Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
"Worth every penny"
Breakfast of Champions (1973) provides frantic, scattershot satire and a collage of Vonnegut's obsessions. His recurring cast of characters and American landscape was perhaps the most controversial of his canon; it was felt by many at the time to be a disappointing successor to Slaughterhouse-Five, which had made Vonnegut's literary reputation.
"malkovich is fantastic"
Crazy Rich Asians is the outrageously funny debut novel about three super-rich, pedigreed Chinese families and the gossip, backbiting, and scheming that occurs when the heir to one of the most massive fortunes in Asia brings home his ABC (American-born Chinese) girlfriend to the wedding of the season. When Rachel Chu agrees to spend the summer in Singapore with her boyfriend, Nicholas Young, she envisions a humble family home, long drives to explore the island, and quality time with the man she might one day marry.
Go the F--k to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don't always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. California Book Award-winning author Adam Mansbach's profane, affectionate, and radically honest verses perfectly capture the familiar - and unspoken - tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night.
"The Ideal Parenting Tool"
Deadeye Dick is Kurt Vonnegut's funny, chillingly satirical look at the death of innocence. Amid a true Vonnegutian host of horrors - a double murder, a fatal dose of radioactivity, a decapitation, an annihilation of a city by a neutron bomb - Rudy Waltz, aka Deadeye Dick, takes us along on a zany search for absolution and happiness. Here is a tale of crime and punishment that makes us rethink what we believe...and who we say we are.
When two very different couples, one who's just getting started and one who's apparently just getting finished, meet on a cruise, the better halves become fast friends. While Victoria Wilde is sexually adventurous and getting back on track in her quest of living life to the fullest, Jillian Grayson is reserved and struggling to hold on to a nearly 20-year marriage that's hanging on by a thread. But when Victoria offers Jillian advice on how to get the spark back between the sheets...things don't exactly go as planned.
Now in audio for the first time, Without Feathers is narrated by Woody Allen himself. Here they are: 16 of the funniest tales and ruminations ever recorded, by one of the great comic minds of our time. From "The Whore of Mensa", to "Fabulous Tales & Mythical Beasts", to "No Kaddish for Weinstein", old and new Allen fans will laugh themselves silly over these sparkling gems.
In 1902, a radical vegetarian and nudist from Nuremberg named August Engelhardt set sail for what was then called the Bismarck Archipelago. His destination: the island Kabakon. His goal: to found a colony based on worship of the sun and coconuts. His malnourished body was found on the beach on Kabakon in 1919; he was 43 years old. Christian Kracht's Imperium uses the outlandish details of Engelhardt's life to craft a fable about the allure of extremism and its fundamental foolishness.
After three centuries trapped underground, thousand-year-old Yulric Bile, also known as The Cursed One, The Devil's Apprentice, He Who Worships the Slumbering Horrors, awakens only to find that no one believes he is a vampire. Apparently he's just too ugly. Modern vampires, he soon discovers, are pretty, weak, and, most disturbing of all, good.
Two childhood friends from Scotland and two illegitimate half-brothers from the deep South suffer and enjoy all manner of bizarre adventures that, it turns out, are somehow interconnected and, even more surprisingly, meaningful. The eclectic cast of characters features Socrates, Carl Jung, and Tony Randall, along with an ex-television evangelist with a penchant for booze, prostitutes, and uncomfortable knitwear who gets mugged in Miami by an almost pure-blooded Watusi warrior - and sets off on a road trip in a stolen motor home.
When new preschool parent Justine discovers that the man who broke her heart back in grad school is a dad in her daughter's class, she tells herself she's immune to the superficial charms of the ex she calls "the crapwizard". But when his presence opens a time tunnel of potent memories from her life before motherhood, she must find a way to defuse her old attraction to him before it undermines her marriage.
"A delight from start to finish"
Where the art of improvisation meets the art of literature. Based on the improv game First Line, Last Line, Colin Mochrie of Whose Line Is It Anyway? fame, puts a unique spin on works of classic literature. Taking the first line and last line from classic books and poems, Colin recasts these familiar stories in his own trademark offbeat style.
