God Is Disappointed in You is for people who would like to read the Bible...if it would just cut to the chase. Stripped of its arcane language and interminable passages, every book of the Bible is condensed down to its core message, in no more than a few pages each. Written by Mark Russell with cartoons by New Yorker cartoonist Shannon Wheeler, God Is Disappointed in You is a frequently hilarious, often shocking, but always accurate retelling of the Bible, including the parts selectively left out by Sunday School teachers.
"lighthearted but informative, a great listen."
They were bored, broke, burned out, and turning 40, so when Ben and Dinah saw the advert looking for a husband and wife team with young kids to write a guidebook about family travel around Britain, they jumped at the chance. With naïve visions of staring moodily across Coniston Water and savouring Cornish pasties, they embark on a mad-cap five-month trip with daughter Phoebe, four, and son Charlie, two, embracing the freedom of the open road with a spirit of discovery and an industrial supply of baby wipes.
"How NOT to parent"
Mark Russell & Shannon Wheeler's faithful yet irreverent approach to the Bible made their book God Is Disappointed in You a modern cult classic. Now, by popular demand, they turn their attention to the best parts left out of the canonical Bible, including the Midrash, the Apocrypha, Gnostic Gospels, and more! And if you thought the Bible had some weird stuff in it....
"So funny and yet accurate"
Master storyteller and satirist Kurt Vonnegut was one of the most in-demand commencement speakers of his time. For each occasion, Vonnegut's words were unfailingly unique, insightful, and witty, and they stayed with audience members long after graduation. As edited by Dan Wakefield, this book reads like a narrative in the unique voice that made Vonnegut a hero to readers and listeners of all ages. At times hilarious, razor-sharp, freewheeling, and deeply serious, these reflections are ideal for anyone undergoing what Vonnegut would call their "long-delayed puberty ceremony".
"a delight to the ears"
Secret Lives of the U.S. Presidents features outrageous and uncensored profiles of the men in the White House - complete with hundreds of little-known, politically incorrect, and downright wacko facts.
It's impossible to go a full day without using snark, so why fight it? Snark is everywhere, from television to movies to everyday life. This lively collection provides hours of entertainment - better than an Etch A Sketch, and more fun than Silly Putty! At the heart of it, being in a state of snark can be one of the most useful tools at one's disposal and hence (yes, I used "hence"), a powerful way to get what you want. With snark, you can catch people completely off-guard, and royally piss them off.
P.J. O'Rourke began writing funny things in 1960s underground newspapers, became editor-in-chief of National Lampoon, then spent 20 years reporting for Rolling Stone and The Atlantic Monthly as the world's only trouble spot humorist, going to wars, riots, rebellions, and other "Holidays in Hell" in more than 40 countries.
Perhaps all of Jonathan Ames' problems, and the genesis of this hilarious audiobook, can be traced back to the late onset of his puberty. After all, it can't be easy to be 16 with a hairless penis "undistinguishable from that of a five-year-old's".
Actor Stephen Tobolowsky has appeared in over 200 movies and television shows. He has played everyone from Ned Ryerson in Groundhog Day to Sandy Ryerson in Glee. He has amused thousands with his true stories on The Tobolowsky Files at Slashfilm.com and iTunes. Here he shares some homespun philosophy and more true stories that prove tales of sex, drugs, and rock and roll are often the most humiliating and almost always the most enjoyable.
A Modest Proposal for Preventing the Children of Poor People in Ireland From Being a Burden to Their Parents or Country, and for Making Them Beneficial to the Public, commonly referred to as A Modest Proposal, is a Juvenalian satirical essay written and published anonymously by Jonathan Swift in 1729. Swift suggests in his essay that the impoverished Irish might ease their economic troubles by selling children as food. By doing this he mocks the authority of the British officials.
"A Classic Work of Satire Brought to Life"
In his latest collection, I Love You More Than You Know, Ames proves once again his immense talent for turning his own adventures, neuroses, joys, heartaches, and insights into profound and hilarious tales. Alive with love and tenderness for his son, his parents, his great-aunt, and even strangers in bars late at night, in I Love You More Than You Know Ames looks beneath the surface of our world to find the beauty in the perverse, the sweetness in loneliness, and the humor in pain.
"Painful narration, painful book"
When Bonnie Grayduck relocates from sunny Santa Cruz California to the small town of Lake Woebegotten, Minnesota, to live with her estranged father, chief of the local two-man police department, she thinks she's leaving her troubles behind. But she soon becomes fascinated by another student - the brooding, beautiful Edwin Scullen, whose reclusive family hides a terrible secret. (Psst: they're actually vampires. But they're the kind who don't eat people, so it's okay.)
