When overweight treadmill salesman Reginald Baskin finally meets a co-worker who doesn't make fun of him, it's just his own bad luck that tech guy Maurice turns out to be a two thousand-year-old vampire.
And when Maurice turns Reginald to save his life, it's just Reginald's own further bad luck that he wakes up to discover he's become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever born, doomed to "heal" to his corpulent self for all of eternity.
As Reginald struggles with the downsides of being a fat vampire - too slow to catch people to feed on, mocked by those he tries to glamour, assaulted by his intended prey and left for undead - he discovers in himself rare powers that few vampires have...and just in time too, because the Vampire Council might just want his head for being an inferior representative of their race.
Fat Vampire is the story of an unlikely hero who, after having an imperfect eternity shoved into his grease-stained hands, must learn to turn the afterlife's lemons into tasty lemon danishes.
©2012 Johnny B. Truant (P)2014 Johnny B. Truant
This book is so funny. I had wondered myself what would happen if someone was 'turned' while fat. This book answers that question better than I could have hoped for. Funny, sad and poignant, in society's obsession with physical perfection, even vampire society. Loved it.
"Grows On You and becames Warm and Fuzzy"
HE'D GIVEN UP DAYTIME AND DONUTS
Don't let the cover of the book fool you. This is a well written book with a great central character. It is not LOL funny, not like Moore's Vampire series, but it is smile funny. I am a sucker for misfit type books and a FAT VAMPIRE is a misfit vampire. It took me a little while to warm up to it, but by the middle of the book, I could not stop listening. I especially love the theme of the book. I am buying book two. When you buy and listen to the book, don't give up until the little girl enters the picture. The story really took off from there.
The narrator reads real slow, I put him on 1.25 and he sounded normal. At 1.5 he would probably still sound normal.
I really like the idea of an overweight vampire. It's fresh and new and it promises something different. Alhough it was original it really didn't take off. Wasn't as clever as I hoped it would and it falls a little flat. No believability in dialog or characters either. There were some great ideas, but all and all it reminds me of a rough draft. In different hands this story really could have turned out well.
"Who Doesn't Like A Funny Vampyre Story?"
Yeah, it's good, clever, entertaining. But it's 4 hours. The series will have to be heavily discounted before I spend a credit or 10.95 on a 4 hour book. 2 for one would work for me.
But it is entertaining for those curious and not bothered by the length.
"It wasn't bad but......"
It also wasn't great. I read and or listen to ALOT of books.....Seriously. On average I got thru 5-7 books a week my main focuses are horror, thriller, erotic romance, and humor. This should have fit into a couple of these genre's but it just didn't do it for me. Frankly I looked forward to it being over with so I could get on to my next book.
It wasn't bad....sort of "cute" I guess. It was a little like trying to make the best out of a bad fat blind date.
Frankly at 10 Bucks or one precious credit per very short story I'm sort of relieved I didn't love it.
From a guy who "does two things writes and teaches you to become legendary" I was expecting more "WOW" and "meh".
"You've never read a vampire tale like this."
Bram Stoker wrote the rules on vampires. Those rules held firm until Anne Rice came along. She changed the rules and upped the sexy. Now, vampires are everywhere and come in myriad varieties. There are sparkly vampires, time traveling vampires, no-need-for-blood vampires, demon vampires, Christian vampires — all kinds of vampires. Authors have been set free from the Stoker and Rice rules, but apparently, one rule remains. Vampires must be hot. Dead, apparently, is sexy. It’s the unbreakable vampire rule. Until now.
Johnny B. Truant has written a hilarious book about a …you guessed it … fat vampire. Turns out, dead really isn’t so sexy after all. Just ask Reginald.
Reginald Baskin is an overweight, middle-aged cog in the modern corporate machine. He’s totally average, completely ordinary, except that he is fat. Very, very fat. Reginald is a playground bully’s wet dream — that kind of fat.