Reginald Iolanthe Perrin, the creation of comedy genius David Nobbs, is surely one of the best-loved comedy heroes of our time - in both literature and television. So it is with great pride that Audible presents Reggie's escapades in digital audio for the very first time: we invite you to join him, and the memorable supporting characters who help him along the way, on one man's quest to avoid an everyday existence.
"An opportunity spurned"
What's a little arson between friends? Undercover CIA agent Fortune Redding spent her first three weeks in Sinful, Louisiana, dodging insults, makeup advice, guard dogs, bullets, and Deputy Carter Trahan, both professionally and personally. But just when she thinks things are going to settle down in the small bayou town, someone sets her friend Ally's house on fire. Carter, who'd just started pursuing Fortune on a personal basis, goes back into cop mode and admonishes her to stay out of his investigation.
Bleak Expectations' recounts the remarkable adventures of young Pip Bin as he tries to repair his destroyed family and distinctly damaged life, aided by his best friend Harry Biscuit and definitely not aided by his cruel and ironically named guardian Mr Gently Benevolent and his accomplices, the fearsome Hardthrasher siblings.
"Not as good as the radio"
BBC TV and Radio's Bob Servant, self-styled 'hero of Dundee', addresses life's problems for you and offers practical solutions you won't find anywhere else.
On a cold morning in Grimsby, Albert Hardcastle wakes up to the first day of his retirement. His days of working in a shop are behind him, and he and his wife, Alice, decide to celebrate by taking the luxury cruise of which they always dreamed. Meanwhile, on the Essex coast, Rear Admiral Sir Benbow Harrington, a retired Royal Navy officer, is trying to assemble a fleet of passenger ships. His newest vessel, the Golden Handshake, is ready for its maiden voyage.
Woody Allen's early comic fiction was heavily influenced by the zany, pun-ridden humor of S.J. Perelman. And now, for the first time, Woody Allen narrates one of his early collections of short stories, Getting Even. Listen to Woody Allen revenge himself on such significant subjects as death, obesity, organized crime, the invention of the sandwich, and much more.
Eugene Debs Hartke describes an odyssey from college professor to prison inmate to prison warden back again to prisoner in another of Vonnegut's bitter satirical explorations of how and where (and why) the American dream begins to die. Employing his characteristic narrative device - a retrospective diary in which the protagonist retraces his life at its end, a desperate and disconnected series of events here in Hocus Pocus show Vonnegut with his mask off and his rhetorical devices unshielded.
A quest to find the treasure of all treasures launches this swashbuckling tale of romance and high adventure across three centuries and takes you on a hilarious and visionary journey that includes lovers, pirates, bank robbers, treasure maps, yoga cults, love potions, assassins, con artists, quicksand, smugglers, and rock-paper-scissors.
Mystical. Weird. Hilarious. It's a tale of idiots. It's a tale of life. A dumb cast of characters you have to see to believe. The surgeon on an acid trip. The lazy Uncle who fuses with his favorite chair. The boy who comes back from the dead for revenge. Bootsy Collins. What do these people have in common? About as much as you have with Kevin Bacon.
Time-travelers, bag ladies, insomniac cats, wide-boy whales, headless horsemen, Polish plumbers, little piggy home-owners, and partially-sighted mice - something for everyone in this short-tale anthology of the absurd.
Thirteen years ago Oliver's father died in a battle against Red Line, the nasty dragon that plagued Aardland. Oliver has since grown into a very large man with little ambition, earning him a new name: The Lump. When Flynn, a glory seeking adventurer, and Meena, a mysterious foreign girl, arrive with news that Red Line has stirred once again, the Lump finds himself reluctantly embroiled in a quest to defeat the dragon.
When the robot came out of the closet and began charging its batteries in front of everyone there was a cry of outrage from a lounging bigamist who went on to say: "Protect our children's eyes from the machine lest they become machine-like and poop in our soup." When the robot approached the bigot to clarify a point, the bigot ran off screaming and left a hole in the breadline that the robot promptly filled to great cheers from the crowd watching.