Gazing into the bathroom mirror one morning while shaving, Josh Kornbluth realizes that he looks remarkably like the guy on the $100 bill. Like any good Jewish son, he immediately calls his mother. From there he becomes obsessed with what it means to be a founding father, especially when your own father/son relationship (Ben had an illegitimate son named William who was a British loyalist during the Revolutionary War) is more than a bit strained.
Jude, a profoundly unsuccessful chicken farmer, finds himself at the center of Europe's sovereign debt crisis when Europe's economic elite convince him that his roofless henhouse needs to become too big to fail. What starts out as a simple roofing job quickly spirals into a hundred-billion euro project to cover Jude's native Squanderland in solar panels. But when the latest Eurozone scheme plunges his homeland into darkness, Jude must decide whether listening to the experts or listening to his heart will ultimately save his homeland, himself, and his beloved hen, Enda.
Meet Gregor Samsa, a humble young man who works as a fabric salesman to support his parents and sister. His life goes strangely awry when he wakes up late for work and discovers that, inexplicably, he is now a man-sized baby kitten. His family freaks out: Yes, their son is OMG so cute, but what good is cute when there are bills to pay? As his new feline identity threatens to eat away at his personality, Gregor desperately tries to survive this bizarre, bewhiskered ordeal by accomplishing the one thing he never could as a man: He must flee his parents' house.
Downton Abbey has brought out the Anglophile in American fans of the hit TV series. But Anglophilia has a long history in America. Why are some native-born residents of our Shining City Upon a Hill, where All Men Are Created Equal, seduced by the fluting tones of manor-born privilege? At last, Anglophilia explained - in American, thank you.
Sure, everyone gets sick sometimes, but do you realize that plenty of those folks also die slow, unpleasant deaths from diseases that stumped even the experts at top-notch (still privately run) hospitals? That's right: There are plenty of illnesses that even physicians have never heard about. Nodding Disease, Alice in Wonderland Syndrome, and Cutaneous Horn (yes, you grow a horn) are all featured here in pithy, energetic entries. You won't have to worry about socialized medicine if you have this book....
Motherhood is absolutely hilarious if you're not too exhausted to notice! These writings feature funny, blogging moms who chronicle motherhood from a uniquely contemporary perspective. From labor pains to potty disasters, weight gain, holiday mayhem, teen angst, empty nest syndrome, home renovations and even colonoscopy exams, See Mom Run is the perfect prescription for today's harried parents!
Bird-loving Americans share a common problem: squirrels! These fast, greedy, incredibly crafty, fluffy-tailed rodents pillage birdfeeders before owners' very eyes. For 25 years Outwitting Squirrels has been leading the charge to help bird lovers defend their feeders. This classic defense manual for the besieged birder has been fully updated to deal with the more tech-savvy 21st-century squirrel. It provides 101 cunning strategies, both serious and hilarious, for outsmarting these furry but not so cute creatures.
Kids, a Primer is a collection of a grandfather's musings on the way his (now grown) children are raising their children and being glad about being a grandparent rather than a new parent with young children (again). While Ungar is convinced that grandparents could do a better job raising children if they had the energy, he is grateful that he, in fact, no longer has the energy.
When Lister got drunk, he really got drunk! After celebrating his birthday with a Monopoly-board pub crawl around London, he came to in a burger bar on one of Saturns moons, wearing a lady's pink crimplene hat and a pair of yellow fishing waders, with no money and a passport in the name of "Emily Berkenstein". Joining the Space Corps seemed a good idea.
"A must for Dwarfers!"
The only lie told more often than "no, that looks totally cute on you" and "I got AIDS through oral" is "it gets better". Well, a lotta times it don't. Sometimes it just sucks less. But I promise you: Where there's a Willam, there's a way. But this isn't all about me (for once). It's about you and how you can suck less at a variety of things drag queens are so much better at than the average person.
"Seriously your life will never be the same"
For years bros, meatheads, and gym rats around the world have posed pressing questions: What can you bench? Can I skip leg day? What goes in this protein shake? And, importantly, do you even lift, bro? At long last, answers to these questions and more can be found in one handy volume - The Swoly Bible, written by the Internet's favorite gym expert/literary genius, Dom Mazzetti. In it, Mazzetti lays out the truth about how to make gains in the gym and in your life.
"I've experienced a whole lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?" (Ellen DeGeneres)
Kate Schechter would like to know why everyone she meets knows her name - and why Thor, the Norse god of thunder, keeps showing up on her doorstep. Dirk Gently, detective and refrigerator wrestler, can uncover the mystery, and only the absurdist wit of Douglas Adams can recount them with such relentless humor.
