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Sh-t My Dad Says Audiobook

Sh-t My Dad Says

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Publisher's Summary

The worldwide Twitter sensation: a brilliant new comic voice, and a 100% real father-son relationship that makes Steptoe and Son look healthy....

'At 28 years old, I found myself living at home, with my 73-year-old father. As a child, my father never minced words, and when I screwed up, he had a way of cutting right through the bullshit and pointing out exactly why I was being an idiot. When I moved back in I was still, for the most part, an idiot. But this time, I was smart enough to write down all the things he said to me....'

Meet Justin Halpern and his dad. Almost one million people follow Mr Halpern's philosophical musings every day on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his sayings. What emerges is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father and son relationship from a major new comic voice. As Justin says at one point, his dad is 'like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair'; and 'this is the sort of shit he says':

  • 'You know, sometimes it's nice having you around. But now ain't one of those times. Now gimmie the remote, we're not watching this bullshit.'
  • 'Happy Birthday, I didn't get you a present... Oh, mom got you one? Well, that's from me then, too - unless it's shitty.'
  • 'Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn't stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down.'
  • 'The worst thing you can be is a liar....Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2.'
  • 'Why the f**k would I want to live to 100? I'm 73 and shit's starting to get boring. By the way, there's no money left when I go, just fyi.'
  • ©2010 Justin Halpern (P)2010 HarperCollins Publishers US

    What the Critics Say

    'SMDS shows Justin inherited his father's comedy genes and, as well as being very funny, also paints a great story of regular American family life -- albeit with added swearing.' (Guardian Guide)

    'Justin's dad says a lot of funny things, and when he decided to update Twitter with some of his old man's pearls of wisdom he became of an overnight sensation. This book includes some of the best quotes from Mr Halpern senior. You will roar with laughter.' (The Sun)

    'With a million-plus followers, Justin became a Twitter sensation by posting his grumpy 73-year-old dad's 'wisdom'. Now he's produced a book about their relationship. Is it wrong to kind of wish his dad was our dad too?' (Cosmopolitan)

    'A chaotic, real-life portrait of a father/son relationship.' ( TNT Magazine)

    What Members Say

    Average Customer Rating

    4.4 (94 )
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    Performance
    Sort by:
    •  
      Justin Knight 26/10/2016
      Justin Knight 26/10/2016 Member Since 2016
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      "Brilliant."

      I listened to this book in one go and I think I'll do it again. The book was read well by Schemmel, the impression of his dad was funny but it's obviously what his dad says that made me laugh the most, especially about him finding the porn tape and why he was taking a girl to Vegas.

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Nicci H. 14/05/2015
      Nicci H. 14/05/2015 Member Since 2014
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      "Love this - listened twice"

      Fabulous story, well read by the narrator, listened to it twice now. well done !

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      K. Dillon 10/11/2014
      K. Dillon 10/11/2014

      Kirst2712

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      "Goodness me I did laugh!"
      Would you consider the audio edition of Sh-t My Dad Says to be better than the print version?

      I don't think it matters if you listen to or read this book, regardless you will hear your own father in there somewhere!


      Any additional comments?

      A very funny listen.

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      StumpyMum 13/04/2013
      StumpyMum 13/04/2013 Member Since 2007
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      "Sxxt my Dad says"

      This is a funny book. You'll quote bits to your family, even the cringeworthy bits and especially to my teenage son.

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Lyn ELY, United Kingdom 23/12/2012
      Lyn ELY, United Kingdom 23/12/2012
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      "Genuine laugh out loud book."

      I ordered this on a whim, and have listened to it 3 times. The laughs keep coming and the genuine affection that the two main 'characters' have for one another really comes across. Hilariously funny and warm, I'm pretty sure I will return to this book time and time again.

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      natasha Bury St Edmunds, United Kingdom 09/09/2012
      natasha Bury St Edmunds, United Kingdom 09/09/2012 Member Since 2010
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      "brilliant"

      This book really is laugh out loud funny..I love it and have listened to it over and over whenever i need a laugh..

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Mr. Brian Whittle uk 24/09/2010
      Mr. Brian Whittle uk 24/09/2010 Member Since 2016

      bexwhittle

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      "good but"

      This is a very funny if short book. The only problem I had is with the readers interpretation of the dad voice seeing as he is from Kentucky why does he sound like an very aggressive Brooklyn cabbie ?

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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      Pamela London, United Kingdom 24/08/2010
      Pamela London, United Kingdom 24/08/2010 Member Since 2011
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      "Hilarious"

      This is such a great book. It will have you laughing out loud I guarantee you. I've listened to this twice now and will no doubt listen again on a rainy day. Mr Halpern is such a great character! His wisdom knows no bounds!!!!

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Amazon Customer London 10/08/2010
      Amazon Customer London 10/08/2010 Listener Since 2006
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      "Taking notes for future fatherhood...."

      I really enjoyed this book, had me laughing out loud on the ride into work. Brilliantly narrated and left me with little soundbites I'm dying to fit into conversation...

      'My Dad's opinion on my swimming technique...
      'You look like a slow kid trying to smack ants''

      Quite un-PC, quite a gruff character, but one who's words and actions are underpinned with unquestioning love for his son.

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Rebecca 06/08/2010
      Rebecca 06/08/2010 Member Since 2012

      I am an avid listener, with a great passion for all things spoken word, including Hip Hop and Performance Poetry. Vive la difference!

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      "Surprisingly touching"

      This book was not only really very funny at times, smacking of anyone's parents or grandparents and the general hilarious nonsense they delight in imparting in the name of wisdom, it was also a touching autobiography.

      The relationship between Justin and his Dad is obviously a loving one, and a lot of the comedy is created through his Dad's attempts to educate or support Justin, whether it be an ill-advised spell as a little league coach or a sex-ed conversation gone wrong in front of a bunch of hungover jocks in the local Dennys. In between the often even unbelievable things that Justin's Dad says, which will not fail to raise a smile, there are things that he says which also strike a chord. Especially touching is the love for his wife and children that comes across so strongly despite his cantankerous and short-tempered outbursts that made his fame.

      You should have a listen to this, it's good.

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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    • Henry
      Chatswood, Australia
      31/03/13
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      "A hilarious book that deserves multiple listenings"
      What made the experience of listening to Sh-t My Dad Says the most enjoyable?

      Everything! The stories from Justin's childhood feel real and are written to just the right length and detail to allow the reader to immerse themselves in his world for those hilarious moments. The narrator was excellent. His voice for Justin's father really brought across the no-nonsense and manly yet funny character that was his dad.


      What other book might you compare Sh-t My Dad Says to and why?

      Not sure.


      What about Sean Schemmel’s performance did you like?

      It was a great performance. His voicing if a young Justin and his dad, as well as other characters were very convincing and made the audiobook so funny!


      Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

      There were many. I especially found the part where Justin's dad is coaching baseball a more 'serious' and nurturing insight into his father - someone who seemed to believe in a fair go for all in children's sports, loved baseball, and thought that all the children regardless of their ability should have the right to play baseball.


      Any additional comments?

      None.

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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