After a few early glitches in their relationship, Sammy and his 'bro-bot' E are now best friends. In fact, E is such a valued member of the family that the other electronic members of the House of Robots are feeling sorely unappreciated. And when Sammy's inventor mom becomes distracted by a top-secret project, the robots soon begin to fall into disrepair. Cue a robot revolt, with the droids wreaking harmless havoc in the house!
This funny and quirky novel is a story within a story, because woven between the lines are clues to an actual treasure hidden for you to find. After experiencing enough losses for a lifetime, Nels Ware does not take things for granted, especially his family of friends. So when a $50,000 treasure hunt grabs his attention, he recruits them for the rollicking quest.
When Tom's girlfriend walks out on him the day before Christmas, he feels humiliated but not necessarily heartbroken. Sadie wasn't, after all, The One. If we're being precise, she was number 85. And so, for reasons that are only mostly wrong, Tom embarks on a mission to bring his number of encounters up to a nice neat 100. Over the course of his quest he sleeps with a colleague, a colleague of a friend, a friend of a friend, a friend of a friend's wife, the estate agent selling his flat, and several more besides.
Angus and Hugh MacNaughton are brothers. They dislike each other...a lot. They have loathed each other since Hugh bit Angus at a family picnic many years ago. In a last-ditch attempt to forge a brotherly bond between the two, Mr. and Mrs. MacNaughton secure them jobs at an exclusive five-star game lodge. They manage to convince (bribe in the case of Angus) the siblings to work at Sasekile Private Game Lodge for a year.
Justin Lucas just started at a new high school, but there are no classes in really important stuff like English literature, mathematics, science, or history. Instead, the entire curriculum is dedicated to playing dodgeball. Justin is...perplexed. Where are the pencils and textbooks? Why are there so many explosives strapped to the balls? And what's up with the barbed wire? Does the school administration really think it's appropriate to wrap the balls in barbed wire?
"a bizarre yet oddly enjoyable story"
Sir Giles Thackery - renowned Terran detective - is defrosted from cyro-sleep to tackle one of his toughest cases to date. Ambassadors of the Galactic Guild are turning up dead in the most gruesome ways on board the luxury cruise liner, the Euripides. Accompanied only by his great - to the eighteenth generation - granddaughter, elite SLASP Agent, Nanette Thackery, Sir Giles rushes from one murder to the next, desperately seeking the answers to why.
Flora is forced to move back to the tiny island of Mure from the bright lights of London. It's tough: even the beautiful landscapes and bright blue sea can't lift her spirits - she's too busy looking after her dad and her feckless brothers. Then she chances upon her mum's collection of recipes and begins to cook her way through it. As she reconnects with her family and the place she was born, might she also find herself?
"Different but brilliant!"
Perhaps this is you. Perhaps you still owe your student loan and make jokes about how you'll never pay it back, so it's easy to ignore. We know. Perhaps you spend more than you earn. Perhaps you still live with your parents. We know. Perhaps those ignored bills and reminders have become threats and court summonses. We know, and we can help. Welcome to The Transition.
In this hilarious and sex-filled novel based on an actual event, author Joel Perry tells of 55 of Hollywood's highest awards - the Arthurs - that have been stolen, setting in motion the kind of craziness only turn-of-the-millennium Los Angeles can provide. Intrigue, murder, comedy, sex, romance, celebrity dish, and ultimately redemption play out for characters from Skid Row to Hollywood's Walk of Fame, including all the desperate wannabes in between.
Dive into the world of Timmy. Laugh your ass off as Timmy goes on his big adventure. Find out what happens to Timmy in this funny adult fantasy book.
This is the violent and bloody story about a lonely, ugly woman. She brought a bottle of fine scotch, 200 dollars cash, and a deep dish Chicago pizza to her local homeless shelter in the attempt to seduce a homeless man for a night of romance. Unfortunately, not even the homeless can be bribed, due to her ugliness.