Four classic episodes from the original TV series: Arrival, Songs of Praise, Easter Special and The Christmas Lunch Incident. Welcome to Dibley, a perfect village full of some perfectly peculiar people - including Alice Tinker and her underactive brain, Owen Newitt and his overactive bowels, and Letitia Cropley and her orange cake with Branston pickle icing.
"Warm and Funny"
Kenneth Horne, Kenneth Williams, Betty Marsden and Hugh Paddick star in 20 episodes of the anarchic 1960s radio comedy. Round the Horne arrived on BBC radio in 1965, bringing laughter to Sunday lunchtimes throughout the land. It carved a niche in the history of broadcast comedy, a sketch show which prodded the boundaries of propriety and innuendo.
David Mitchell and Robert Webb tackle various subject matters in a How to Cope with... guide, talking you through every day scenarios and situations. The subject matters discussed are How to Cope with... Being Normal; Pubs; Being Dumped, Parts 1 and 2; Coffee; Malmaison Hotels; Nudists; The Smoking Ban; Actors; Servants; and Getting Older.
Following his two New York Times best sellers, Brain Droppings and Napalm & Silly Putty, comes George Carlin's third audiobook, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, a riotous journey through the mind of one of America's premiere comic observers.
"Like a 7 hr comedy show"
A compilation of funny, irreverently reverent stories on aligning with the Divine in daily life. For the passionately spiritual and bemusedly skeptical alike. Adapted from a popular column originally published as "San Francisco's Spiritual Examiner" at examiner.com. "What if God IS the story? What if the Divine is constantly igniting roadside flares to get our attention? What if there actually IS a Supreme Organizing Principle with a ribald and unbridled sense of humor? And what if we each have this ardent inner suitor who's writing us love letters every day that often go unopened?"
Welcome to the hilarious, strange, elegiac, outrageous world of David Sedaris. In Naked, Sedaris turns the current mania for the memoir on its proverbial ear, mining the exceedingly rich terrain of his life, his family, and his unique worldview, a sensibility at once take-no-prisoners sharp and deeply charitable.
"Even better in audio"
The star of Parks and Recreation and author of the New York Times best seller Paddle Your Own Canoe returns with a second book that humorously highlights 21 figures from our nation's history, from her inception to present day - Nick's personal pantheon of "great Americans".
"One for Offerman / Swanson fans."
Rob Brydon, John Lloyd, Stephen Fry and Alan Davies are the panellists obliged to talk with deliberate inaccuracy on subjects as varied as: Snow, Tax, Champagne and Tigers.
Infused with her trademark saucy, sweet, and funny voice, Grace's Guide is a tongue-in-cheek handbook for millennials, encompassing everything a young or new (or regular or old) adult needs to know, from surviving a breakup to recovering from a hangover. Read by the author in her inimitable style, Grace's Guide features interactive elements and exclusive stories from Grace's own misadventures - like losing her virginity solely because her date took her to a Macaroni Grill - and many other hilarious lessons she learned the hard way.
"Amusing and yet incredibly useful"
Have you ever wished you could live in an earlier, more romantic era? Ladies, welcome to the 19th century, where there's arsenic in your face cream, a pot of cold pee sits under your bed, and all of your underwear is crotchless. (Why? Shush, dear. A lady doesn't question.) Unmentionable is your hilarious, scandalously honest (yet never crass) guide to the secrets of Victorian womanhood.
The name's Alan, Alan Partridge. They say the art of conversation is dead but I've rescued the drowning chat. Years ago I asked the BBC if I could host my own show and they said, "Alan you can't. It won't work." I said, "I can and it will." I have. It does (work that is). This is it. Listen. Learn and Listen some more. Ah-haah!
"5 for the comedy, minus 1 for value"
Professional heroes kill and loot deadly monsters every day, but Gorm Ingerson's latest quest will be anything but business as usual. The adventuring industry drives the economy of Arth, a world much like our own but with more magic and fewer vowels. Monsters' hoards are claimed, bought by corporate interests, and sold off to plunder funds long before the Heroes' Guild actually kills the beasts. Of course, that's a terrible arrangement for the Shadowkin; orcs, goblins, kobolds, and their ilk must apply for to become Noncombatant Paper Carriers to avoid being killed and looted by heroes.
When Alan meets 'France's second best racing driver' Michel Lambert, their discussion ranges from Cyrano de Bergerac to haute cuisine (or 'hot food', as Alan translates it). Friend of the stars Shirley Dee talks about the new film of her life, whilst ex-hostage Chris Lester is introduced to a surprise guest, the man he was chained to for two years in Liberia. Finally, a drugs scare ends the show on yet another bombshell.