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  • Absolute Pandemonium: The Autobiography

  • By: Brian Blessed
  • Narrated by: Brian Blessed
  • Length: 13 hrs and 45 mins
  • 4.7 out of 5 stars (2,408 ratings)
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Absolute Pandemonium: The Autobiography cover art

Absolute Pandemonium: The Autobiography

By: Brian Blessed
Narrated by: Brian Blessed
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Summary

A memoir from national treasure Brian Blessed.

There is no one quite like Brian Blessed. He's an actor, film star, trained undertaker, unlikely diplomat, secret romantic, martial artist and mountaineer. He's also a brilliant storyteller who will - and you must brace yourself - simply leap out of the story at you.

Ready? Then listen to Absolute Pandemonium, and you'll be taken on a riotous journey from his childhood, growing up the son of a miner in Goldthorpe, to finding fame in Z-Cars. You'll see Brian falling for Katharine Hepburn on the set of The Trojan Women, suffering wires strapped round his wotsits as he was hoisted into the heavens on Flash Gordon, almost causing an international incident when meeting the Emperor and Empress of Japan, and winning round George Lucas to get the role of Boss Nass on Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace.

Along the way he takes secret revenge on headmistress Mrs. Jarman and her very big bottom; punches Harold Pinter; loves and hates Peter O'Toole; woos his beautiful wife, Hildegard Neil; and braves the shocking death toll on cosy TV drama My Family and Other Animals.

Crammed with anecdotes from his illustrious career, this is a funny, warmhearted, life-affirming, LOUD, and unique memoir from a much-loved figure.

©2015 Brian Blessed (P)2015 Pan Macmillan Publishers Ltd.

Critic reviews

"After reading Blessed’s just-published autobiography, Absolute Pandemonium, CW thought that all bets were off for the book of the decade." "Caitlin Moran’s Celebrity Watch." ( Times2)
"The pages of Absolute Pandemonium reverberate with the sound of that inimitable voice and his appetite for life." (Andy Miller, S Magazine)

What listeners say about Absolute Pandemonium: The Autobiography

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

A joyful, irreverent, nine hours of fun!

I suffer from depression frequently but still have to go to work like everybody else - but I kid you not, listening to Brian recanting stories covering everything from handling corpses at 15 to handing Hong Kong back over to China with Prince Charles - well, it pulled me out of a nasty bout of the blues as effectively as having the man himself grab me by the scruff of the neck and drag me onto a bouncy castle whilst growling " Gordon's alive! Did you hear me, man? GORDON'S ALIVE!!!!
The two hour drive to work was transformed into an unorthodox therapy session. I laughed throughout - but Brians description of revenge on a cruel headteacher by means of a homemade catapult had me choking. Highly recommended - like getting a big, sweary bear hug off the man himself!

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54 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

The cheek muscles on my face ache

What a brilliant book. Better than anything I've ever heard or read.
Read with gusto & aplomb, of course !
So interesting and matter of fact. Even the 'misery ' parts aren't so.
Be wary that during your every day life while listening you will be smiling and spontaneous laugher may make some people think you a little odd !
For goodness sake, just listen it's superb !

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25 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Forget who you think the author is...this is incredible.

Brian Blessed delivers an incredible story, his incredible story with honour wit and passion...mesmerising, funny and in turns shocking.

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21 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

a great first listen.

I have been toying with the idea of joining audible for a while. I have stated a job that has me driving long distances and after listening to lots of radio, I thought audio books might be a good change. Absolute Pandemonium has been a good start, I've always been a fan of Brian and he did not disappoint with stories from his early life in Yorkshire moving on to elements of his later life and relationships with Peter OToole and other famous names. Brian has fabulous anecdotes from his life on stage and screen, some will have you in stitches.

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10 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

GORDON'S ALIVE

This is a brilliant book made epic by being read by the legend himself. I've never met the bloke I'm sad to say, but after listening to his life story from his own lips I feel I know what makes the great man tick.

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9 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Sheer hilarity will ensue

What did you like most about Absolute Pandemonium: The Autobiography?

This is an excellent audiobook made even better by the author Brian Blessed reading it himself and he is gregarious and over the top as ever yet this book is chock full of great anecdotes and wry observations and also some very touching monents too
it is also very very funny so beware if driving and also he doesn't hold back on his anglo saxon either
above all it is an most excellent tale

What other book might you compare Absolute Pandemonium: The Autobiography to, and why?

The book tells you lots of his early life and career and is very interesting

What about Brian Blessed’s performance did you like?

I liked the passion he brought to each section - his love of pugilism is very enlightening too as is his deep abiding love for his wife that is so very evident throughout

Brian has packed a lot into his life and he comes across as a very gracious and grateful person indeed

The part where he speaks of his father in Hong Kong is priceless and his interaction with the Japanese prime minister is also most amusing too

Any additional comments?

just get it for yourself and laugh 13 hours away

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8 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Only shame is he skips his time in the Paras...

Where does Absolute Pandemonium: The Autobiography rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

Very enjoyable.

Who was your favorite character and why?

Obviously Brian Blessed

What does Brian Blessed bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you had only read the book?

His relationship with Peter O'Toole.

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

Er difficult as some parts were so intense that you need to step away and absorb what you have heard. Nothing wrong in this or did anything to ruin the story.

Any additional comments?

Yes I gave the story 4 stars as he skips his experiences in the Parachute Regiment and I am sure this would have filled some very enjoyable chapters - maybe it warrants a separate book as some people have done similar on their 2 years National Service.

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7 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Bloody marvellous!!!

Wonderful stories told by an amazing chap. You can't help but be swept up by the infectious enthusiasm of Mr Blessed. He tells stories of his rich history that will have you laughing along and shouting out 'Gordon's Alive!' at any given opportunity.

The man is an absolute legend and a national treasure. The informal and very personal style of this feels like he is there having a conversation with you about his exploits. Best audiobook I have ever listened to. Highly recommended!

Warning: If you listen in public there is a high risk of being thought a lunatic as you may spontaneously burst into fits of uncontrolled laughter.

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6 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

A brilliant autobiography.

Brian reads this book with so much enthusiasm. Fantastic audio book from start to finish.

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6 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

From the horses mouth

If you could sum up Absolute Pandemonium: The Autobiography in three words, what would they be?

Entertaining Insightful Madness

Who was your favorite character and why?

Brian's Gran because she so needed taking to task.

What does Brian Blessed bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you had only read the book?

Ony Brian Blessed can do Justice to Brian Blessed. I could listen to Brian read from a corn flake packet so to listen to him telling tales of theatre and the luvvies therein was an absolute joy

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

Brians description of his early encounter with Peter O'toole, what an eye opener!

Any additional comments?

If you have never listened to an audiobook before there could be few places better to start

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5 people found this helpful