This collection of short stories will give you a chuckle or two with how strange they are, and their funny and entertaining tones. However, they are adult enough that you do not have to share your guilty pleasure with children, giving you something all to yourself. Follow these seven main characters as they find themselves in impossible situations that will make you laugh and leave you entertained for a few hours.
When Wisconsin veterinarian Doc dies, his family learns that to inherit his fortune, they must decipher the cryptic codicil he added to his will - "Take Doofus squirrel-fishing" - and they can only do that by talking to Doc's friends, reading the memoir Doc wrote of a Christmas season decades earlier, searching through Doc's correspondence, and discovering clues around them. Humor abounds as this mismatched lot tries to find time in their hectic lives to work together to solve the puzzle. In the end, will they realize that fortune comes in many guises?
This is a treacherous and bloody short story about a bullfrog with the human head of a boy. His name was Norman and he was a very curious and strange child.
Dating disasters happen to most everyone, but for Jen they become catastrophes of monumental proportions. Jen's first therapist suggested she write her "escapades" down for therapeutic reasons to help free her conscience of the misfortunes that befall her short relationships and to help address Jen's underlying serial dating problem. After reading Jen's short stories, that therapist prescribed electroconvulsive therapy (electroshock therapy) and then abruptly joined a cult and moved to Guatemala to become a goat herder with the new Messiah.
If you've done six impossible things this morning, why not round it off with breakfast at Milliways, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe? Which is exactly what the crew of the Heart of Gold plan to do. There's just the small matter of escaping the Vogons, avoiding being taken to the most totally evil world in the Galaxy and teaching a space ship how to make a proper cup of tea. And did anyone actually make a reservation?
"Not as good as HHGTTG"
Sitting quietly in his room in an old people's home, Allan Karlsson is waiting for a party he doesn't want to begin: his one-hundredth birthday party. Escaping through his bedroom window, into the flowerbed, Allan makes his getaway. And so begins his picaresque and unlikely journey involving criminals, several deaths, a suitcase full of cash, and incompetent but very human police.
In consequence of a number of stunning catastrophes, Arthur Dent is surprised to find himself living in a hideously miserable cave on prehistoric Earth. However, just as he thinks that things cannot get possibly worse, they suddenly do. He discovers that the Galaxy is not only mind-boggingly big and bewildering but also that most of the things that happen in it are staggeringly unfair.
8.45 P.M. Realise there have been so many times in my life when have fantasised about going to a scan with Mark or Daniel: just not both at the same time. Before motherhood before marriage Bridget with biological clock ticking very, very loudly finds herself unexpectedly pregnant at the eleventh hour: a joyful pregnancy which is dominated however by a crucial but terribly awkward question - who is the father?
"Has Bridget gone as far as she can go?"
Better Than Life finds the crew trapped in a mind-boggling computer game that is threatening their lives and safety of the ship. One by one, they enter the game to rescue each other - and one by one, they become trapped! Holly will have to use his mega brain to solve this one.
"Excellent Sci-Fi, but..."
There is a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. It's not an easy thing to do and Arthur Dent thinks he's the only human who's been able to master this nifty little trick - until he meets Fenchurch, the girl of his dreams. Fenchurch knows how the world could be made a good and happy place. Unfortunately she's forgotten. Convinced that the secret lies within God's Final Message to His Creation they go in search of it. And in a dramatic break with tradition - actually find it....
Daft Wee Stories is Limmy's first book. It is a collection of stories. There are short stories. There are longer stories. There are stupid stories. There are thoughtful stories. There are upside-down stories. There are normal-way-up stories. There are weird stories. There are less weird stories. There are really weird stories. There is nothing else like it. Have a listen.
"Vast collection of funny stories"
What happens when the haggling is done and the shops are closed? When the quest has been given, the steeds saddled, and the adventurers are off to their next encounter? They keep the world running, the food cooked, and the horses shoed, yet what adventurer has ever spared a thought or concern for the Non-Player Characters? In the town of Maplebark, four such NPCs settle in for a night of actively ignoring the adventurers drinking in the tavern when things go quickly and fatally awry.
