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Parsnips, Buttered Audiobook

Parsnips, Buttered: Bamboozle and Boycott Modern Life, One Email at a Time

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Publisher's Summary

Funny and brilliant, listen as British comedian Joe Lycett narrates his own witty, tongue-in-cheek guide to modern life. A dynamic stage performer, Lycett brings his hilarious debut audiobook to life with his unique brand of laugh-out-loud anecdotes and musings.

In this book I have attempted to solve each and every one of life's problems. And I have succeeded.

Dear Listener,

Using letters, emails, tweets and telegrams I will show you how the things in your life that make you sad, low or anxious can soon appear trivial, insignificant and like a fish. In short, I will butter your parsnips.

Life is hard. We are a bombarded generation: Facebook, billboards, Twitter, Instagram, taxes, newspapers, watches monitoring our sleep, apps that read our pulse, terrorism. There's such an onslaught to the senses these days it's a marvel any of us manage to get out of bed. I love bed.

While we are overwhelmed and confused by the miasmic cloud of information, there are those that seek to take advantage: there are parking fines, hate tweets, Nigerian email scams and Christmas newsletters from old school friends about their ugly kids. And just as we're getting round to doing something about it, we're distracted again.

I, Joe Lycett, comedian, wordsmith, and professional complainer, am here to help. During my short life of doing largely nothing I've discovered solutions to many of life's problems, which I impart to you, dear Listener. Containing a centurion of complaint letters to unsuspecting celebrities, companies and anyone brave enough to clog up my phone, as well as illustrations, one-liners, jokes and life hacks, this little gem offers you a collection of tips and advice* for all manner of modern woe. By the time you have finished listening to this book you will have learnt how to:

  • Reverse a parking fine
  • Manipulate the tabloid press
  • Navigate social media
  • Respond to hate mail
  • Out-weird Internet trolls
  • Contest a so-called ripe avocado
  • Send the perfect Christmas newsletter
  • Defeat ISIS
  • Take down multinational companies

AND MUCH, MUCH MORE!

Joe Lycett x

* If you are looking for guidance with taxes, quitting smoking, moving house, love, divorce, education, health care or anything actually important may I recommend speaking to friends or family members and not consulting a book by a comedian who eats halloumi at least twice a day.

©2016 Joe Lycett (P)2016 Hodder & Stoughton

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  •  
    Ed Goodman 15/11/2016
    Ed Goodman 15/11/2016 Member Since 2016

    Social Media Guide, Freelance Mentor, author, Cambs' premier coworking spaces founder, FA licensed football coach, & coffee addict.

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Hilarious. Hope you're well xx"

    Madness and mayhem are two perfect words to describe Joe and any conversation that involves an email from him. A very funny way to spend 3 and a bit hours.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Helen Leask 07/11/2016
    Helen Leask 07/11/2016 Member Since 2013
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    "if you want to laugh. listen"

    well that just made me cry with laughter.
    seriously funny, brilliantly read. I wish he was my new best friend

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Patrick 07/11/2016
    Patrick 07/11/2016
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    "Made me giggle from start to finish!"

    What a laugh, Joe and his stories are fantastic, narrated really well, didn't want it to end, can't wait for more!

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Katie 06/11/2016
    Katie 06/11/2016
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    "best comedian of all time "

    Joe Lycett is my favourite comedian for a number of reasons. He is the stereotypical British complainer, however he takes it 5000 steps further than the ordinary brit with his hilarious whit, glitter and Fox photos. Taking a stab at recent politics and parking enforcement officers is what he does best, and thankfully he does it very well. His multiple aliases rattle the bones off many snobby idiots, ranging from homophobic twats to professional casinos. Britain at its finest.

    I now have the tools to piss off anybody who tries to annoy me. thanks Joe.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Laura Halifax UK 21/10/2016
    Laura Halifax UK 21/10/2016 Member Since 2016
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    "Very, very funny"

    Be careful if you are listening to this while driving. There were times I laughed so much I nearly crashed the car!!

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    C Stevenson 13/01/2017
    C Stevenson 13/01/2017 Member Since 2016
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    "Frickin hilarious"

    This book made me laugh a lot, I love Joe Lickit's work :) listened twice through

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    WildMike Kent, UK 12/01/2017
    WildMike Kent, UK 12/01/2017 Member Since 2012

    WildMike

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    "Superbly performed and hilarious."

    Sarcastic and retortive humour at it's finest. Lycett satisfyingly gives life's little irritants both barrels.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Mr. Trevor D. Luckett United kingdom 02/01/2017
    Mr. Trevor D. Luckett United kingdom 02/01/2017 Member Since 2016
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    "great book"

    loved the book. seen clip on cats do countdown and got book to hear more. very funny.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Louise 29/10/2016
    Louise 29/10/2016 Member Since 2014
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    "Amazing"

    One of the funniest and wittiest comedians today. This book was a breeze to to listen to, absolutely perfect and I'm already hoping he writes another one.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Gareth Mugridge 15/11/2016
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    "Hopefully doth butter these parsnips!"

    Have listened to this through 8 times in 2 weeks. Brilliant! Joe's performance really excels. SAMANTHA PETERSON!

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
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  • annalie
    UK
    09/11/16
    Overall
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    Story
    "Hilarious"

    Love being a moron? Joe is your natural leader. Perfect antidote to Trump winning the election

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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