And I thought being half Vampyre/half Demon was hard.... That's nothing compared to being a mother. Sweet baby Moses in a boob tube, there aren't any books on raising True Immortals, so let me give you a few tips....
Make a map of every closet and bathroom in your home if you enjoy having sex. Sleep deprivation can cause confusion, and a map will help if you have only seven minutes and 31 seconds. You're welcome.
Parenting books are useless if you're not human. If your child is half Vampyre/half Demon, I would suggest not using parenting books at all - they can backfire like a mother humper. Trust me on this.
When your child tells you he has an imaginary friend, do not discount this as fantasy. Oftentimes your child isn't imagining anything. If he persists with alarming and violent stories about this fictional buddy, it's probably a Troll. Do a thorough search of your home, and kill it. Decapitation works best. Some imaginary friends are harmless. However, it's wise not to take chances.
Have sex again.
When in large crowds, make sure you hold tight to your child's hand. Losing a child in an amusement park is terrifying. If you're truly paranoid, you could consider putting a chip in your child. If you do this, don't discuss it at dinner parties. People will think you are weird.
At least cuddle.
Playing with dolls is fun. Being one? No so much. If your child ever finds a Genie in a bottle, flush it immediately. Many children wish for things that are very difficult to reverse...like being doll sized. If this happens, move to Oz. There are many people of small stature there. And yes, it really does exist.
Find a closet, and go to town.
©2015 Robyn Peterman (P)2016 Audible, Inc.
I found this audio just as captivating as the rest of the series. I love the world Ms Peterman creates and the fun stuff her characters get up to. The narration was perfect and really brought the story to life. I was disappointed when it finished, I have to say.
"Holly Hotness This Story was Awesome!"
Fashionably Dead in Diapers is another great additional to the Hot Damned series. It's insanely funny, sexy as sin, and never a dull moment.
Robyn Peterman has made it an art in creating funny, sassy, colorful phrases that will have you laughing out loud and with Jessica Almasy's flawless performance, she animates them superbly.
Astrid and Ethan are one of the funnies couples. They have their hands full with their new baby, Samuel, who is growing at an alarming rate, and has lots of powers and can animate inanimate objects like couches and chairs.... that's recipe for disaster. When they finally get some "alone time," their role playing fantasies will have you laughing out loud; however, when Samuel is kidnaped and Astrid losses her memory, things get really bad.
I have really enjoyed listening to this series, but be warned, if you do not like bad language, this story is full of justified bad language. Definitely worth the credit and time invested in listening to the story.
Oh.My.Hell, Robyn Peterman has done it again! She's succeeded in making me laugh my ass off (I wish)! Only warning, do not read this after having a 2 day stomach bug. She can dream up some truly craptastic visuals that will leave you in tears!
"So funny! Pure entertainment!"
I love these books- they are so over the top they keep me laughing start to finish.
This is such a fun book; this is the fourth book in the Fashionably Dead: Hot Damned series written by Robyn Peterman and narrated by Jessica Almasy. Once I started listening to it I didn’t want to put it down until the end. This book is great, it is laugh out loud funny. Astrid and Ethan are back with a baby, Samuel. When and Evil Queen threatens Samuel, Astrid gets some help from her crazy friends and family. The book is full of insane and hilarious characters.
The narrator Jessica Almasy did a great job with this book. She did a great job with the different voices of each character in this book. It was very easy to listen to in one sitting and I didn’t want to stop listening until the end.
If you are looking for a great book with great characters then you need to listen to this book. I am looking forward to listening to the next book by this author and narrator.
A Review copy was provided to me in exchange for a fair and honest review. The free book held no determination on my personal review.
"awesome story you don't want to end! "
wicked funny...can't help fall in love with all the people! she does a great job reading !
"Very funny family!"
One of the funniest series I have ever read, hope there are many more books to come and that baby doesn't grow up very quickly.
"Astrid is at it again."
Yes I would listen to this book again. I love Astrid and baby Samuel. The narrator is great.
Any scene where Sammy causes trouble.
I love this series and will read/listen to everything that Robyn adds to it.
Another laugh out loud story that makes you smile. This time we had to make a trip to the land of faeries as some mother humper has taken Samuel and they have to go get him. Now for Astrid, Ethan, and the Kev it should be no problem. Well...at least until Astrid got knocked out and got amnesia. Yep now we are back to what we are used to. Strange and unusual fun. Lots of new friends and many laughs. Just what I like. I am so looking forward to the next story and laughs that go with it.
Jessica did another amazing job. Her timing and joy throughout make this story so great to listen to. Am looking forward to hearing many more.
"Another amazing addition to this series"
I loved both versions. I do love how the narrator brought the story to life for me. She does an outstanding job with the different voices and they were so like I actually heard them in my head as I was reading the book.
How much Ethan shows his love for Astrid even when she forgets who he is to her
She brings it to life. The way she does different voices for the characters is great
It made me laugh my ass off. Its one you don't want to be eating or drinking while you listen to is as you may spit out your food
If you liked either the Kindle or Print version of this book then you are going to adore the audio version. I loved it and hated every time I had to stop listening to it. Robyn writes an amazing story one that you will get involved in from page one. Her narrator does an outstanding job of bringing the characters to life. If you are an audio book fan you don't want to miss this one.
"Best one yet!"
Seriously, if the title of this review isn't enough, just go read the synopsis! "Sweet Baby Moses in a boob tube," says it all! You're welcome.
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