Abi's left inconsolable when Joseph dumps her, saying they are incompatible. When Joseph returns a box of her possessions, she finds a bucket list of 10 things. What better way to win him back than by completing the list? But Abi's terrified of heights - not ideal when the list includes abseiling down a building. Completing the list is going to need all Abi's courage, but as she heals her broken heart one task at a time, the newly confident Abi might just have a surprise in store....
"hard to put down"
Meet Zoe and Greg Milton, a married couple who have let themselves go a bit. Zoe was a stunner in her college days, but the intervening decades have added five stone, and removed most of her self-esteem. Greg's rugby-playing days are well and truly behind him, thanks to countless pints of beer and chicken curry. When Elise, a radio DJ and Zoe's best friend, tells them about a new competition, it seems like the perfect opportunity to turn their lives around.
Berlin, Summer 2011. Adolf Hitler wakes up on a patch of open ground, alive and well. Things have changed - no Eva Braun, no Nazi party, no war. Hitler barely recognises his beloved Fatherland, filled with immigrants and run by a woman. People certainly recognise him, albeit as a flawless impersonator who refuses to break character. The unthinkable, the inevitable happens, and the ranting Hitler goes viral, becomes a YouTube star, gets his own T.V. show, and people begin to listen.
"Hilter Springer Show"
A control freak looks for love (women who leave wet teaspoons in sugar bowls need not apply). 'I haven't woken up with a cup of tea by the bed for seven years. It seems such a small thing but it's one of a thousand things I miss about having someone around to take care of me. I have spent my entire adult life getting things the way I want them and all I want now is someone to give it all up for.' Jon Richardson. Is your filing faultless? Your CDs, apostrophes, cutlery all in the right places?
"Buy this book now"
Meet Adrian Mole, a hapless teenager providing an unabashed, pimples-and-all glimpse into adolescent life. Writing candidly about his parents' marital troubles, the dog, and his life as a tortured poet and 'misunderstood intellectual', Adrian's painfully honest diary is still hilarious and compelling reading thirty years after it first appeared.
"thanks so very sorry but we have not been able use"
When Lexi's boyfriend, Will, skips her friend's wedding to watch football, it might just be the final whistle for their relationship. But rather than getting mad, Lexi decides to even the score. When 'lost' tickets and an 'accidentally' broken television lead to them spending time together, she realises that revenge might be a good thing. If her clever acts of sabotage prove to be a popular subject for her blog, what harm can that do?
"Drivel around a NOTHING storyline"
The perfect summer romance from the author of A Christmas Tail. Perfect for fans of Sarah Morgan and Holly Martin. Summer Freeman returns to the waterside village of Willowbeck to rescue the Canal Boat Café, her late mother's picturesque narrowboat, which has run into choppy waters. A family friend, Valerie, has been trying to keep things afloat, but the coffee machine is jammed, the cake offerings are paltry, and not all of the locals want to see the café succeed.
"I really enjoyed this book..."
Is it a break? Or is it a blip? Liv and Adam are in love. Liv and Adam are supposed to be getting engaged. Until Adam accidently suggests they take a break. And Liv starts thinking.... Friends, family and bystanders all have opinions, and one complication leads to another as Adam and Liv try to muddle through in this hilarious, heartwarming comedy. Are they split up - or are they on a break? What exactly are they allowed to get away with? And, most importantly, what do Liv and Adam really want?
Penguin presents the unabridged, downloadable, audiobook edition of Always With Love by Giovanna Fletcher, read by Hannah Tointon. The next much-anticipated romantic chapter in Billy and Sophie's love story from best-selling author Giovanna Fletcher. Sophie's got used to being the girlfriend of Billy Buskin, the biggest movie star in the world. Sort of.
On doctor's orders, Bertie Wooster retires to sample the bucolic delights of Maiden Eggesford. But his idyll is rudely shattered by Aunt Dahlia who wants him to nobble a racehorse. Similar blots on Bertie's horizon come in the shape of Major Plank, the African explorer, Vanessa Cook, proud beauty and 'moulder of men', and Orlo Porter, who seems to have nothing else to do but to think of sundering Bertie's head from his body.