When Reginald goes on a rare evening out with the new guy at the office, he gets a lot more than he bargained for. What he gets is dead. Vampires have to be hot, right? Everybody knows that, so Reginald is initially pretty stoked. But it soon becomes clear that the “hot” rule is not going to apply to him. His maker informs him that when people make the decision to become one of the undead, they train relentlessly to acquire the body and skills that they’ll have for eternity. Over time, their natural talents and aptitudes will get a boost, but it’s not a sure bet from the outset. Since Reginald’s turning was a spur of the moment situation, he’s destined to spend eternity in his own, fat body.
Reginald’s efforts to thwart the realities of his new existence were both touching and entertaining. Sure, this is a vampire tale, and we all know there are enough of those around, but Truant goes out of his way to avoid all the usual vampire tropes and tells a fresh story with humor as its anchor.
The author’s conversational style and tone is a perfect fit for spoken narration. From the second I started Fat Vampire, it was as though I’d just sat down at the local pub, and the guy next to me said, ‘Hey, let me tell you what happened to this guy I know.’
"A great audiobook to a great book"
I received this audiobook as a review copy from the author. I had already bought the Value Pack a few weeks before but hadn't gotten around to reading it, so I figured it was a good time to start. I'll keep my review strictly to the audiobook, but I will say that I enjoyed the story. It was fresh, original, and hilarious--probably one of the few stories this year that actually made me laugh out loud while reading.
The quality of the audiobook is excellent. The narrator does an exceptional job with the characters. His expression was spot on for each, and he did a great job switching between narration and voices. I particularly liked Reginald and Logan's character voices (especially Logan's). The narrator is clearly a professional, and he "got" the novel.
I enjoyed the performance, too. A lot of audiobooks I've heard are simple reads of the book. When needed, the narrator actually acted out the scenes and gave the characters emotion, which I wish more narrators would do. This audiobook will keep you engaged and entertained the whole time.
My only criticism of the audio version is that there were a few sections where there were either: hesitation on the part of the narrator or sentences/paragraphs repeated twice, which was slightly jarring. But as someone who produces audiobooks myself, I understand that you can't catch everything. These don't detract from the overall experience of the novel and are easily fixable by the narrator.
I highly recommend this audiobook to anyone looking for a great novel to listen to while traveling to/from work, or if you like audiobooks. It won't disappoint. I assume that this will be available on WhisperSync for Voice, which will make it an even better deal because Book 1 in the series is free anyway, and you can get the audiobook for super cheap!
"A vampire for the rest of us"
I'd rate them similarly for their functionality. The audio edition can be listened to while doing many activities. Due to that, my mind tends to wander and I have to re-listen to segments. The print version keeps me focused, but I can't get much else done. I switch between them as my needs arise (though WhisperSync would be a welcome addition).
Certainly Reginald is my favorite. The way he handles his transformation into vampirism with his difficulties makes the story far more intriguing than your typical pretty-boy vampire cliche.
I have not listened to any of his other works.
Let's get real.
This was an interesting start to the series. It has left me with a thirst to see where it goes next.
"Predictable, trite, and uninteresting "
I was surprised at how utterly formulaic this novel is. I won't be looking into more from this author
Wasn't sure I would like this book, but man, it was funny and witty. I drive for a living and the audible book was great. Would love to hear the other books, but I can't see paying over $10 for a 4 hour audiobook. Maybe the author will put together a package like with the kindle edition.
Follow up books in the series are too expensive for as short as they are on audible. That keeps me from buying them.
"Fun Story with Great Characters"
I listened to this book while on a road trip with my (adult) daughter. We both loved it. I was afraid it might be a fat-hating book or a book that made fun of people who were not thin. Instead it was a surprisingly fun book with great characters on a real adventure. It used some of the traditional vampire tropes, but also upended a lot of the tropes in a really fun way. I'm excited to read the sequels.
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