We are currently making improvements to the Audible site. In an effort to enhance the accessibility experience for our customers, we have created a page to more easily navigate the new experience, available at the web address www.audible.co.uk/access.
Holy Cow Audiobook

Holy Cow

Regular Price:£19.99
  • Membership Details:
    • First book free with 30-day trial
    • £7.99/month thereafter for your choice of 1 new book each month
    • Cancel easily anytime
    • Exchange books you don't like
    • All selected books are yours to keep, even if you cancel
  • - or -

Publisher's Summary

A rollicking, globe-trotting adventure with a twist from the star of The X-Files and Californication, featuring Elsie, an unforgettable four-legged heroine.

Holy Cow by David Duchovny is a comic delight that will thrill fans of Jasper Fforde and Ben Aaronovitch. And anyone who enjoys a witty wisecrack in a novel.

Elsie Bovary is a cow and a pretty happy one at that. Until one night,Elsie sneaks out of the pasture and finds herself drawn to the farmhouse. Through the window she sees the farmer's family gathered around a bright Box God--and what the Box God reveals about something called an "industrial meat farm" shakes Elsie's understanding of her world to its core.

The only solution? To escape to a better, safer world. And so a motley crew is formed: Elsie; Shalom, a grumpy pig who's recently converted to Judaism; and Tom, a suave turkey who can't fly,but can work an iPhone with his beak. Toting stolen passports and slapdash human disguises, they head for the airport...

Elsie is a wisecracking, slyly witty narrator; Tom dispenses psychiatric advice in a fake German accent; and Shalom ends up unexpectedly uniting Israelis and Palestinians.

David Duchovny's charismatic creatures point the way toward a mutual understanding and acceptance the world desperately needs.

©2015 David Duchovny (P)2015 Macmillan Audio

What the Critics Say

"David Duchovny is a very smart and wryly entertaining actor, and now, novelist. Although I will never publicly admit to jealousy, I am having him killed." (Rob Lowe)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.2 (48 )
5 star
 (27)
4 star
 (11)
3 star
 (5)
2 star
 (3)
1 star
 (2)
Overall
4.1 (44 )
5 star
 (26)
4 star
 (7)
3 star
 (4)
2 star
 (5)
1 star
 (2)
Story
4.6 (44 )
5 star
 (36)
4 star
 (4)
3 star
 (2)
2 star
 (0)
1 star
 (2)
Performance
Sort by:
  •  
    Fuentes Perivancich Pamela 01/02/2016 Member Since 2010
    HELPFUL VOTES
    18
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    322
    24
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "It's a laugh with a moral"

    Yes, it's pretty funny.
    The author reads it even funnier.
    Some parts don't make sense (like using technology at once but having to learn concepts), but it just adds to the charm.
    And, of course you get your dose of moral with it.
    I loved it!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Melonie 21/01/2016
    Melonie 21/01/2016
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    1
    1
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Brilliant, fun and laughter told so well by David"

    Haven't read a book in ages but this really made me start, not only listen which was great being told by David Dechovney but also read the book aswell. Fun loving and crazy made me laugh and enjoy reading again.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Natalie 12/01/2016
    Natalie 12/01/2016 Member Since 2014
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    3
    1
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Cow-A-Bunga"

    Excellent, it's like the wonder years for barnyard animals. I can see this being animated in the vain of Archer.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Golfmadiano 04/10/2015
    Golfmadiano 04/10/2015 Member Since 2014
    HELPFUL VOTES
    2
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    2
    1
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Self aware cows......"

    I like David Duchovny but this is not good, it's like he's trying to teach you a lesson by reading you a children's story, at least it's pretty short.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Mrs 23/07/2015
    Mrs 23/07/2015
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    1
    1
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "loved it!! "

    this was much better than I expected it to be, David narrates the book perfectly.. highly recommended!!!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Emily 15/05/2015
    Emily 15/05/2015 Member Since 2014
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    8
    4
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Very clever, really funny and thought provoking"

    Loved it, very well written. its been quite a while since a book has made me laugh out loud. Brilliant.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    miss Southport, United Kingdom 23/03/2015
    miss Southport, United Kingdom 23/03/2015
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    10
    2
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Brilliant & Funny"

    I absolutely loved this book. Brilliant and funny throughout. It's a must for everyone - adults and children will enjoy it equally.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Bbrown 27/02/2015
    Bbrown 27/02/2015
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    4
    1
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Excellent."

    An intelligent and witty social commentry of humanity and environmentalism. Didn't know what to expect but I loved this. Glad I got the audio book because Duchovony performance was entertaining and exactly how it supposed to sound

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer 27/06/2016 Member Since 2016
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    1
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "witty and cheerful"

    witty and cheerful .

    A unique POV perspective into the lives of bovine creatures. as subtlety humorous as playfully insightful.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Julja 15/03/2016
    Julja 15/03/2016 Member Since 2012
    HELPFUL VOTES
    15
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    291
    17
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Loved it!"

    Can't wait to listen to more of David 's work. Especially if he's narrating! Love the humour!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

Report Inappropriate Content

If you find this review inappropriate and think it should be removed from our site, let us know. This report will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.

Cancel

Thank you.

Your report has been received. It will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.