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Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou Audiobook

Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou: The Tome of Bill Series: Books 1-4

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Publisher's Summary

There are reasons we fear the dark. Bill Ryder...isn't one of them. Gamer, geek, and legendary vampire - The Tome of Bill is the tale of an unlikely hero trying to survive in a world of undead horrors. Despite awesome supernatural powers, loyal allies, and an attitude the size of Brooklyn, the odds are still stacked heavily against him. Bill Ryder must fulfill his destiny and save the world from the ancient terrors that threaten it - all while trying to work up the nerve to ask out the girl of his dreams.

©2013 Rick Gualtieri (P)2015 Rick Gualtieri

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.4 (68 )
5 star
 (40)
4 star
 (20)
3 star
 (6)
2 star
 (1)
1 star
 (1)
Overall
4.4 (64 )
5 star
 (37)
4 star
 (19)
3 star
 (6)
2 star
 (1)
1 star
 (1)
Story
4.5 (64 )
5 star
 (39)
4 star
 (20)
3 star
 (4)
2 star
 (0)
1 star
 (1)
Performance
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  •  
    Peter Sweeney Durham 23/05/2016
    Peter Sweeney Durham 23/05/2016 Member Since 2015

    Sween79

    HELPFUL VOTES
    7
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    8
    4
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    0
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    Overall
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    "Bill rules!"

    Not only is this four books for the price of one, but it's more importantly four superb books!

    The characters are really likeable, the humour is great and the story lines are surprising and well thought out! Can't recommend it enough and can't wait to get the next book either!

    If I could find any negatives, the recap bits explaining what has happened in previous books is a tad annoying at times (maybe because I listened to them one after another) but also because why would you read/listen to book two, three or four without reading the previous!

    4 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Helen Ingall England 17/04/2016
    Helen Ingall England 17/04/2016 Member Since 2014

    Helen

    HELPFUL VOTES
    13
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    27
    21
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    FOLLOWING
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    3
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    "bill series"

    Loved it a great listen to and easy to follow with twists and turns all the way. cannot wait hear the next episode.

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Peter 28/09/2016
    Peter 28/09/2016 Member Since 2016
    HELPFUL VOTES
    9
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    4
    3
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    "fantastic and fun."

    I enjoyed every minute of every book. Some great nerd culture references and well sustained humour as well as some kick ass fight scenes. These characters have become, as all the great ones do, good friends of mine. looking forwards to the next on the list.

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    BJXRN 18/06/2017
    BJXRN 18/06/2017
    HELPFUL VOTES
    8
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    11
    5
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
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    Performance
    Story
    "Story OK but humor unsophisticated and crude"
    Is there anything you would change about this book?

    Less crude underpanties-humor. For that reason stopped listening early.


    Would you be willing to try another book from Rick Gualtieri? Why or why not?

    No. Authors tend to be consistent in their language and humor.


    Could you see Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou being made into a movie or a TV series? Who would the stars be?

    The percentage of people who can identify with the hero is small. Single gamers mainly.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Diz Birmingham 07/11/2016
    Diz Birmingham 07/11/2016 Member Since 2015
    HELPFUL VOTES
    7
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    41
    3
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    "oh bill!!"

    loved it. Need more. bill is my type of guy lol Sally is so cool

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
Sort by:
  • Bill Bucket
    18/11/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "How the books are divided inside:"
    Any additional comments?

    If, like me you listened to the first and/or second book before seeing or wanting this omnibus edition here is how the books are divided, so you can skip to the new material:

    Book 1 - Starts on Chapter 01
    Book 2 - Starts on Chapter 28
    Book 3 - Starts on Chapter 54
    Book 4 - Starts on Chapter 95

    Should save some skipping around and accidentally getting any spoilers. Very funny books, I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

    30 of 30 people found this review helpful
  • Cris
    23/06/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Thanks for killing the Edward Image!!!"
    What made the experience of listening to Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou the most enjoyable?

    A flawed 'Hero' Love Bill and Sally team!! Not for the easily offended, delicate female sensibilities. Tired of seeing women bag on this book. I only read books with strong female characters and this has it!! Bill is a pawn in play and the toughest women are running the show.


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    Sally!! People that complains about the way women are viewed fails to embrace the fact that the character with the most brains and balls in this book is one. If you don't like the strong kick a** female who embraces he inner b**ch go back to waiting for your big strong Edward to save you and being tied up with gray things, eye roll.


    What does Christopher John Fetherolf bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    Brings out the goof in Bill perfect.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    Visit from my second favorite kick a** female Gan. What would Bill be without those frisky she vamps in his afterlife?


    Any additional comments?

    What a refreshing escape from the offended by every little thing world and media. This book is thankfully not politically correct thank goodness.

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  • Donald
    03/05/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Fun!!"

    I was put off at first do to some of the reviews and the name of the book and that it was about vampires. Glad I took the leap! Amazing series! cant wait for the next book! It has a lot of crude humor and a different approach to the vampire life style! One of my Favorite series!

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • STEVEN
    Ohio
    06/04/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Freaking great."
    Would you listen to Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou again? Why?

