 11/12/2015 Member Since 2012

    metanoia72

    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    12
    2
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Funniest book I've ever heard/read"

    Never has a book made me laugh out loud as much as this one did. John Nivens best book in my opinion, however they are all great.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    ch00w00 05/09/2016
    ch00w00 05/09/2016 Member Since 2015
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    5
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "a bit golf heavy"

    a bit too much golf but made up for by swearing, quite funny and interesting characters.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Lesley 19/07/2016
    Lesley 19/07/2016
    HELPFUL VOTES
    4
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    18
    8
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Got it!"

    Thoroughly enjoyed this story. As a crap golfer, I can relate to Gary's predicament and all crap golfers will just get it.
    I laughed out loud on several occasions .
    WARNING: The coarse language isn't for the faint of heart. Don't have your car windows down in slow traffic when listening to this; you could get into trouble.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Peter Evans 16/07/2016
    Peter Evans 16/07/2016 Member Since 2008
    HELPFUL VOTES
    4
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    120
    18
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "I laugh out loud"
    What did you like most about The Amateurs?

    I know I should not but I laugh out loud at the affliction. Good book well read


    What was one of the most memorable moments of The Amateurs?

    No spoilers from me


    What about Angus King’s performance did you like?

    Good voices for all characters


    Did you have an emotional reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    I laugh out loud


    Any additional comments?

    Good ending

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Barry 18/04/2016
    Barry 18/04/2016 Member Since 2016
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    10
    3
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "loved it from start to finish"

    an amazing listen which made me laugh throughout and I will be listening to it again during the holiday season. brilliant

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

Report Inappropriate Content

If you find this review inappropriate and think it should be removed from our site, let us know. This report will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.

Cancel

Thank you.

Your report has been received. It will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.