    Maybe down the road, as I really enjoyed the stories.


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou?

    The intro of Turd :) lol.


    What does Christopher John Fetherolf bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    He's great. For me he IS Bill.


    Who was the most memorable character of Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou and why?

    Bill or one of his two friends


    Any additional comments?

    Keep them coming!

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Tammie
    04/04/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Great book, not so great editing."

    Personally I love this story. Character growth is lacking a bit but all in all it is a really fun story that I will surely listen to more than once.

    I thought the narrator was an excellent choice for the voice of Bill. My only problem was the many mispronounced words, including but not limited to, Vi-o-la, and Lord Voldemont? Also, the editing could have been better. Particularly in the fourth book.

    For me these issues were minor and did not take anything away from the story. I will definitely be purchasing the rest of the series.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Bartleby the Scrivener
    Indanapolis, IN United States
    21/10/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Problems with the narrator"
    Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?

    I would recommend this to friends, while advising them of pronunciation issues.


    What didn’t you like about Christopher John Fetherolf’s performance?

    The narrator's performance is great in terms of cadence, inflection, and keeping the story moving, but he's sorely lacking in areas of pronunciation. For example, 'voila' is pronounced 'voi-la', not 'vio-la' (like the musical instrument), 'Tatooine' (Luke Skywalker's home planet) is pronounced, 'Tattoo-een', not 'Tattoo-knee.' 'Caste' (the word referring to the methods of formal social stratification in some countries and groups) rhymes with 'cast' and not 'cased.'

    If you're going to narrate professionally, get a copy of the NBC Handbook, Fowler's Modern English Usage, or The Big Book of Beastly Mispronunciations first.


    Any additional comments?

    Overall, it's a very good story, but the narrator's mispronunciation turns it from a nice five star experience to a high three or low four star experience.

    20 of 26 people found this review helpful
  • david sorlagas
    16/01/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Really poor narration!!"

    I own literally hundreds of audio books, and have heard a lot of narrators, but this is the first time I've been embarrassed for the narrator. If you don't know the difference between 'angles' and 'angels', or between 'caste' and 'cased', then narration may not be the right job for you. If you can't pronounce the word denizens, then you shouldn't be hired to read sci-fi or fantasy. Not to mention, the overdramatic way he reads in general makes the whole story, especially the dialogues, sound really awkward.

    The writing is fairly amateur / juvenile, but could have been helped out by a more mature or professional reading. Even once they decided to use this narrator, they could have at least done a better job in production. If anyone had bothered to edit the audio, they could have removed a lot of repeats and reading errors, as well as some of the pronunciation errors.

    I don't normally write reviews, but then, this is the first time I've rated a book so badly, even though I didn't completely hate it. The story itself kept my attention, despite the problems. I wish the production had been better.

    8 of 11 people found this review helpful
  • Tyler U.
    10/04/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "I very much enjoyed this book"
    Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

    In short, yes. I already recommended this audiobook to a couple of friends who have similar taste in books.


    What did you like best about this story?

    I loved the irreverent nature of the book and enjoyed the combination of the main character's internal monologue and story.


    Which character – as performed by Christopher John Fetherolf – was your favorite?

    Obviously, Bill would be a favorite. After all, he's the Free Will, and the main character. I really enjoyed several characters, though, as the narrator did a great job of bringing the characters to life.


    Who was the most memorable character of Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou and why?

    I loved the friends that Bill surrounds himself with. The love/hate relationship with Sally, the stoic, borderline sociopath Eric, the annoying moron, Tom... loved them all.


    Any additional comments?

    I really enjoyed this series and will definitely pick the rest of them up, even though they aren't in a boxed set.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • ROBERT A. DALUZ
    22/03/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Love, love these books!!"
    What made the experience of listening to Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou the most enjoyable?

    They are laugh out loud funny! From the first few sentences I was hooked! I had to buy the whole series. I love the narrator he sounds just like what I imagine Bill would be like.


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    Of course it's Bill. I enjoy his smart aleck quips and come backs.


    What does Christopher John Fetherolf bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    He brings the book and Bill to life! He is great! How he reads this book was one reason I bought the whole series.


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    Not only the book but the whole series! I have a long stressful commute to work and back and listening to this series helps a lot to get away from it all. I probably look like a crazy person sitting in my car alone in traffic laughing.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Robert
    Ft. Benning, GA
    23/12/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "A vampire comedy with too much immaturity to stomach."

    I made it to the second book before I got too annoyed with the characters to listen any further. I wanted to like these books, vampire comedy's sounds like a great premise, but characters are so unlikeable. Casual murder of innocence is supposed to amusing. Characters consist of every stereotype you ever heard about geeks, men, jocks, strippers, and blondes. The comedy consists mainly of characters insulting one another and every character does this. Makes all the characters extreme unlikeable. As the plot is simple the characters make or break these books.

    Reader was fine he mainly sticks to his actual voice and nothing is really jarring. Still the lack of diversity in character voices makes me give a 4 star rating on performance.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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